THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER (1982)
I needed a sword ‘n’ sorcery film for our sword ‘n’ sorcery Roundtable, so I picked The Sword And The Sorcerer.
Not one of my more inspired moments, I agree.
However, apart from being the first of the true sword ‘n’ sorcery films of the 1980s, this also has the distinction of being in all probability the best film ever directed by Albert Pyun.
Contemplate that on the Tree Of Woe.
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Speaking of which—
This Roundtable also gave me the chance to recover and revise my old review of Conan The Barbarian – and to remind myself what an astonishingly good film it is, too.
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#1 by JessicaR on February 24, 2010 - 10:06 pm
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Because I am a bad person I hoping this means we’ll get a review of Conan the Destroyer one of these days.
#2 by lyzard on February 24, 2010 - 10:11 pm
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You nearly got it this time, until I realised I had a built-in excuse not to. 🙂
#3 by JessicaR on February 24, 2010 - 10:29 pm
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Aw, I wanted Grace Jones screencaps, and your no doubt wonderful attempt to describe Ms. Jones’ erm, performance. I have such a shameful affection for that film.
#4 by lyzard on February 24, 2010 - 11:14 pm
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You’ll get CtheD on its own one day, but back-to-back with CtheB I find it too hard to take.
As for Grace Jones, well, she’s no Sandahl Bergman. 🙂
#5 by Ed on February 24, 2010 - 11:45 pm
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On Conan: Great review as always. I doibn’t blame you for passing on the double dose of Conan. I like the second movie and I have my limits on it!
By any chance did you listen to the audio commentary on the CtheB DVD? It’s an interesting mix of Milius taking things way too seriously (he can read deep meaning in even the most insignificant of things, truly a man with too much time on his hands) and The Governator throwing in the occasional comment. Quite a fun track, if not always for the right reasons.
#6 by lyzard on February 24, 2010 - 11:51 pm
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John Milius taking things too seriously!? Well, I am gobsmacked!
Thanks, Ed! No, I have a cable copy so the commentary track wasn’t an option. Sounds like it might be worth renting one day, though.
#7 by Albert Pyun on February 24, 2010 - 11:57 pm
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Well, I’m not through yet, so there’s still hope (however minimal) I can finish my career with a flourish by directing a film at least the equal of The Sword and the Sorcerer. I have five (!) shots at it this year alone, by god. So don’t lose all hope ye believers.
I have “Bulletface” (www.bulletfacemovie.com) coming out this week and then my Sword follow up “Tales of an Ancient Empire” with Kevin Sorbo and Christopher Lambert in April and “Road to Hell” (my Streets of Fire riff starring Michael Pare’) in June. At least one of them has to be competently directed! Oh lordy please.
Thanks for the kind attention to Sword!
Best,
Albert Pyun
http://www.albertpyunmovies.com
#8 by lyzard on February 25, 2010 - 3:09 pm
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GASP!! CHOKE!!! SPLUTTER!!!! Oh, boy, do I pick the right nights to go out and leave my computer unattended, or what!?
Well, I’m sure I speak for everyone here when I say that this is a very great honour! Thank you very much for stopping by. I was both and amazed and pleased when I heard that Tales Of The Ancient Empire was finally a go. Please feel free to drop in with updates at any time.
And remember – whatever we say, the bottom line is…we do keep watching! 🙂
#9 by supersonic on February 26, 2010 - 11:21 am
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Hey Mr. Pyun, have you ever seen Rian Johnson’s Brick? I have a sneaking suspicion some of it might have been inspired by your Dangerously Close.
#10 by DamonD on February 25, 2010 - 7:04 am
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My God, Albert Pyun’s posted here? I…actually feel like kowtowing, y’know? Or at least a bow. Hope you’re doing well, sir!
Oh, and, I love CtheB.
Basil Poledouris’ score is one of a rare breed that can truly be called ‘epic’. It sweeps everything up with it, makes everything seem bigger, more dramatic, more meaningful. The music for the attack on the village at the start is a masterpiece…and that’s just the START!
I’m sad Sandahl has never been as good again (including a panto performance in Red Sonia). Valeria was the heart and soul of this film. If you were fighting the world by Crom you’d want a woman like that alongside you.
#11 by The Rev. D.D. on February 25, 2010 - 10:59 pm
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Can someone confirm that was actually A.P.? I mean, let’s face it, my suspicion is warranted–it’d be a first! If so….wow. Just wow.
