KHOONI DRACULA

Khooni Dracula lands closer to Gumnam Qatil than it does Shaitani Dracula, only even less so, but honestly — that a director can only achieve the rarefied airs of Shaitani Dracula once in a lifetime is understandable. And not being as loony as that — merely being as loony as Gumnam Qatil — still means you have a movie of staggering awfulness, featuring a black-robed Dracula in a cheap fright mask and stylish white loafers wandering around, menacing seemingly random chunky chicks taking showers while wearing their lycra shorts. From time to time, Dracula augments his style with an ill-fitting, comically oversized stovepipe hat that looks like it was stolen out of the trash can behind Coffin Joe’s mansion, or crypt, or whatever the hell it is Coffin Joe lives in. I actually assume he lives in a stylish-yet-garishly appointed home not unlike one might find in a Jess Franco film, only with more furniture fashioned out of coffins. Harinam Singh used to come over all the time to watch Coffin Joe put toads and spiders on women’s bare breasts, while Franco himself lead the jazz combo in the corner. Or so I imagine.

AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION

American Ninja 2: The Confrontation is something of an improvement over part one. There’s very little time during the movie where somebody isn’t fighting ninjas – not much Golan-Globus approved filler here! And the fighting is rather better too. Apart from the early scene on the beach, even Michael Dudikoff manages to throw a few cool moves. I wonder if the beach fight was early in the production and he managed to pick up some skills as filming progressed. Steve James is, if anything, even more bad-ass than in the first movie. He thankfully gets more screen time here, and with that more fighting. He looks damn impressive on the beach as he kills ninjas just by looking at them.



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