Amityville: The Awakennngghh…. zzzzzzzz…

Yes, at long last… it’s Amityville: The Awakening (2014… no, 2015… no, 2016… no, 2017! We mean it this time!).

So was it worth setting the alarm for this Awakening? Oh, of course not. It’s not as painfully bad as its multiple reshoots and reschedulings might have led us to believe, but the final product is so depressingly generic that I found myself wishing I were watching Amityville Death House instead. Give me enthusiastic incompetence over dreary corporate-approved indifference any day!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT: Amityville: The Awakening is free to watch on Google Play from now until October 28, 2017.

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.


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    True and compelling

    I Will Fight No More ForeverThe made for television movie I Will Fight No More Forever more than deserved a theatrical release.

    Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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      When Nikkatsu Met the Shaw Brothers

      ASIA-POL

      We have Jimmy Wang Yu, woefully outclassed by his co-stars from Nikkatsu. Scenes between Wang Yu and Shishido play less like a battle of wits between super villain and super spy and more like a world-class talent struggling to work with a petulant upstart, or the cool older kid trying to school the spoiled young brat on how to be suave. Everything Jô Shishido does can’t help but expose Wang Yu’s limitations. Ditto Ruriko Asaoka, who does her best to spark some chemistry between her and Wang Yu but can’t draw much blood from the stone.


      Keith Allison is the chief bacchanologist at MEZZANOTTE.


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        Kiddie kung fu

        The Power WithinPM Entertainment was much better at making action movies for adults rather than for children, and The Power Within is proof of that.

        Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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          The screenplay’s the thing…

           

          …wherein we are caught, an unconscionable thing.

           


           
          AMITYVILLE PLAYHOUSE (2015)
           
          In which…

          …actually, come to think of it, nothing happens.

           

           

          Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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            You deserve this break today

            Fast BreakThe sports comedy Fast Break takes a familiar premise and makes it funny and exciting.

            Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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              I Love This Dirty Town

              A look at the history of the two bars that serve as primary locations in the 1960 showbiz noir SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS.

              I LOVE THIS DIRTY TOWN

              Much of the film’s action takes place in two locations. One, like many iconic spots of the city’s middle of the century, is now a Duane Reade. The other soldiers on, one of the last of these places still standing in a city that always moves forward. Sidney Falco throws himself into the sweaty, drunken crowd of the rowdy night spot Toots Shor’s while JJ, impeccably dressed, holds court like a king with contempt for his subjects in the estimable 21 Club.


              Keith Allison is the chief bacchanologist at MEZZANOTTE.


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                The Skeleton Crew

                A long look at KRIMINAL, KILINK, anti-heroes of Italian fumetti and their Turkish counterparts. Special guest appearances by Mandrake the Magician, fake Joker, and totally not Superman.

                THE SKELETON CREW

                Diabolik was a return to the seedy days of the pulps. He was an accomplished thief, a master of disguise, and an ace at killing anyone who interfered with his ambitions. His amoral mayhem struck a chord with readers, who quickly catapulted the master thief to the upper level of pop culture stardom, making it obvious that others would follow in Diabolik’s steps, each one trying to be more outrageous and offensive than the last. Among the many characters inspired by Diabolik was Kriminal, created by Luciano Secchi working under the pseudonym Max Bunker. Kriminal was a master thief from England, notable for his curious choice in clothing: a black and yellow skeleton suit with a creepy skull mask. It’s a difficult look for a grown man to pull off, but he makes it work. Kriminal, whose alter ego was Anthony Logan, did his best to one-up Diabolik, exhibiting sometimes absurd levels of cruelty and violence as well a parade of scantily-clad females that he couldn’t help but menace. The dude was wearing a skeleton suit. You either have to menace or be laughed at.


                Keith Allison is the chief bacchanologist at MEZZANOTTE.


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                  What depths I will go to

                  The Bermuda DepthsThat giant turtle movie you all saw on TV as kids and has haunted you for decades since is The Bermuda Depths. You’re welcome.

                  Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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                    Greek Tragedy

                    ISLAND OF DEATH

                    The idyllic Greek island of Mykonos, where Zeus once battled the Titans, has long been a sunny vacation paradise favored by, among other populations, gay and lesbian holiday-makers. Although swamped during the high summer months by A-listers too cool for the sweaty EDM and glow sticks (or maybe just cell phones now) scene of Ibiza, the island takes on a more subdued character once the last throng of bikini and Speedo clad celebs have migrated elsewhere for the fall, leaving behind an eclectic population of salty locals, Bohemians, and artists. It’s probably no accident that director Nico Mastorakis chose this welcoming island as the spot to unleash his duo of deranged sociopaths in Island of Death.


                    Keith Allison is the chief bacchanologist at MEZZANOTTE.


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