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FROM THE VAULT
- Prepare the lethal injection! — posted by lyzard on June 5, 2018
- Only a semi-cheat… — posted by lyzard on February 6, 2018
- So much for January — posted by lyzard on January 25, 2010
- Go Directly to Jail Again — posted by KeithA on September 24, 2008
- Under the sea, under the sea… — posted by lyzard on July 17, 2011
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- About the Cabal
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- Roundtables
- 01: Brainathon ’99
- 02: Bangs'n'Whimpers
- 03: Post-Apocalypso
- 04: Review All Monsters
- 05: Pretty Mad Scientists
- 06: Tainted Love
- 07: Days of Future Past
- 08: Secret Santa
- 09: Catch a Throwing Star
- 10: Four-Color Features
- 11: Big Bugs
- 12: Fish With Bicycles
- 13: Go Go Go-Go Boys!
- 14: paLe IMITATIONS
- 15: We're Gonna Need a Bigger Roundtable
- 16: Whoa… Deja Vu.
- 17: Month of the Living Dead
- 18: B-Masters Beach Party
- 19: Kinji Fukasaku – The Man No Genre Could Tame.
- 20: Home Video Holocaust – The Video Nasties
- 21: Father Dearest: Who's Your Daddy?
- 22: So Sorry…
- 23: Back to the Well
- 24: Another Month of the Living Dead
- 25: The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back
- 26: Rubber Soul
- 27: Shhhhhh
- 28: Month of the Alternative Living Dead
- 29: On Time & Under Budget
- 30: These Kids Today…
- 31: Mea maxima culpa
- 32: Stingathon ’09
- 33: 10,000 B.S.
- 34: Foot Notes
- 35: Don’t Touch That Dial!
- 36: He Conquered the World
- 37: Secret Santa’s Revenge
- 38: At the Movies of Madness
- 39: They Might Be Giants
- 40: The Other Elizabeth Taylor
- 41: The Dark Guys of London
- 42: Falling Stars
- 43: To Be or Not To Be! (Pilot Error)
- 44: Teeth and Tentacles
- 45: Brunoween
- 46: Howl of the B-Masters
- 47: It’s Alive!
- 48: Bad, Black and Beautiful
- 49: Don’t Quit Your Day Job
- 50: B-Mentia 15
- 51: Quelle Horreur!
- 52: Carradine, Thou Wayward Son!
- 53: Tall, Dark and Gruesome
- 54: Pets Gone Wild
- 55: The Bad Place
- 56: From The Bible To Barbarella
- 57: A Fistful Of Pennies
- 58: Hello, Dolly
- 59: No, Not That One!
- 60: Dr Terror’s House Of Honours
- 61: WTF!?
- 62: In The Key Of B
- 63: The Forgotten Dawn Of Horror
- 64: The Most Dangerous Roundtable
- 65: Room For One More
- 66: Were-WHAT?
- 67: The China Anniversary Syndrome
- 68: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 2
- 69: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 3
- 70: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 4
- The Links We Love
#1 by Braineater on May 14, 2009 - 7:02 am
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Jaws: The Revenge, move over: you have a competitor for most absurd “shark + vehicle + explosion” image in a motion picture:
Sharks on a Plane. Or rather, one shark. Medieval abbies must be powerful shark bait.
I wonder why they made this frame go by so quickly in the trailer? As far as I’m concerned, this shot sells the film.
#2 by lyzard on May 14, 2009 - 7:43 am
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OH MY GOD I’M IN LOVE I’M IN LOVE I’M IN LOVE I’M IN LOVE. Move over, male of the human species, because if you think you can compete with that—
Oh, good lord, I’m having palpitations…
(Although I have to say, my jerky YouTube playback isn’t helping that film any, what with the freeze-frames and all…)
{Edited to add: Possibly!!?? POSSIBLY!!!!???? What are you sniffing, Shumate??]
#3 by Thomas on May 14, 2009 - 9:07 am
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You know, if this does well enough to merit a sequel then Keith might finally have a chance of selling his “Great White Squid” idea.
#4 by The Mud Puppy on May 14, 2009 - 9:17 am
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I am so looking forward to this film that I just know it will have to be a crushing disappointment. It’s also the first time an Asylum film has actually found its way onto my Netflix queue.
If I weren’t so certain it would suck I might well have just pre-ordered the damn thing from Amazon.
And yet I can’t help feeling like this might be THE GREATEST GIANT MONSTER MOVIE EVER MADE.
#5 by Chris S. on May 14, 2009 - 9:35 am
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I think I smell and Oscar.
#6 by Cabal on May 14, 2009 - 11:55 am
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Y’all notice how they managed to capture the stiff, awkward tentacular motions of a classic Puppet Octopus, even though theirs is a nifty Modern CGI Octopus? Now *that’s* attention to detail!
#7 by Chad on May 14, 2009 - 1:18 pm
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Lorenzo Lamas *and* Debbie Gibson?! They’ve pulled out all the stops for this reason.
#8 by Chad on May 14, 2009 - 1:26 pm
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Erm, I mean “film.” I have no idea why I said “reason.”
#9 by DaveCausey on May 14, 2009 - 2:51 pm
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Lorenzo Lamas IS Captain “Hunk” Hardsteak! Debbie Gibson IS Doctor Samantha “Sam *is* a Girl’s Name” Smartbottom! With the decommissioned and mothballed USS Iowa! Introducing “Maggie the Megalodon”!
This just might be the Greatest Film EVAH!
#10 by The Rev. D.D. on May 14, 2009 - 9:46 pm
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Having been burned by nifty trailers before, I’m a little leery, but Foy’s good rating gives me hope.
Although, honestly, I don’t think I could totally hate the movie even if it was utterly horrible, because THE SHARK EATS A DAMN AIRLINER.
The title should just be, “Big-Ass Shark Eats a Goddamn Plane.” I apologize to the giant octopus, but I’m sure it’d understand.
And then eat me.
#11 by MatthewF on May 15, 2009 - 8:03 am
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See, it’s true, sharks hate aeroplanes, always have. they’re natural enemies.
#12 by The Rev. D.D. on May 15, 2009 - 8:47 pm
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I thought that was helicopters…
Meh, let’s just say “aircraft” and be done with it.
#13 by Brett Wood on May 21, 2009 - 9:41 pm
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Me Want. The only way this could be better is if after the credits there a teaser of the bodies of the Shark and Octipus merging for a movie called Octoshark.
#14 by The Rev. D.D. on May 21, 2009 - 9:59 pm
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Octoshark–the Asylum’s ripoff of Devil Fish!
And really, isn’t that what the world has been waiting for?
#15 by coffee fan on May 24, 2009 - 9:10 pm
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I suspect that my enjoyment of this movie would be directly proportional to the amount of alcohol I consumed beforehand