I must be an excessively moral person. I’m trying desperately not to “give it all away” in my description of Paradise Hills (2007), and yet the writer/producer/director gives it all away in the first ten minutes. Heck, the “twist” is right there in the back-of-the-case copy for the self-distributed DVD. I must be a nicer guy than even I realized.
FROM THE VAULT
- ET AL., Part 3 — posted by lyzard on December 8, 2007
- Bad touch! — posted by kbegg on August 3, 2010
- Nope. Still Not Dead. — posted by El Santo on July 3, 2017
- David Carradine in a Loincloth — posted by KeithA on September 1, 2008
- Godzilla's Seafood Diet — posted by KeithA on February 2, 2009
Pages
- About the Cabal
- Full Index of Reviews
- Roundtables
- 01: Brainathon ’99
- 02: Bangs'n'Whimpers
- 03: Post-Apocalypso
- 04: Review All Monsters
- 05: Pretty Mad Scientists
- 06: Tainted Love
- 07: Days of Future Past
- 08: Secret Santa
- 09: Catch a Throwing Star
- 10: Four-Color Features
- 11: Big Bugs
- 12: Fish With Bicycles
- 13: Go Go Go-Go Boys!
- 14: paLe IMITATIONS
- 15: We're Gonna Need a Bigger Roundtable
- 16: Whoa… Deja Vu.
- 17: Month of the Living Dead
- 18: B-Masters Beach Party
- 19: Kinji Fukasaku – The Man No Genre Could Tame.
- 20: Home Video Holocaust – The Video Nasties
- 21: Father Dearest: Who's Your Daddy?
- 22: So Sorry…
- 23: Back to the Well
- 24: Another Month of the Living Dead
- 25: The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back
- 26: Rubber Soul
- 27: Shhhhhh
- 28: Month of the Alternative Living Dead
- 29: On Time & Under Budget
- 30: These Kids Today…
- 31: Mea maxima culpa
- 32: Stingathon ’09
- 33: 10,000 B.S.
- 34: Foot Notes
- 35: Don’t Touch That Dial!
- 36: He Conquered the World
- 37: Secret Santa’s Revenge
- 38: At the Movies of Madness
- 39: They Might Be Giants
- 40: The Other Elizabeth Taylor
- 41: The Dark Guys of London
- 42: Falling Stars
- 43: To Be or Not To Be! (Pilot Error)
- 44: Teeth and Tentacles
- 45: Brunoween
- 46: Howl of the B-Masters
- 47: It’s Alive!
- 48: Bad, Black and Beautiful
- 49: Don’t Quit Your Day Job
- 50: B-Mentia 15
- 51: Quelle Horreur!
- 52: Carradine, Thou Wayward Son!
- 53: Tall, Dark and Gruesome
- 54: Pets Gone Wild
- 55: The Bad Place
- 56: From The Bible To Barbarella
- 57: A Fistful Of Pennies
- 58: Hello, Dolly
- 59: No, Not That One!
- 60: Dr Terror’s House Of Honours
- 61: WTF!?
- 62: In The Key Of B
- 63: The Forgotten Dawn Of Horror
- 64: The Most Dangerous Roundtable
- 65: Room For One More
- 66: Were-WHAT?
- 67: The China Anniversary Syndrome
- 68: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 2
- 69: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 3
- 70: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 4
- The Links We Love
#1 by MatthewF on July 16, 2009 - 2:14 am
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I’m still waiting for the film where appearing in a reality show makes people happy and fulfilled as individuals. At least it would be different.
#2 by El Santo on July 16, 2009 - 6:55 am
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And truly within the realm of science fiction…
#3 by Nathan Shumate on July 16, 2009 - 7:15 am
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Not to mention BO-RING.
#4 by MatthewF on July 16, 2009 - 8:22 am
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Hey I said it would be different, I didn’t say it would be good. My favourite reality-tv based thing has to be Dead Set, where all the contestants on big brother are eaten by zombies.
#5 by Chris S. on July 16, 2009 - 9:32 am
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No breasts??? It’s a poverty row thriller about the dangers of a pop culture fad, and there’s no exploitative nudity in it? I feel … dizzy.
#6 by Blake Matthews on July 16, 2009 - 10:04 am
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“No breasts???”
Had it been a suspense thriller based around this year’s Big Brother Brasil, you might’ve gotten lots of exploitive bits.
#7 by Chris S. on July 16, 2009 - 11:17 am
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It just defies my expectations to a baffling degree. It doesn’t help that most of the screenshots look like they were taken from a mid-90s porno.
Also, an actor named Robert Lewis Stephenson gets top billing. Honestly, what kind of stage name is that? Was Alexander Pope already taken?
#8 by PCachu on July 16, 2009 - 6:50 pm
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He was originally going with Steven Hauking, but decided it came across as a little pretentious.
#9 by Nathan Shumate on July 16, 2009 - 8:23 pm
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And there was already a Wilhelm Sheikspeire in SAG.
#10 by Onion on July 17, 2009 - 8:42 am
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I’m still waiting for a movie so degrading to an actress’ sense of self-worth that she assumes the stage name Amanda Huggenkiss.
#11 by Chris S. on July 17, 2009 - 9:12 am
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According to IMDB there’s an Amanda Huggins. She has one screen credit, as Sally-Anne in Knights and Emeralds (1986). From the plot synopsis, it sounds like a film in which a marching band competition is the solution to simmering racial tensions in a small town high school. Oh, and the female lead is played by an actress named Beverly Hills.
Does that satisfy you?
#12 by El Santo on July 17, 2009 - 9:57 am
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“Oh, and the female lead is played by an actress named Beverly Hills.”
Incredibly enough, this means that there have been at least two actresses using that stage name. The other was Beverly Powers, an extremely minor 60’s glamour girl whose biggest claim to fame was probably her turn as Kent Taylor’s two-timing (actually, it’s more like six- or seven-timing) wife in Brides of Blood.
#13 by Chris S. on July 17, 2009 - 11:55 am
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Three, actually. According to IMDB (again), there’s a Beverly Hill whose one screen credit is Death of a Dog (2000). She plays (and I quote) “Pet Shot Clerk”.
There’s also a Beverley Hills who worked as a costume designer on Faith Alone (2008), and nothing else.
You know, it seems like the pseudonym “Beverly Hills” and its assorted variants may be Hollywood shorthand for “I don’t work all that much”.
#14 by El Santo on July 17, 2009 - 2:19 pm
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“You know, it seems like the pseudonym ‘Beverly Hills’ and its assorted variants may be Hollywood shorthand for ‘I don’t work all that much’.”
Well, Beverly Powers at least worked rather a lot in the 60’s and 70’s. She just worked rather a lot playing characters with names like “stripper” and “party girl.”
#15 by Chris S. on July 17, 2009 - 3:18 pm
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Well, there’s quantity, and then there’s quality …