Archive for August, 2016

What the &*@#$! did I just watch?

A Fistful of Pennies


Invasion (2005)

If you have some experience with B-movies, chances are you’ve run into something by Albert Pyun. If I told you this Pyun sci-fi film had a shop-worn plot, minimal special effects, repetitious dialog and a ridiculously inflated running time, you’d probably think you knew what to expect. You’d also probably figure I didn’t like the movie very much.

You’d be wrong on both counts.

I have to admit, though… Pyun’s $35,000 movie had me asking a question I normally only ask while I’m watching a multi-million dollar Hollywood production: Where did all that money go?

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.

I’m not fonda this Fonda movie

Fighting MadAlthough Fighting Mad is not about Cracked’s pathetic efforts over the decades, it is all the same pathetic.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Master of penny-pinching…

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Well! We can hardly have a low-budget Roundtable without a visit from Uncle Roger, so I have transferred over two reviews: Monster From The Ocean Floor ($12,000 – $18,000, depending on who you ask), and The Beast With A Million Eyes ($23,000).

 

 

 

 

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Meanwhile, I have also transferred a handful of silent films:
A Trip To The Moon (1902)
Frankenstein (1910)
She (1911)
Conquest Of The Pole (1912)
Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde (1912)
Dr Jekyll And Mr Hyde (1913)

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Et al. has been updated—again mostly midday and midnight movies, but I also continue my quest to catch up with the year 2007:
– recommended from this batch: Pink Strings And Sealing Wax (1945), The Overlanders (1946)
– anti-recommended from this batch: Premonition (2007)

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And finally, our very own The Rev has contributed a book review, taking a look at Les Simon’s rampaging-giant-lizard novel, Gila!

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<Kent Brockman> “That oughta hold the little SOBs!” </Kent Brockman>

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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

Choose the one where you don’t watch the movie

OptionsI wonder what J. D. Salinger though of his son Matt not only embarrassing himself in the Albert Pyun Captain America movie, but also in the feeble romantic comedy Options.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

…and things that go bump in the night

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PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2007)

…in which we discover that if a paranormal entity has been following you around since your childhood, it’s best to have a boyfriend who¬†isn’t a complete jerk…

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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

I can only imagine if they had TWO thousand dollars to spend

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ManborgThe science fiction movie Manborg overcomes its ludicrously low budget – and its Canadian origins – and becomes very entertaining.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

The Last (?) of Dino and the First of Ultimate Cheapskate Challenge

Look at me, all caught up like I was a responsible member of the cabal or something…

 

Black Narcissus (1947), in which Respected Artists can get a Condemned rating from the Legion of Decency, too…

Danger: Diabolik (1967), in which it’s expected for once that we’re all rooting for the bad guys…

Dune (1984), in which the “YOU TRIED!” star genuinely is something to be halfway proud of…

The Human Tornado (1976), which eats easily 30% less rat soup than the original Dolemite

Infra-Man (1975), in which we can all have such a thing…

Multiple Maniacs (1970), in which John Waters is forced reluctantly to concede that not even Divine can upstage Charles Manson…

Water Power (1976), in which there really is a mafia-financed porno movie loosely based on the case of the¬†Illinois Enema Bandit, and I apologize to you all for bringing that to your attention…

and…

The White Buffalo (1977), in which all of Dino De Laurentiis’s mid-70’s obsessions come together in a single picture at last.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.