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On the sixth day of Christmas, Keith Allison gave to me—

ESCAPE FROM GALAXY 3 (1981)

…and I don’t forgive him, even if that does rhyme rather nicely.

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Hey, you know what? This entire project has been an exercise in how some people just cannot take a hint. Reviewing this was comparatively easy; comparatively. Getting to review it was something else, a process encompassing the mysterious transfer of the wrong file, a corrupt file, a file that took six hours to download, a computer that refused to play the downloaded file despite its declared compatibility, more downloading, suddenly corrupt add-ons that stopped Internet Explorer opening, a computer that refused to acknowledge it held a disc and therefore refused to eject it until rebooted, a playback program that gave me sound but no picture, and a different playback program that kept hiding its control functions and also refusing to bring them back without rebooting. Oh, and just now, while I was drafting this, WordPress refused to let me insert a link, and I had to do a crash-course in HTML to make it go in.

There is scarcely anything more than Keith’s and my collective technology could have done to warn me off this movie, short of suddenly fusing together like a transformer, taking on human form, and shaking me violently by the shoulders while screaming, “DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM, YOU SILLY COW!!!!” into my face. But did I listen? Noooooooo…

[Some partial nudity in screenshots, so probably NSFW.]



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