…or at least, you probably shouldn’t.
Not if “home” is a small town.
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This Roundtable has been a good excuse to give a couple of older reviews a makeover:
[NB: No nudity, but possibly NSFW anyway. {You heard me: two slasher films with no nudity. What is the world coming to..?}]
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Twenty-one years after a mining disaster, and twenty years after the sole survivor of that disaster went on a murderous rampage, the small town of Valentine Bluffs decides to revive its annual Valentine’s Day Dance, not held since the time of the tragedy.
Big mistake…
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I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997)
A year after their attempt to cover up hitting someone with their car turns into murder, four friends reunite in the small town of Southport, North Carolina.
Big mistake…
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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!
#1 by B. Wood on November 23, 2014 - 3:08 pm
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IKWYDLS did inspire some of the best Jokes in the first Scary movie, so there is that.
Though any movie that has a title that long is in trouble right from the start.
#2 by lyzard on November 23, 2014 - 6:10 pm
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Oh, boy – talk about damned with faint praise. 🙂
I’ve always had a sneaking liking for The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade.
#3 by Alaric on November 23, 2014 - 7:32 pm
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I’ve never seen The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade, either the play or the film, but my father used to frequently listen to songs from the play, which I always enjoyed.
You B-Masters frequently surprise me with sudden waves of unexpected nostalgia about things I wasn’t expecting. A few months ago, Teleport City surprised me with a discussion of the Punk movement in New York in the ’70s, which my brother was involved with, now this…
#4 by lyzard on November 24, 2014 - 5:38 pm
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I find that the subsequent direction of the slasher film retrospectively softens your reaction towards the early ones. Heck, even the first few F:13 films weren’t looking so bad by the end of the franchise. 🙂
#5 by RogerBW on November 24, 2014 - 5:17 am
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I do have a soft spot for horror films that try to make sense (even the much-despised Leviathan), and it sounds as if at least the first half of My Bloody Valentine fits that description. Cancel the dance? Unheard-of!
#6 by B. Wood on November 24, 2014 - 7:16 am
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Leviathan is one of those movies I always caught bits and snippits of, but never the whole movie. Still I did once see the last five minutes, so I got to see the monster, and mostly that’s what I wanted. I do have to wonder about the sort of thinking that makes you think drinking vodka from a creepy shipwreck is a good idea.
On of these days some mayor is going to realize that a shark eating the attendees at the harbor festival is worse than missing it for a year. Then the Shark will be just as shocked as all of us.
#7 by lyzard on November 24, 2014 - 5:41 pm
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And hungry!
MBV mostly makes sense (except for the usual teleporting-killer cheating). Yes, the soon-to-be victims do something stupid, but it’s really the sheriff’s fault for not telling them the truth in the first place. At least this isn’t an example of “The killer’s on the other side of the lake – we’re perfectly safe here!”
#8 by Richard on November 26, 2014 - 9:22 am
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Wait a minute…. They made a movie version of Thomas Hobbes “Leviathan”? (grin)
#9 by ronald on November 24, 2014 - 12:40 pm
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“Does anyone in the nearby houses react? – they do not.”
Maybe Julie has a lifelong history of hysterical screaming and the population of Southport is used to it.
Besides, some people just don’t want to get involved…
#10 by lyzard on November 24, 2014 - 5:44 pm
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But you’d at least peek through the curtains, wouldn’t you?
And if these people had peeked through the curtains, they’d’ve seen – not just JJ screaming – but screaming while staring into the open boot of her car and then running away. And then what couldn’t be more than ten seconds later, they’d’ve seen a man pull up nearby, haul a dead body out of JJ’s car, catch and contain a case of live crabs, and then whip out a wet-and-dry vacuum cleaner and restore the boot to immaculate condition, before packing it all up in his vehicle and driving away.
All pretty boring, I agree. 🙂
#11 by RogerBW on November 25, 2014 - 6:12 am
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“Some psycho killers get Off-Screen Teleport and Detect Copulating Couple. I ended up with Control Crabs.”
#12 by ronald on November 25, 2014 - 2:08 pm
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“instead of the usual pack of moronic teenagers, its characters are adults, with adult concerns. (Granted, this doesn’t stop them doing something amazingly stupid.)”
When has being an adult EVER stopped anyone from doing something amazingly stupid?
The world is full of adults who make decisions so stupid that even teenagers from slasher films can only stare in disbelief. And teenagers in slasher films are inexperienced with the world and terrified for their lives, what’s everyone else’s excuse? 😉
#13 by ronald on November 25, 2014 - 2:19 pm
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Sorry, but as one more nitpick:
“a grim-visaged bartender going by the unlikely sobriquet of Happy”
It’s called “irony.” 😉
#14 by lyzard on November 25, 2014 - 7:03 pm
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One of course can be grim-visaged without actually being unhappy…
Trust me, I know. 🙂
#15 by lyzard on November 25, 2014 - 7:05 pm
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The difference is that with the adults you can see the thought process. Patty wants to get Sarah out of a horrible situation, but without breaking up the party. The rest follows step by step.
As for teenagers—well, it’s schoolies week here. ‘Nuff said.
#16 by Banjoman on November 25, 2014 - 5:41 pm
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Guys! Off-topic but holy crap guys!
This Jurassic World trailer?
Is it me, or is this an overt acknowledgement that what they’re making with these sequels are overgrown B-movies?
No pretense for getting back to the island this time. No missing parasailors. Nope, they’re just opening t̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶a̶c̶h̶e̶s̶ the park. Hell, the Jaws formula is even visually acknowledged with the dang shark in the trailer!
