I’m kicking off another marathon “Netflix Diary” adventure, wherein I review everything that comes to me via Netflix — good for forcing me to review outside my comfort zone and diversify the contents of Teleport City. Although our first film, A Hammer Studios pirate film with guys dressed up in skeleton suits, hardly finds us in uncharted waters…

Things start off piratey enough, with the mutilation and stranding of a crew member for attacking the wife of the captain, a mysterious and ruthless pirate by the name of Clegg. Leaving the dastardly crewman to his fate sans food, water, ears, or tongue, the film then skips ahead a number of years to the remote British town of Dymchurch, which is being visited by no-nonsense British Navy captain Collier who suspects the small hamlet of being an offloading center for liquor smugglers. But Dymchurch hardly seems to be a den of smugglers and rapscallions, populated as it is by jolly coffin makers, upstanding squires, upstanding squire’s sons, and the benign local parson, Blyss. Collier, however, is an experienced hand at flushing out smugglers, so he’s hardly taken in by innocent looks alone.

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