… unless you’ve either seen The Turning (2020) already, or you’re so bored with self-quarantine, curfew, and Social Distancing that you just don’t care. Really, you shouldn’t care… The Turning isn’t all that good. But if you want to wait, and see for yourself what prompted groans of outrage from both critics and audiences when the movie was first released, then do NOT read this review. The reader is warned.

The TurningIf you have seen it, then you probably have a good idea why I wanted to write a review full of spoilers. There’s so much about The Turning that almost works that I felt we all had to be missing something: some explanation for why… certain things… turned out the way they did. I think I found that explanation. Meta-spoiler alert: the explanation isn’t necessarily a good one. In fact, it’s kind-of a mess. But a lot about The Turning turned out to be a mess. Take the screen shot I’m using to illustrate this post — it’s one of the most vivid images from the movie’s trailer. But the trailer’s the only place you’ll see it: it never made it to the finished film. In fact, it doesn’t even remotely belong in the finished film. Yes, The Turning felt a lot more like The Screwing to those of us that suffered through it in theaters, but at least it has the distinction of being an interesting failure.

(Ahh, go on. Read it anyway.)

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.