Yes, at long last… it’s Amityville: The Awakening (2014… no, 2015… no, 2016… no, 2017! We mean it this time!).

So was it worth setting the alarm for this Awakening? Oh, of course not. It’s not as painfully bad as its multiple reshoots and reschedulings might have led us to believe, but the final product is so depressingly generic that I found myself wishing I were watching Amityville Death House instead. Give me enthusiastic incompetence over dreary corporate-approved indifference any day!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT: Amityville: The Awakening is free to watch on Google Play from now until October 28, 2017.

UPDATE: Sure enough, Amityville: The Awakening was released to theaters for a very limited run on October 28, and its nationwide gross was… $742. This sort of thing just makes me mad.

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.

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