THE EDUCATIONAL ARCHIVES: SEX & DRUGS
“The Educational Archives” is an entertainment goldmine filled with old classroom training films. This particular assortment contains an Italian man who canna have no bambino until he gets his syphilis fixed, a girl whose LSD trip results in a talking hot dog, and sanitary napkins so large that only three of them fit into a shoebox.
Lesson Learned:
Using a table saw while you are high on pot is a BAD IDEA.
#1 by El Santo on April 12, 2010 - 7:14 am
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“Since when is kitty coitus the best way to teach an eight-year-old about human sexuality?”
Well, it’ll certainly give the kid a head start on figuring out S&M, what with the barbed penises and all…
#2 by GalaxyJane on April 12, 2010 - 10:46 am
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Sadly, the menstruation one was still being shown where/when I was growing up in the early 80s. The thing about being able to wash your hair while on your period has stuck in my head for years for sheer weirdness. Also the stupid stretching exercises she does to make her cramps go away. And no, they didn’t work worth a damn.
#3 by Naomi on April 12, 2010 - 6:35 pm
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They were still showing it to 6th-graders in the backwoods part of Northern California in 1995. The school nurse kept fast-forwarding parts of it and pausing during other parts to explain how technology had advanced in the intervening years (also, horror stories about the days of the garter belt). We ended up getting most of our information from an ad-heavy booklet published by the Kimberly Clark corporation.
#4 by GalaxyJane on April 12, 2010 - 11:36 pm
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Fast-forward? What strange new technology was that? We had to watch it on Super 8, with someone siting next to the projector, ready to push the little lever whenever the film got off-track… 🙂
Yeah, those booklets were a big part of our “education” too. Good to know that a large chunk of the sex ed our daughters’ get is really just advertising in hopes of keeping their brand loyalty later.
#5 by El Santo on April 13, 2010 - 6:36 am
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Geez, Super-8? We at least had 16mm projectors in Maryland’s Anne Arundel County in the 80’s.
#6 by Andrew on April 13, 2010 - 7:57 am
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“It’s Wonderful Being a Girl” was funded by Modess, the huge sanitary napkins that I mentioned.
Katie and I recently ran across another men-strew-a-tion educational film that was from England, and it appeared to be a government funded that didn’t push any specific product.
The English film was amusing because it constantly warned girls about doing something that might “give them a chill.” It also showed the young woman going to a sanitary napkin shop, so that she could pick out the right size and have them wrapped in wax paper for when she needed them.
Easily the most disturbing thing about Winston Churchill’s guide to menstruation was that it advised the girls to destroy their used napkins by tossing them into the living room fireplace. Egad!
#7 by GalaxyJane on April 13, 2010 - 2:08 pm
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Andrew, I always wondered if that was supposed to be whatever disgusting thing the girls threw into the classroom stove in “To Sir, With Love”. Your story makes that seem a lot more likely.
My son’s elementary school was built just long enough ago that there are still nickel Modess machines (empty, obviously) on the wall in the women’s toilet, for some reason that amuses me. I have no idea why.
El Santo, it may have been 16 mm come to think on it, but we always were a little behind over on the other side of the Potomac.