SO DARLING, SO DEADLY
For the first half hour or more of the film, you’ll wonder if there’s even a plot, but even if you decide there isn’t, you’re not going to care, because everything is just that cool. After a series of assassinations, we meet up with tough-as-nails police captain Tom Rowland (big Brad Harris) and sleazy, cheesy private investigator Joe Walker (Tony Kendall), in Singapore, where mysterious, often female assailants start attempting to assassinate the duo as soon as their plane lands. However, this is Rowland and Walker we’re talking about, so their plane exploding on the tarmac, their train exploding on the rails, or the multiple killers taking potshots at them aren’t even close to enough to keep them from going water skiing or hitting on the chicks down by the pool at their hotel. Eventually, they get around to their case, which involves protecting a professor and his super secret weapon, which is yet another dumb laser beam that takes ten times as long and is ten times as complicated in performing a feat that would have been ten times more effective if you just used a missile or something.