… though they’re more of a Teleport City thing anyway.
Bikini Bloodbath Carwash (2008) is the sequel to the previously-reviewed Bikini Bloodbath, and manages to be less persistently irritating while still giving most of its time to dumb humor and bad jokes, with both the bikinis and the bloodbath jointly coming in as second priority. (People send me these DVDs, folks. I don’t seek them out.)
#1 by Blake Matthews on December 18, 2008 - 4:13 am
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How long did you have your site up before people decided to start sending you these screeners?
#2 by Nathan Shumate on December 18, 2008 - 7:12 am
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Not very long, really — inside of six months. But back then there were maybe a dozen B-movie review sites on the net.
#3 by El Santo on December 18, 2008 - 7:53 am
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It took about four years before I started getting screener offers. And to give you some idea of how dreadful the things that people usually want to send me sound, consider first that I do turn screeners down, and second that Slaughtered Vomit Dolls was among those I agreed to accept.
#4 by El Santo on December 18, 2008 - 8:08 am
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Also, in regard to Community College Commander, I remind you that Shipwreck and Zartan were both character names in the old “G.I. Joe” cartoon. Doesn’t exactly cause the joke to make any sense, but it does at least provide it with some semblance of setup and context.
Meanwhile, I’d rather not spend too much time imagining the T&A movie in comparison to which the collected works of Jim Wynorski and Fred Olen Ray can be described as “more satisfying.”
#5 by Blake Matthews on December 18, 2008 - 8:19 am
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It took me a year before I got my first and only offer. I wonder if I started writing again, if I’d get more offers.
#6 by Nathan Shumate on December 18, 2008 - 8:23 am
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Santo: That’s what I get for not following G.I. Joe in my youth.
Blake: Apparently, the secret is to heap abuse on the screeners you do get. Indie filmmakers really like that, I guess.
#7 by Bryan on December 18, 2008 - 8:54 am
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Though it would be interesting to see Liz’s view on such, um, quality material. Yeah, what he said….
#8 by Blake Matthews on December 18, 2008 - 9:18 am
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I read your reviews for movies like Bangers, Bad Magic, Killers in the Woods, etc. and I wonder what goes through the minds of the filmmakers so that they think this stuff is entertaining.
#9 by lyzard on December 18, 2008 - 3:12 pm
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So, I’m being offered the choice between boys in their underwear and girls in their bikinis?
Hey, remember when horror movies used to have MONSTERS in them?
#10 by lyzard on December 18, 2008 - 3:17 pm
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I used to be on Universal’s screener mailing list, but generally they wanted stuff done to a deadline, which isn’t really possible for me (even without the week’s international shipping time intervening); however, I successfully got through Bride Of Chucky and Dellamorte Dellamore. I did used to receive the occasional ‘indie’ screener but the lesson there is that I’m not thick-skinned enough for the job. I gave up on that branch of reviewing after I received a film for which I could not think of even a single remotely positive thing to say.
#11 by Nathan Shumate on December 18, 2008 - 3:24 pm
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See, it’s the reviews in which I have nothing positive to say that readers find most memorable. So have at it! There are always more clueless indie filmmakers who think their crap is gold to fill up the screener pipeline!
#12 by Baron Scarpia on December 18, 2008 - 5:09 pm
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I gave up on that branch of reviewing after I received a film for which I could not think of even a single remotely positive thing to say.
Oh come on, you have to tell us the title, at least. (Think of it as a public service) Nathan’s probably already got a review of it floating around somewhere.
#13 by lyzard on December 18, 2008 - 5:19 pm
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At the moment I’ve blocked it out. I’ll look when I get home tonight.
#14 by The Rev. D.D. on January 1, 2009 - 10:09 am
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Did you ever manage to find it?…
#15 by lyzard on January 5, 2009 - 5:10 pm
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Found it while cataloguing: Cold Fear. Nathan doesn’t have it, but Video Graveyard and Monsters At Play have both reviewed it. (I think they were both a little kind – even though their positive comments were confined to the technical aspects.)