A Macabre Parade

Three previously published Teleport City reviews have been revised and spruced up with brand new, larger screencaps.

Dagon
dagonfeatMuch of Dagon‘s running time is comprised of Paul’s desperate flight through the seemingly inescapable labyrinth of the crumbling village, mobs of bug-eyed, tentacled creatures always close behind. Most of this sticks pretty close to The Shadow Over Innsmouth. While it changes the motivation for arriving in the decrepit old village (a ship wreck instead of general curiosity) and the location of the village (somewhere along the coast of Spain instead of somewhere along the coast of New England), and adds a girlfriend into the mix, once arrived in town the action is more or less the same.
Count Yorga, Vampire
feat1Despite erroneous claims that this was originally going to be a porno film, I assume The Loves of Count Iorga, Vampire would have ended up looking like Hammer’s saucier 70s vampire fare like Twins of Evil and Vampire Lovers. It wouldn’t have harmed the film any to indulge in a little sexy, but ultimately I think it works pretty well in the final form as a very low-key, slow-moving, but hypnotic study of a jaded vampire that doesn’t lapse into either self-indulgent pity or over-obvious satire.
Haunted Palace
haunted43Much is made about the inherent unfilmable nature of most of Lovecraft’s stories, though I think to some degree this is overstated. The number one stumbling block is always the question of how you depict nightmares so foul that they become incomprehensible, or how you create a color that does not exist in our universe, or a structure with geometry that does not adhere to the laws of physics as define our space.

Three old reviews have been saved from the rubbish bin in which they mistakenly got thrown.

Face of Eve
feat1-1If jungle adventure movies have taught us anything, it’s that modern man, with all his so-called “refinement” and “civilization”, is the most dangerous animal of all. Whatever perils the jungle may hold, it is those city folk — greedy, thoughtless, and cruel — who step within its borders who pose the greatest threat. Even though those city folk ultimately fall prey to quicksand, cannibals, and hungry wild animals.
Creature of Destruction
feat16“There is no monster in the world so treacherous as man.” So we are reminded at the beginning of Larry Buchanan’s Creature of Destruction and, just in case we forgot, at the end of the film as well. I like a film with a message, but the message is considerably less interesting if the film has to print it out for you. But hey – at least the guy was trying, which is more than can be said for most films.
Murders in the Rue Morgue
feat22Murders in the Rue Morgue is also a good example of how important Vincent Price was to the success of these films. His special talent was making bad movies good, and making boring scenes interesting simply because he’s so much fun to watch. Even The Oblong Box, which is heavy on Price sitting there and talking, is made more enjoyable simply by virtue of the fact that Price is doing the talking.
Keith Allison is the ruthless overlord of Teleport City.


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Not quite disastrous enough (Part 1)

Paper1b

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This time around I have resurrected my long-neglected Et Al. section:

In my eternal quest to be sure I have found “the first”, I have been watching a lot of movies that, from their description, at least, might be early examples of disaster movies…

The bad news is that, nope, I haven’t found anything new that I’m prepared to classify as “a disaster movie”. The good news is, I’ve watched quite a number of reasonably entertaining little films…although if I never see another film with a plot centring on a love-triangle, it will be too soon…

Not quite disastrous enough

(Fun fact:  before the Plot-Point Specific Radio there was the Plot-Point Specific Newspaper…complete with typographical errors!)

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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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Once… twice… three times an icon

Three The Hard WayThree top stars of the blaxploitation genre team up for Three The Hard Way. Despite some serious flaws, it isn’t hard to find fondness for the end results.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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Satanic Panic!

This update has been a long time coming, and not just in the sense of being much tardier than I imagined possible.  I’ve been planning on doing an update on this topic one of these days since sometime around 2007!

 

Black Roses (1988), in which heavy metal is sending you to Hell…

The Gate (1986), in which heavy metal might still send you to Hell, but it can also send demons there if you play it backwards…

Mazes and Monsters (1982), in which fantasy role playing games may not send you to Hell exactly, but they’re sure to drive you insane…

and…

Night of the Demons (1988), in which you can’t even celebrate frigging Halloween without worrying about a one-way trip to the netherworld!

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.


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I should have seen this

2010-moby-dick.

 

Why haven’t I seen this?

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IT EATS A HELICOPTER.

 

 

 

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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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Banzai!

Meta Metta Gakido KozaEvery country has its own niche cinema that is considered crazy by other cultures. The Japanese movie Meta Metta Gakido Koza is one such example, a truly bonkers movie from a western viewpoint – or any other viewpoint.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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A little bit catty

TC48-claw2b

 

A resurrected review:

THE CREEPER (1948)

A scientist attempting to improve surgical techniques by introducing phosphorescence into human tissues accidentally transforms himself into a half-human cat-monster.

As you do.

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I have also restored access to my review of SEYTAN (1974), which apparently has been MIA due to some weird permissions issue.

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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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Carmilla and Carl

vampyr51VAMPYR: FROM CARMILLA TO CARL DREYER
It started out simply enough, as a review of the 1932 horror film VAMPYR. But as in all aspects of life, I have no self-control, and so off we go into a history of vampire literature, the transition from silent to sound film, the Pagan-horror stories of Arthur Machen, the wild costume parties of Baron Nicolas Louis Alexandre de Gunzburg, and yeah, somewhere in there we talk about Vampyr.

“As mentioned, the film’s protagonist is Allan Grey (Julian West), described in a title card as a man steeped in the study of the occult and macabre secrets of the world and prone to wandering the land in search of mysterious experiences (inspired, some claim, by the character of Dr. Martin Hesselius from In a Glass Darkly). That might be one of the earliest examples of the “informed attribute,” when a movie insists that a character embodies a particular skill or trait despite all evidence on screen to the contrary. Allan Grey seems to have absolutely no knowledge of the occult or any sort of competency in identifying it or dealing with it. In fact, his sole skills seem to be looking in windows and bugging his eyes out in confused terror.”

Keith Allison is the ruthless overlord of Teleport City.


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Mad Science and Martian Maidens

Mad Science and Martian Maidens:
The Science Fiction Adventures of Aleksey Tolstoy

aelita1Aleksey Nikolayevich Tolstoy was Russia’s less internationally known Tolstoy. While the one was writing thousand-page tomes about sad people losing things (pretty sure that’s the plot of most Leo Tolstoy books) that would be forced upon generation after generation, the other Tolstoy was writing slick science fiction adventures like Aelita (1923, adapted into a movie a year later), Engineer Garin (1924), and Count Cagliostro, which American high school students did not get to read, since there was no time left after plodding through Anna Karenina — in which absolutely no one travels to Mars, builds a death ray, or practices alchemy. Both Aelita and Engineer Garin were adapted into films, the first during the silent era, and the second during the heyday of the swingin’ sixties.

Keith Allison is the ruthless overlord of Teleport City.


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…but seriously, folks…

Shoot The MoonThe Alan Parker movie Shoot The Moon is a mostly well crafted drama that shows that not only is divorce a painful experience, what leads up to it often can’t be easily explained.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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