I know I’m not the only one around here who was a big fan of David Thomas’ cult film review site STEAMED PRAWN BUNS, and I know I’m not the only one who has been lamenting its passing. Well, after an exchange of bribes, some kidnapping, blackmail, and a shootout that took place over a series of rooftops and terraced trails lined with lemon trees and olives in Cinque Terre, Italy, Dave has been kind enough to let Teleport City give his reviews a new home.
Starting…NOW…we’ll be reposting Dave’s reviews at Teleport City, with they’re very own Steamed Prawn Buns tag so you can dig them all up as they appear. I’m pretty psyched that he’s letting us do this, and hell…maybe we’ll even sneak a new review or two out of him if he isn’t too busy with the Royal Wedding.
There is much discussion among film aficionados as to what is the worst videogame to movie adaptation. For some, it’s the unloved sequel Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Others speak of the searing pain of Super Mario Brothers. Based on the poor box office and critical brickbats that came its way, 2002′s Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever seemed determined to give them all a run for their money. Given that the movie is based on of all things a Gameboy game, it was obvious from the get-go that the screenwriters were going to have to create the plot from scratch. What they came up with was the old ‘rogue agent gone bad, burned-out agent reluctantly returns to track her down’ chestnut, but were able to add a few utterly baffling twists of their own.
And while we’re at it, here’s a couple more recent offerings of our own:
The Balearic Caper
I wanted to like The Balearic Caper, after all, on the surface it appears to be the type of film I should readily enjoy – a spy caper hybrid, with a great cast, with not only the aforementioned Bond stars, but also Mireille Darc, who looks good in any film. Oh, and Marilu Tolo too, who starred in a swag of European genre films. But I must admit I struggle with broad Italian comedy, and while The Balearic Caper doesn’t dive to the excessive and ponderous depths of a Franco and Ciccio film, it still grates instead of amuses.
Lupin III: Elusiveness of the Fog
I’ve always preferred Lupin’s slightly more grounded in reality exploits. Granted, we’re talking relative frames of reference here, but at the core of things, I like Lupin and his crew matching wits against their foes and pulling heists in a world that seems at least vaguely familiar. Elusiveness of the Fog, however, puts an entirely scifi/fantasy twist on the Lupin formula and gives us a goofy, breezy time travel adventure that manages to be disposably entertaining without being all that good.
#1 by The Rev. on December 15, 2010 - 12:02 pm
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I do not claim to be an expert, but my understanding is that the first game (called just “Ecks vs. Sever”) was based on an early draft of the script, but was released before the movie was done and the script had been rewritten and finalized. A sequel to the first game, called “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever,” was later released; because it came out after the movie, it was closer to the movie in terms of plot than the first.
Oddly enough, “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” the video game got a lot of positive feedback and was generally considered quite good. I believe the first game was well-received as well. I haven’t played either, but we do have a Game Boy Advance, so maybe I should hunt them up, play them, and then watch the movie.
#2 by PB210 on December 15, 2010 - 5:26 pm
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Lupin review note:
“It’s sort of like Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, where they go back in time to erase Godzilla from existence by preventing him from ever being created, then everyone in the present sits around and reminisces about how Godzilla has now never existed”.
This film [1995’s Godzilla vs. Destroyah] makes it clear that the Gojirasaurus that attacked Japan in 1954 did indeed die. Characters refer to the destruction of the original Gojira by the oxygen destroyer. As indicated by Doctor Yamane’s speech at the end of the first film (where he surmised that other members of the gojirasaurus’ species may have survived on isolated islands, similar to the later DC series “Dinosaur Island”), continued atomic testing mutated such another member of the species, and this specimen attacked Japan in 1984 in Godzilla 1985: The Legend Is Reborn (1984). Therefore, this explains why the events of the original Godzilla film (Godzilla (1954)) remained part of the time line despite Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (1991). (In that film, time travelers attempted to meddle with history to prevent the origin of Gojira. Since the gojirasaurus that attacked Japan in 1954 represented a different specimen than the one that attacked Japan in 1984, the actions of the time travelers in that film did not affect the origin of that Godzilla.)
#3 by Tom Meade on December 16, 2010 - 3:57 am
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Reasonably confident that Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever is the most tedious load of drivel I’ve ever seen. Even worse than that movie where Roddie McDowell is an alien in control of a lame Predator knock-off. And yet, if I owned a copy, I’d probably watch it now. Even if I weren’t drunk.
Of all the movies starring Lucy Liu in a body suit, I’m still pretty sure thar Cypher is the best.
#4 by El Santo on December 16, 2010 - 8:40 am
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I don’t know, PB. I personally wouldn’t describe Godzilla vs. Destroyer as making anything clear. Besides, there was no such thing as Godzilla vs. Destroyer when Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah was made, so not even the most charitable interpretation of the later movie can absolve the earlier one’s writers of believing that their script made some kind of sense.
#5 by The Rev. on December 16, 2010 - 9:34 am
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I neglected to mention that I’m pretty excited about the SPB reviews coming over to TC. I found that site after it’d already died out, and enjoyed the reviews. Plus it turned me on to Heroes of the East, a purchase I do not at all regret, so I owe the reviewer a sake or something should I ever meet him.
#6 by KeithA on December 16, 2010 - 11:19 am
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Well, given the time travel shenanigans of G vs. King G, I think we can say that a movie that wouldn’t come until years in the future could contain incidents that made things that happen in the past possible. Or…you know what? Lyle Swan was his own great grandfather or something.
I’m super psyched that Dave T is letting us repost his stuff, if for no other reason than it finally allows us to rectify the sickening lack of Cynthia Rothrock on Teleport City.
#7 by PB210 on December 17, 2010 - 5:32 pm
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Doctor Yamane’s speech at the end of the first film (i.e. 1954’s Gojira) surmised that other members of the gojirasaurus’ species may have survived on isolated islands. So, they should have had a scene in G vs KG where someone said “Oh wait, I remember reading in a dossier that Doctor Yamane prepared that he suggested the immediate implementation of an early warning system, since he warned that continued atomic testing could eventually produce another Gojira. [Insert archive footage of Yamane from the end of Gojira saying this sentence.] So, the Godzilla who attacked Japan in 1954 did die and nuclear activity in the North Pacific produced the Godzilla who attacked Tokyo in 1984.”
I know that the Saw series has made us weary of later entries in a film series addressing plot problems in previous entries. I suppose we could give a pass to strictly planned trilogies and so forth.
#8 by PB210 on December 18, 2010 - 1:03 pm
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Vis a vis Lupin, LeBlanc’s original Lupin sometimes had paranormal adventures (including a meteor with mutagenetic properties in L’Île aux trente cercueils by Maurice LeBlanc), so that Lupin III had paranormal adventures seems not unprecedented.
I suppose it remains a constant tug of war, whether to keep a series grounded or not. Many people, for example, much preferred the early Green Hornet episodes to the later ones, since the early ones stayed true to the radio show by keeping it grounded and more of a hard-boiled private eye type story. Of course, in the last twenty years, private eye movies have lost ground to boy wizards, so increasingly adventure films have grown less grounded.