I haven’t seen this movie since high school, and never in its unedited form, but even then I enjoyed it. I find myself now wondering why I haven’t seen it since, really; I mean, how many times have I watched The Beastmaster or the 2nd Ator movie (MSTed, granted), and yet haven’t gotten back around to this one? Heck, it was one of the only ones I could get dad to watch with me (I told him “Matt Houston”/”Ethan Cord” was in it), and he even liked it!
I think I need to rectify this…
#12 by Mr. Rational on February 26, 2010 - 1:08 am
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Great observations as usual. I especially liked this excerpt from your Conan review:
“We are left in no doubt that this is John Milius’ own viewpoint at work: the whole of Conan The Barbarian is shot through with an almost wistful longing for a time when people solved their problems not through talk, or negotiation, but by hacking at each other with swords until somebody died; for a time when ‘men were men’….and women were ‘breeding stock’.”
If this is how Milius looks at the world, no wonder he’s willing to sign a Polanski petition.
#13 by Read MacGuirtose on February 26, 2010 - 2:38 am
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You know, you complain a bit about the names of Cromwell and King Richard, but what about Verdugo? That’s just the Spanish word for executioner. Okay, so he’s apparently a jailor, not an actual executioner, but that’s close enough that the name seems a little silly. It’s not entirely unlike some of those Golden Age superheroes and supervillains who just happened to gain powers that were closely related to their names.
Unless, on the other hand, Verdugo isn’t the character’s real name, but rather a nickname that he got because of his job… in which case it makes perfect sense, and is actually kind of interesting. So, uh, never mind, I guess.
#14 by El Santo on February 26, 2010 - 8:15 am
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While we’re on the subject of character names, get a load of the guest list for Cromwell’s wedding: King Leonidas of Minoa, King Charles of the Franks, King Sancho of Valencia… I can’t remember which nation King Ludwig ruled, but I’m sure it contributed something to The Sword and the Sorcerer‘s stew of bizarre anachronisms. What’s interesting to me about all these Richards and Cromwells and Leonidates is that their total effect is the most truly Howardian feature of the film. In the original Conan stories, the political geography of the Hyborean Age includes obvious analogues to Old Kingdom Egypt (Stygia), King David’s Palestine (Shem), Ethiopia circa the 5th century BC (I forget what Howard called those people), the Viking raiders of the early Middle Ages (the Aesir), and even the Holy Roman Empire (Aquilonia– the country where Conan “makes himself king by his own hand”).
#15 by Anarquistador on February 26, 2010 - 1:25 pm
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I believe Howard’s equivalent of Ethiopia was Kush.
I always thought Aquilonia was meant to be more an analogue for medieval France than the Holy Roman Empire…but I they were both Frankish kingdoms anyway, so it’s kind of a toss-up.
A sword and sorcery movie starring Kevin Sorbo AND Christopher Lambert?! I had no idea of the void in my life until I realized I needed this to fill it..
#16 by rjschwarz on February 26, 2010 - 3:42 pm
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I loved Sword and Sorcerer. Hated the triple sword though.
#17 by Albert Pyun on February 27, 2010 - 11:11 pm
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Yeah, I’m afraid it is me. And When you see Tales in April (I know you will), you might see a certain hated sword…hmmm.
I hope Tales doesn’t disappoint. By the way, back in the early 90’s I actually sat in John Milius’ office and traded sword and sorcery war stories. Very interesting and colorful man. far more than I. I sat a bit in awe and listen to his tales of yore.
There will be updates almost daily on my blog at http://www.albertpyunmovies.com about Tales’ progress and screenings around the country.
and thanks supersonic for the kind mention of Dangerously Close.
Albert
#18 by supersonic on February 27, 2010 - 11:25 pm
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The only reason I saw Dangerously Close is because a cousin of mine, Tony Kienitz, had a bit part in it. His face is also visible in Down Twisted, your other Carey Lowell movie.
Other than those, I’ve only seen Omega Doom and Captain America.
#19 by lyzard on February 28, 2010 - 12:12 am
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Oh, Supes, you piker! 🙂
Let’s see… I have seen and reviewed Captain America, Cyborg and Omega Doom, but all three of those pieces are currently MIA and need to be recovered. I’ve also seen Alien From L.A., Journey To The Center Of The Earth, Knights, Dollman, Hong Kong ’97 , Mean Guns, Sorcerers, Ticker and Max Havoc.
C’mon, guys – anyone do better??
I figured that the sword in TSATS was designed primarily to make eleven-year-old boys yell, “COOL!!” Anyway, we certainly couldn’t have Tales without it.
