A while back, I posted some of my favorite search terms that lead people to Teleport City. Well, my next installment is here (not posted here because it’s kind of long and a bit blue in spots).
FROM THE VAULT
- Just when you thought it was safe to go back to LA — posted by lyzard on April 29, 2009
- Reviews I Tried to Write, Part 2: Utter Barbarism — posted by El Santo on February 14, 2023
- Faux Poe — posted by KeithA on October 21, 2013
- Posted Last Night at 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting — posted by El Santo on November 30, 2021
- The Mummy's (re)Boot — posted by lyzard on December 13, 2009
Pages
- About the Cabal
- Full Index of Reviews
- Roundtables
- 01: Brainathon ’99
- 02: Bangs'n'Whimpers
- 03: Post-Apocalypso
- 04: Review All Monsters
- 05: Pretty Mad Scientists
- 06: Tainted Love
- 07: Days of Future Past
- 08: Secret Santa
- 09: Catch a Throwing Star
- 10: Four-Color Features
- 11: Big Bugs
- 12: Fish With Bicycles
- 13: Go Go Go-Go Boys!
- 14: paLe IMITATIONS
- 15: We're Gonna Need a Bigger Roundtable
- 16: Whoa… Deja Vu.
- 17: Month of the Living Dead
- 18: B-Masters Beach Party
- 19: Kinji Fukasaku – The Man No Genre Could Tame.
- 20: Home Video Holocaust – The Video Nasties
- 21: Father Dearest: Who's Your Daddy?
- 22: So Sorry…
- 23: Back to the Well
- 24: Another Month of the Living Dead
- 25: The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back
- 26: Rubber Soul
- 27: Shhhhhh
- 28: Month of the Alternative Living Dead
- 29: On Time & Under Budget
- 30: These Kids Today…
- 31: Mea maxima culpa
- 32: Stingathon ’09
- 33: 10,000 B.S.
- 34: Foot Notes
- 35: Don’t Touch That Dial!
- 36: He Conquered the World
- 37: Secret Santa’s Revenge
- 38: At the Movies of Madness
- 39: They Might Be Giants
- 40: The Other Elizabeth Taylor
- 41: The Dark Guys of London
- 42: Falling Stars
- 43: To Be or Not To Be! (Pilot Error)
- 44: Teeth and Tentacles
- 45: Brunoween
- 46: Howl of the B-Masters
- 47: It’s Alive!
- 48: Bad, Black and Beautiful
- 49: Don’t Quit Your Day Job
- 50: B-Mentia 15
- 51: Quelle Horreur!
- 52: Carradine, Thou Wayward Son!
- 53: Tall, Dark and Gruesome
- 54: Pets Gone Wild
- 55: The Bad Place
- 56: From The Bible To Barbarella
- 57: A Fistful Of Pennies
- 58: Hello, Dolly
- 59: No, Not That One!
- 60: Dr Terror’s House Of Honours
- 61: WTF!?
- 62: In The Key Of B
- 63: The Forgotten Dawn Of Horror
- 64: The Most Dangerous Roundtable
- 65: Room For One More
- 66: Were-WHAT?
- 67: The China Anniversary Syndrome
- 68: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 2
- 69: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 3
- 70: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 4
- The Links We Love
#1 by Blake Matthews on December 5, 2007 - 5:44 pm
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Wow, people actually write these things? I found Teleport City simply by looking for a fresh perspective on Godzilla vs. Megalon.
#2 by lyzard on December 5, 2007 - 7:44 pm
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Curiously enough, one of my earliest Teleport City memories is bringing the house down at work by reading exerpts from the Godzilla Vs Megalon review out loud. I don’t remember what lead me there in the first place, and although a part of me would like to say “Italian zombie movies!”, I think the answer to this question – as it is to so many of life’s questions – is probably “Godzilla”.
(“Teleport City…. I come for the guys in rubber monster suits, but I stay for the gut-munching.”)
#3 by lyzard on December 5, 2007 - 7:46 pm
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>> girls dressed as elves naked
> Wait, how can anyone be dressed and naked?
I think it would depend on what elves actually look like naked.
>> genetically engineered sharks
So, these guys end up at your place instead of mine HOW??
#4 by HP on December 5, 2007 - 8:35 pm
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Many, many years ago I watched “The Interns” (1964) on late-night TV, and Telly Savalas just had the usual male-pattern-baldness thing going on, with fringe on the back and sides. He looked like a bad-ass Mel Cooley. (It’s all I remember about the film. Well, that and being so bored I was watching a freaking soap opera.) So he must’ve started shaving his head sometime after that. Did he shave his head for “Ghengis Khan,” maybe? I just watched “Lisa and the Devil,” and apparently that movie was the first time he appeared on-screen with his trademark lollipop. But he was already cleanheaded by then.
Also, you want the American “General” model (scroll down).
#5 by KeithA on December 6, 2007 - 10:14 am
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And this is why I love the readers and posters here. Who else takes the time to track down such wonderful items?
#6 by El Santo on December 6, 2007 - 10:17 am
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“women in wetsuit fetishes
I’m putting this one in again because I want to stress it. And if the wetsuit is half unzipped and she has a speargun…hot damn!”
You thought the video box art for The Legend of Billie Jean was just about the hottest thing you’d ever seen back in 1986, didn’ t you? It’s alright– so did I. (Well, that or the box art for Hell Train— but that was fishnets and we were supposed to be talking about wetsuits…)
#7 by KeithA on December 6, 2007 - 1:17 pm
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Billie Jean combined wetsuit with short cropped bleach blonde hair…yeah, pretty much. If I could get the woman from High Tension in the same, that would be the total package, as she also fulfills my need for well-defined biceps.
#8 by supersonic on December 8, 2007 - 3:07 pm
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Some search phrases that have led people to my site:
“the crooked penis page”
“Why don’t you get a fucking job”
“used tissue nudity celebrity”
“young women and advertising and shaving gel”
“totally nude yoga & tai chi”
“reasons not to come on your period”
“do nostrils get bigger after cancer”
“frnt”