When I agreed to come out of retirement to take part in the Secret Santa roundtable, little did I know I was giving Ken Begg a golden opportunity to continue his jihad against my sanity. The latest bunker buster to be employed against the bastions of my beleaguered brain: director Jerry Warren’s swan song, Frankenstein Island (1981). Bikini cavegirls, alien civilizations and ski cap-wearing zombies somehow figure into the master plan of Dr. Frankenstein (skillfully portrayed by the Disembodied Floating Head of John Carradine). Is it better than Teenage Zombies? Yes. Is it better than Wild World of Batwoman? Certainly. Is it better than oral surgery without anesthesia? Debatable. Extremely debatable.
FROM THE VAULT
- Hydeing in plain sight — posted by lyzard on February 28, 2015
- Picking at My Scabs — posted by KeithA on December 21, 2009
- Once More to the Lake — posted by KeithA on August 24, 2009
- So Sari — posted by KeithA on June 4, 2008
- The Bionic Boy Meets Cleopatra Wong — posted by KeithA on September 18, 2009
Pages
- About the Cabal
- Full Index of Reviews
- Roundtables
- 01: Brainathon ’99
- 02: Bangs'n'Whimpers
- 03: Post-Apocalypso
- 04: Review All Monsters
- 05: Pretty Mad Scientists
- 06: Tainted Love
- 07: Days of Future Past
- 08: Secret Santa
- 09: Catch a Throwing Star
- 10: Four-Color Features
- 11: Big Bugs
- 12: Fish With Bicycles
- 13: Go Go Go-Go Boys!
- 14: paLe IMITATIONS
- 15: We're Gonna Need a Bigger Roundtable
- 16: Whoa… Deja Vu.
- 17: Month of the Living Dead
- 18: B-Masters Beach Party
- 19: Kinji Fukasaku – The Man No Genre Could Tame.
- 20: Home Video Holocaust – The Video Nasties
- 21: Father Dearest: Who's Your Daddy?
- 22: So Sorry…
- 23: Back to the Well
- 24: Another Month of the Living Dead
- 25: The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back
- 26: Rubber Soul
- 27: Shhhhhh
- 28: Month of the Alternative Living Dead
- 29: On Time & Under Budget
- 30: These Kids Today…
- 31: Mea maxima culpa
- 32: Stingathon ’09
- 33: 10,000 B.S.
- 34: Foot Notes
- 35: Don’t Touch That Dial!
- 36: He Conquered the World
- 37: Secret Santa’s Revenge
- 38: At the Movies of Madness
- 39: They Might Be Giants
- 40: The Other Elizabeth Taylor
- 41: The Dark Guys of London
- 42: Falling Stars
- 43: To Be or Not To Be! (Pilot Error)
- 44: Teeth and Tentacles
- 45: Brunoween
- 46: Howl of the B-Masters
- 47: It’s Alive!
- 48: Bad, Black and Beautiful
- 49: Don’t Quit Your Day Job
- 50: B-Mentia 15
- 51: Quelle Horreur!
- 52: Carradine, Thou Wayward Son!
- 53: Tall, Dark and Gruesome
- 54: Pets Gone Wild
- 55: The Bad Place
- 56: From The Bible To Barbarella
- 57: A Fistful Of Pennies
- 58: Hello, Dolly
- 59: No, Not That One!
- 60: Dr Terror’s House Of Honours
- 61: WTF!?
- 62: In The Key Of B
- 63: The Forgotten Dawn Of Horror
- 64: The Most Dangerous Roundtable
- 65: Room For One More
- 66: Were-WHAT?
- 67: The China Anniversary Syndrome
- 68: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 2
- 69: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 3
- 70: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 4
- The Links We Love
#1 by Braineater on December 22, 2010 - 8:22 am
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“Being dead’s no problem… in fact, it’s an advantage!”
Hey! Jerry Warren’s Mission Statement! I’m sure the audience was in full agreement by this point.
#2 by Ken Begg on December 22, 2010 - 8:28 am
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Ah, that was enjoyable. But when did I become the B-Masters punching bag? It must be a Salieri(s) / Mozart thing.
#3 by drfreex on December 22, 2010 - 9:37 am
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The most remarkable thing is how warmly my bad movie group here speaks of Frankenstein Island. As threatened, I’m going to have to spring other Begg-isms on them. If I have to track down a copy of Jungle @#%ing Hell, I will. They will learn to fear your name, just as I have.
#4 by JessicaR on December 22, 2010 - 10:28 pm
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If you want to get a blood vendetta going against our Ken with your friends Sincerely Yours would do it nicely. Maybe even more than Sextette though that one is easier to find.
#5 by Ken Begg on December 22, 2010 - 10:03 am
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Well, surely Doomsday Machine should do it. Double Agent ’73? And really, I’m not *directly* responsible for Jungle Hell, it was shown at B-Fest one year.
Beware the official disc for Jungle Hell from the fine folks at VCI. It’s got all the elephant stuff you love, but lacks the UFO subplot. For that you’d need to go with Sinister Cinema. Not as good of a copy, but the film as you know and love it.
#6 by Baron Scarpia on December 22, 2010 - 12:05 pm
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Ooh, Doomsday Machine. A hot contender for the most boring film I’ve seen this year. I never thought the end of the world could be so dull.
#7 by Blake on December 22, 2010 - 10:35 am
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Dr. Freex, do you still scream and/or scream when you see elephants in a film? If so, I highly recommend KING BOXER (1972) with Meng Fei and Yasuaki Kurata.
#8 by Blake on December 22, 2010 - 10:35 am
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oops, second “scream” was supposed to be “squirm”.
#9 by drfreex on December 22, 2010 - 10:36 am
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Frankly, my friend, I fear for my own sanity if I watch Double Agent ’73 again. Or, at least, for my eyeballs, from all the clashing 70s decor and clothing. I’ve been threatening them with Sextette for a while now. They’re young punks, but of an age that they can appreciate the humiliation of Keith Moon and Alice Cooper. Yet I think the next thing they’ll sample will be The Stabilizer.
And you knew enough about Jungle Hell to sleep through it, and that makes you a collaborator. (Jungle Hell without the UFO? INCONTHEEVABLE!)
#10 by drfreex on December 22, 2010 - 10:49 am
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Blake, I got fifteen minutes into King Boxer. I think I switched it off more due the fact that I thought I was getting the Lo Lieh movie of the same name, which became FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH in America.
The JUNGLE HELL episode was more of a combination of THE SAME. DAMNED. FOOTAGE. OVER. AND OVER. AGAIN. Low blood sugar, exhaustion, and the horrifying knowledge that I was locked in with that movie. I may have had an acid flashback. Who knows. Anyway, I have since been able to enjoy many Thai movies featuring elephants, and can now watch Dumbo with only minor tremors.
#11 by Blake on December 22, 2010 - 10:53 am
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I have a review of it at my site. It starts out reminding one a little of THE BIG BOSS, but with badly photographed muay thai scenes. It then becomes a rip-off of FIST OF FURY while finding time to rip off VENGEANCE! as well.
#12 by supersonic on December 23, 2010 - 12:50 pm
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Judging by that clip, the forties-style library music is that film’s sole source of drama and excitement.