#20 by Mr. Rational on March 1, 2010 - 10:54 am
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I can’t do you better, but I can come close. I’ve seen everything on your list except Captain America, Hong Kong ’97, Max Havoc, and Ticker. (blinks) Now that I think about it, what am I doing with my life?
#21 by Albert Pyun on February 28, 2010 - 4:41 pm
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Well, Supersonic, I can’t think of a better reason to watch Dangerously Close. Tony was great. He was quite a character and had a very inventive mind. I think one of my favorite things with Tony was a reshoot for Radioactive Dreams where I added a framing device for the film. It was never used because my director’s cut was rejected but Tony was great and please pass along a Hello for me next time you talk to him.
Albert
http://www.albertpyunmovies.com
#22 by supersonic on March 5, 2010 - 1:34 pm
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That’s him, all right. I’m kind of surprised that you remember him so well, given how tiny his onscreen time is. But in another way, it’s not surprising, because he’s not a forgettable guy.
Did you know that he now has a book out about organic vegetable gardening, and has found a niche as an “edible landscape designer” to the stars?
#23 by El Santo on March 1, 2010 - 7:51 am
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“I figured that the sword in TSATS was designed primarily to make eleven-year-old boys yell, ‘COOL!!’ ”
That was certainly the effect it had on me. I was more like nine, though, when I first saw Talon’s amazing Swiss Army magic sword.
#24 by lyzard on March 1, 2010 - 5:06 pm
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Yes, I accept that as a *coughcoughcough*-year-old woman, I wasn’t exactly the target audience. 🙂
#25 by The Rev. D.D. on March 1, 2010 - 9:44 pm
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I can’t quite match Ms. Kingsley…but not a bad effort:
The Sword and the Sorceror
Alien from L.A.
Cyborg
Dollman
Nemesis
Brainsmasher: A Love Story
Arcade
Heatseeker
Blast
Mean Guns
I didn’t know/forgot that Alien from L.A. and Dollman were his.
I was too old when I first saw it to be all “oooo-aaah” about the sword. Although I did appreciate the originality, I was too busy trying thinking about how clumsy such a weapon would be, where he gets his replacements blades, etc. Ah well.
#26 by The Rev. D.D. on March 1, 2010 - 9:46 pm
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I have no idea what I did to my tag around Dollman there. Sweet mercy. I can reply/quote, but I don’t seem to be able to edit. (I imagine the Overlords are the only ones that can do that.)
#27 by The Rev. D.D. on March 2, 2010 - 7:55 am
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Thank you, Overlords! *geneflucts*
#28 by Cabal on March 9, 2010 - 1:04 pm
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*delurks*
Quick confession: years ago, after a “fighting for film” class I was teaching, I spent what felt like a solid hour explaining to an eager young man exactly why a triple-bladed sword wouldn’t really work very well (just the blade arrangement, mind you; the sword-jectiles and the blade-within-a-blade were off the table!). I felt almost bad about it; he wanted sooooo badly for something That Cool to be real! In the years since, when in a puckish frame of mind, I’ve occasionally toyed with whether it might be possible to create a more practical version of the idea…
#29 by lyzard on March 9, 2010 - 3:07 pm
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What I love best about that sword is the very, very careful way that Talon carries it around balanced at 45 degrees. It is wonderfully obvious that if he held it forward a bit more, or back a bit more, he’d end up losing a foot or a shoulder.
#30 by Cabal on March 10, 2010 - 11:15 am
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Eminently sensible! Ah, but what are such small concerns as practicality, stability or tensile strength against the boundless power of imagination? *G* Loony it is, but the triple-bladed sword certainly is memorable! I’d gladly take it over, say, the switchblade-starfish from “Krull”, or “Excalibur”‘s weird disc-and-pointy-stick contrivances.
(Given my druthers, though, gimme the beee-yootiful two-hander Rutger Hauer used in “Ladyhawke”. Now that was a proper sword!)
#31 by lyzard on March 16, 2010 - 5:14 pm
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This seemed the most appropriate place…
I watched Lone Wolf McQuade for the first time the other night, and had a good guffaw over the following, tucked away in the end credits:
Spiritual advisor…John Milius
#32 by Cabal on March 17, 2010 - 8:12 am
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*G* Does “shoot ’em all and let God sort ’em out” count as spiritual advice?
#33 by Ed on March 17, 2010 - 8:52 am
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Type your comment here
Glad to see I’m not the only person who cracks up over that film.
Cabal: If your name is either John Milius or Chuck Norris, I’d say yes. Scarily enough, it does.
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