Scientists create great white sharks that obey basic FORTRAN commands, such as GOTO, EAT, and NO EAT. Of course, the sharks escape and get stuck in EAT mode.

Review Snippet:
“A shark is our best defense against a terrorist with an atomic bomb? Won’t the nuke be in a boat? Are they expecting some radical Islamist to swim from Afghanistan to California with an atomic suicide vest?”

Lesson Learned:
A box truck can out-accelerate a Saab 900.