But wait! Greater number of people in harm’s way? Genetic hybrids? Perhaps even some kind of alliance with the beasts? This thing is a goldmine of grindhouse sequel tropes! But with a budget! Which, to my delight, was apparently none-too-wisely spent, as the effects on display don’t justify $150M.
Tell me I’m not the only one whose B-movie appetite started growling during that trailer.
#17 by ronald on November 26, 2014 - 3:20 pm
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>>>it’s schoolies week here. ‘Nuff said.
Well, uh, yes, if one knows what “schoolies week” means, then, yes, I suppose so.
(wikipedia run)
Oh, okay, I know what it means now. 🙂
Of course, the reason that slasher film teens tend to behave stupidly is that, for some reason, most makers of slasher films seem to think that their characters NEED to behave stupidly, like it’s literally a rule or something. I mean, imitation is one thing, but even the most notorious Italian ripoffs aren’t usually outright cookie-cutter copies of the “original” in the way that so many slasher films are.
As a result of this mindset, most slasher film makers apparently feel no need to give most of the characters any motivation for their actions beyond stupidity. Admittedly, this IS in fact the sole reason that many people in the world do *some* of the things that they do, but relatively few people are motivated by absolutely nothing else.
If I lived near a film studio that made slasher films, I’d make a point of stopping by and offering comments to the effect of, “Hey, you know, if instead of doing it THAT way, like so many other slasher films do, you did it THIS way instead, you might actually accomplish *groundbreaking*.”
I’d be more diplomatic than that, of course.
It’s kind of too bad that Godfrey Ho and company never (or rarely; I’m not recalling any examples) tried their hand at the slasher film. The teenagers are getting knocked off one by one and suddenly BAM they’re revealed to be Vampire NInja Power Rangers, risen from the grave! And the slasher turns into a gigantic…
#18 by B. Wood on November 26, 2014 - 11:01 pm
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Type your comment here
Or perhaps the killer and the audience aren’t the only ones who want these little brats dead?
#19 by ronald on November 27, 2014 - 11:33 am
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(I can’t possibly be the first one to have ever noticed this, but…)
Going on a tangent to slasher films in general:
What do these four slasher films have in common?
Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
Each one attempted some kind of “explanation” of its killer/killers:
Freddy is empowered by the Dream Demons.
Jason’s evil can travel from body to body via some kind of worm thing.
Leatherface’s family is part of the Illuminati’s plan to instill fear in the American population (OSLT), explaining why no one ever investigates the disappearances of so many people in a relatively small area.
Michael is empowered by the Cult of Thorn.
After so many years of inexplicability, the secrets stood revealed, one right after the other. Within a mere five year period.
It seems like there must be some deeper meaning or motivation to explain this but I have no idea what it might be.
#20 by kbegg on November 27, 2014 - 7:19 pm
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Just saw this (as I was writing the note before), and it’s weird because that idea, that horror sequels by their nature force the participants to engage in largely fruitless–if not actually harmful–backstory padding, is a major preoccupation of my Halloween piece and the articles to follow.
#21 by kbegg on November 27, 2014 - 7:16 pm
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Liz: Ha, I wrote the headline to my review post before I noticed the headline to yours! We’ll have to agree to disagree!
#22 by ronald on November 28, 2014 - 2:09 am
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The Image Comics title “Hack/Slash” developed a generic explanation for the typical “unstoppable” slasher. Quoting from Wikipedia (so, you know…):
“[Slashers] are people who died while filled with rage toward life, and somehow return from the dead filled with only that rage driving them to kill.”
This fits in with the way that the raison d’etre of many slashers is to avenge a real or imagined wrong in the past. They “died” obsessing over that, so when they “rise,” it’s ALL that they can think about.
#23 by ronald on November 30, 2014 - 2:19 pm
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Re the horror sequels, I was less commenting on fruitless/harmful backstories than just the seeming coincidence of so much of it hitting the screen in such a relatively short timespan.
If Dr. Loomis ever offered his own theory about why six-year-old Michael Myers inexplicably turned into Pure EEEEEEvil (it can’t have been JUST the clown costume; I can believe that the clown costume was a factor but there must have been more to it than that), I’ve never come across it. Then again, I read about movies way more than I watch them. I in fact read about movies so I can learn about them and not HAVE to watch them. 😉
Since there’s a theme of slasher history during this roundtable: Probably many people around here are familiar with slasher-centric sites A Slash Above and Hysteria Lives. If not:
http://aslashabove.com/a-slash-above-slasher-index/
http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk/
#24 by ronald on December 2, 2014 - 6:38 pm
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BTW, Lyz, are you on Facebook?
#25 by ronald on December 4, 2014 - 12:46 pm
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Totally Different Topic:
From the IMDB:
Mako: The Jaws of Death (1976): A man accidentally learns that he has a mystical connection with sharks, and is given a strange medallion by a shaman. Becoming more and more alienated from normal society, he develops an ability to communicate with sharks telepathically, setting out to destroy anybody who harms sharks. People enter into his strange world to exploit his weird passion, and he uses the animals to gain revenge on anybody who double crosses him.
Let’s look at that middle part again:
“he develops an ability to communicate with sharks telepathically, setting out to destroy anybody who harms sharks”*
It doesn’t seem possible that you’ve never come across this film before, but just in case, now you know. 😉
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*most people who think that they understand Aquaman’s capabilities really don’t at all
#26 by El Santo on December 4, 2014 - 2:59 pm
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Her review of that very film, under an alternate title: http://www.aycyas.com/jawsofdeath.htm
#27 by ronald on December 5, 2014 - 7:51 am
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Oh, sorry. Well, hopefully, it’s the thought that counts…
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