That’ll have to wait ’til next time.  Until then, you may busy yourselves reading about:

Conan the Destroyer (1984), in which the franchise that started it all decides that things like quality and ambition just aren’t worth the trouble…

The Good Son (1993), in which that kid from Home Alone takes his game up a couple of notches…

The Phantom Planet (1961), in which a really boring American astronaut finds himself boringly stranded on a boring planet whose boring people are at boring war with crummy rubber monsters who thankfully are not boring…


The Stepford Wives (1975), in which the masterminds of a conspiracy to create the perfect woman suffer from a truly astonishing lack of imagination.

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