This installment of “Gives Me Chills” (and no, I never knew that this would be a continuing series when I started) is kind of special. I know that the movie in question has been floating around for at least two or three years, looking for distribution. You can kinda tell, too; the subject matter is something that was all over the news several crises ago, and then was dropped by the ADHD-afflicted mainstream media when a new apocalyptically-overkilled potential catastrophe overtook and almost-but-didn’t-quite killed us all.
Anyway. I saw this bandied about on industry messageboards for a couple of years, always a laughingstock, and always with some lame key art. I had hoped that, if ever it got a for-real distributor, they’d find some way to market it better.
They didn’t.
#1 by Read MacGuirtose on February 22, 2011 - 8:27 pm
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The Birdemic poster is nothing compared to its old trailer, though. (It starts out with a full minute of pointless scenery shots, but stick around; it gets better. Or, you know, just skip ahead to the one minute mark.)
(I say “old trailer” because the producer has since come out with different trailers that are marginally less incompetent and, alas, far less amusing.)
Disturbingly, the casting websites have for the last several months periodically contained casting notices for… Birdemic II. Or, more specifically, BIRDEMIC II – The Resurrection 3D. Here’s some of the info from the casting notices:
#2 by Read MacGuirtose on February 22, 2011 - 8:29 pm
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D’oh! I’d meant to make the words “old trailer” a link to said trailer but, uh, apparently forgot to do so. Here you go.
#3 by Nathan Shumate on February 22, 2011 - 9:30 pm
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Holy moley. I’ve got a Christmas “logs burning on the fire” DVD that’s more action-packed than that trailer.
#4 by MatthewF on February 23, 2011 - 7:39 am
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Birdemic is a classic example of all publicity being good publicity. All those media outlets mentioned it just to make fun, but so what? It didn’t do the producers any harm.
#5 by Nathan Shumate on February 23, 2011 - 8:08 am
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But what if the director actually thinks that means that it’s good? He’ll be in for a disappointment upon the release of Birdemic 2: The Droppings.
#6 by MatthewF on February 24, 2011 - 8:33 am
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Good? Popular? Notorious? There’s a difference?
#7 by Nathan Shumate on February 24, 2011 - 9:32 am
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As a wise man once said, “Everyone will go to see performing midgets. Once.”
[Andrew Borntreger excepted, of course.]
#8 by Ed on February 22, 2011 - 10:00 pm
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I saw this in the video store I frequent. It may end up being rented, though I’m going to look for at least two quality movies to go along with.
#9 by Nathan Shumate on February 22, 2011 - 10:56 pm
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The good news is that, compared to this, just about anything qualifies as a “quality movie.”
#10 by The Rev. on February 23, 2011 - 9:54 am
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To this day, I am saddened and angered by the fact that I wasn’t able to attend the screening of this that they had in Dallas last year. That original trailer is priceless. One of my friends, who’s not into our types of movies, watched the trailer with me and said, in an incredulous voice, “That’s a joke, right? That can’t be serious.”
Joke’s on the whole world, because indeed they are.
The truly sad thing is, that poster has better effects than the movie itself.
#11 by supersonic on February 23, 2011 - 12:42 pm
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That’s the first time I’ve ever seen a bald eagle in a croud of 29 turkey vultures.
#12 by Richard on February 23, 2011 - 3:17 pm
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I’m thinking of a possible contest…
Can the Cabal and its supporters produce better artwork for the “Gives Me Chills” videos?
#13 by Nathan Shumate on February 23, 2011 - 3:21 pm
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Not exactly shooting for the moon there. A simple black background with white Verdana lettering would be better in some of these cases.
#14 by Read MacGuirtose on February 23, 2011 - 6:29 pm
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I think a more apt challenge might be: Can a drunk orangutan, armed only with a purple magic marker, produce better artwork for the “Gives Me Chills” videos?
Well, okay, probably not; I’m exaggerating a little here. But a random six-year old with a purple magic marker might have a shot at it.
#15 by Nathan Shumate on February 23, 2011 - 6:43 pm
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I must admit, the design contest idea is growing on me. Allow me to mull.
#16 by Braineater on February 24, 2011 - 12:44 pm
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Aww, that’s no fun. But to do something AS BAD AS the original:
http://www.braineater.com/birdemic_iii.jpg
… or WORSE THAN the original:
http://www.braineater.com/birdemic-iv.jpg
Now that’s more my speed.
#17 by Nathan Shumate on February 24, 2011 - 12:48 pm
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See, I think those are both better than the original.
#18 by Braineater on February 24, 2011 - 12:59 pm
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(Sniff) Then I has failed.
#19 by Nathan Shumate on February 24, 2011 - 2:20 pm
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It’s a good thing to fail at.
#20 by Read MacGuirtose on February 26, 2011 - 8:04 pm
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See, you’re using some actual skill to put those together, and maybe even a modicum of effort, which is far more than the makers of the original artwork bothered with.
Here, on the other hand, is something I scrawled in a few minutes while sitting on a bus:
http://www.readmacguirtose.com/misc/birdemic-v.png
#21 by T.C. on February 23, 2011 - 3:49 pm
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I’m going to start using the word “birdemic” in everyday conversation.
#22 by Nathan Shumate on February 23, 2011 - 3:52 pm
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That would be totally Airwolf.
#23 by The Rev. on February 23, 2011 - 6:26 pm
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You, sir, are just full-out Supermonsters.
#24 by T.C. on February 24, 2011 - 10:42 am
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After some thought, using “birdemic” might make me sound kind of Ator.
#25 by David Thiel on February 25, 2011 - 7:41 pm
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I was lucky enough to be in Dallas on a business trip when “Birdemic” was playing at the Alamo Ritz Drafthouse. It was wonderful, by which I mean terrible. I reviewed it here: http://www.thiel-a-vision.com/?p=3811
#26 by Nathan Shumate on February 25, 2011 - 10:23 pm
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Wunderbar!
#27 by David thiel on February 26, 2011 - 9:05 am
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Apparently, “Birdemic” was just released on DVD! Last night’s episode of “The Soup” (a weekly pop-culture clipfest on the E! Cable channel) featured it as their “Clip of the Week!” Specifically, they featured the infamous boardroom scene. “The Soup” is repeated frequently throughout the week, if you want to see their take on “Birdemic.”
#28 by Braineater on February 26, 2011 - 2:37 pm
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There’s a Rifftrax, too, apparently.