That’s how we feel about Jet Li in…
| WARLORDS
If you ever wondered what Jet Li would look like as a giant armored pine cone, this is the movie for you. Warlords doesn’t do anything particularly ground-breaking, but what it does do, it does very well. The three leads are at the top of their game, and it’s nice to see Jet Li finally allowed to act again. Li has often been impressive, but rarely scary. This movie changes that, even as it clads him in a suit of armor I don’t doubt is historically accurate but looks ridiculous never the less. |
 |
We also just started posting new, shorter reviews on Facebook. Those of you who have no interest in such sites can still check out the reviews, though…
| BAD BLOOD
Director Denis Law seems committed to returning the Hong Kong martial arts movie to the glory days of when they had awesome stunt and fight choreography and were terrible in just every other way, but we forgave them because of the action scenes (or did you watch Iron Angels for the writing?). Bad Blood is the perfect example of Law’s approach to film making. The story is the sort of ridiculous, convoluted, half-assed sort of affair you’d expect from an early 90s actioner. It also stars Simon Yam as a guy named Funky, and that counts for a lot. Unfortunately, his wardrobe is subdued. My feeling is that if you are going to cast Simon Yam as a guy named Funky, then he should be sporting the insane sort of crap that he was wearing in Looking for Mr. Perfect. |
 |
| TEKKEN
Years ago, Hong Kong made a Tekken movie, but they forgot to secure the rights to actually make a Tekken movie, so it eventually became Avenging Fist, and no one really cared. About the only thing anyone remembers is that Ekin Cheng eventually turns into Sammo Hung. So anyway, fast forward to today, and now someone who bothered to secure the rights to the Tekken name, years after I think the world stopped giving a crap about Tekken, has finally made a Tekken movie called Tekken. |
 |
#1 by Blake on September 23, 2010 - 5:23 am
Quote
I enjoyed “The Warlords” on account of the action and good acting turn from Jet Li. It’s a bit bleak for my tastes, even by the standards of recent Jade Screen historical epics. But it’s a quality film all around.
I can’t wait to see “Bad Blood” and “Tekken” (and “King of Fighters” as well).
#2 by KeithA on September 23, 2010 - 10:22 am
Quote
It is pretty bleak, isn’t it? It seemed less so when it was David Chiang and Ti Lung. Probably because Chang Cheh didn’t film in”washed out mud-o-vision.”
King of Fighters is on the list to watch in the next couple days. I was going to watch last night, but I ended up going with Neil Marshall’s “Centurion” instead. In terms of films that really exploit the “orange/blue” color wheel contrast, Centurion may be king.
KOF has Bernice Liu in it. I doubt she’ll be any more convincing in the hands of Gordon Chan.
#3 by Blake on September 23, 2010 - 10:59 am
Quote
Gordon Chan is such an inconsistent director. On one hand he did “Fist of Legend” and “Beast Cops” (IIRC), which everyone loves. On the other, he did “The Medallion”, “Thunderbolt”, and “Painted Skin”, which were not very good films (at least “Thunderbolt” had the superior pachinko parlour fight).
Sorry Bernice Liu, but every time I see your name, I think of the Chinese version of that old, wacky lady from “Designing Women” (what?). Hmm…Having that actress in a movie would probably be more entertaining than Bernice Liu, from the looks of things.
#4 by KeithA on September 23, 2010 - 11:47 am
Quote
I like the Chinese tendency to pick English names tat have fallen out of favor with most Americans. It gives me hope for a Beauregarde Chan.
I agree — Gordon Chan’s track record is such that I can neither look forward to nor dismiss a project involving him. I was with Thunderbolt up until the ludicrous Benny Hill speed final race.
Next up for Chinese epics — I have four to choose from. Mulan, True Legend, Battle of Wits, and The Empress and the Warriors. I hear Battle of Wits is supposed to be really good, but I’ll probably go with True Legend, because 1) it has Jiang Luxia in it, and 2) it has one of those 80s-style scenes where a dude yells and flexes, causing his shirt to explode and fly off him.
#5 by Blake on September 23, 2010 - 11:54 am
Quote
Battle of Wits is a better historical drama than a battle film (Stephen Tung Wei’s nomination for Best Action Design notwithstanding). It’s one of the few films that deals with Mohism, though, so it’s unique in that regard.
I enjoyed “The Empress and the Warriors”, which straddles the line between epic battle movie and the wire-fu stuff Ching Siu-Tung did in the early 1990s. Plus I like Donnie Yen.
I can’t wait to see “True Legend”.
I actually liked Thunderbolt, but have no qualms with anyone else dismissing it should they want to.
#6 by Blake on September 23, 2010 - 11:56 am
Quote
Oh, and on the subject of out-of-favor names, the hot fighting female in everybody’s favorite “Young Taoism Fighter” is Hilda Liu. When was the last time you associated the name Hilda with a cute, spunky female fighter?
#7 by El Santo on September 23, 2010 - 1:26 pm
Quote
“Tekken” means “clenched fist,” you know. Are we really asked to believe that the people in this world were the tiniest bit surprised when a company called Clenched Fist Inc. turned out to be evil?
#8 by Blake on September 23, 2010 - 1:42 pm
Quote
With regards to the Terrifying Pinecone, I believe Stephen Chow wore a similar get-up in “Royal Tramp II”. He complained about walking around wearing a hat/helmet that made him look like he had an arrow stuck in his head. Komedy! But the scene did lead to a swordfight with Michelle Reis, so no complaining there.
#9 by KeithA on September 23, 2010 - 3:57 pm
Quote
When Google threw down against China, I thought it was the true dawn of the cyberpunk “mega corporations vs. nation states” future. I am, however, still waiting for Google to unveil their team of exotic martial artists who will fight in a globally televised tournament on a floating platform in international waters.
Also, evil mastermind (as seen in that new movie) Mark Zuckerberg should have spent that $100 million he just gave to the NJ school system on a sprawling island fortress with an army of karate killers.