Archive for category New Reviews

I have gas pains

Gas

Donald Sutherland reportedly agreed to appear in Gas strictly for the money. Though you shouldn’t watch the end results even if someone offers to pay you handsomely for doing it.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

This drip is bloody awful

The Dorm That Dripped Blood

It seemed everyone was making a slasher movie in the early 1980s, and The Dorm That Dripped Blood is one of the absolute worst efforts from this period.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Shake, Rattle, Roll, Repeat

 

Shake Rattle and Roll As I was thinking over the theme of this Roundtable, it occurred to me that “core competency” was not a straightforward issue for me. To begin with, there are the core areas I assumed I’d be pursuing when I began my site, some of which I never followed through on. Then, there are the things I still consider to be deeply important to me, but which are strangely, even shockingly under-represented in my twenty years’ worth of reviews. And then, there are the “competencies” (too strong a word, really) that other people tend to associate with me, simply because — regardless of what I originally intended, regardless of what I’ve cultivated privately — these were the things I actually did.

Bearing that in mind, I identified two themes that represent me a little bit more than I’d ever expected them to:

  • Horror flicks from Southeast Asia; and
  • Ridiculously ambitious projects that never get finished.
It’s true: I have more unfinished offspring wandering in my dungeons than Joseph Curwen and any three Frankensteins combined. So, for my initial entry in the Roundtable, what better way to represent myself than by starting on a survey of that infamously long-running Philippine horror anthology series: Shake Rattle and Roll? Here’s my review of Parts I through IV (1988, 1990, 1991, 1992).

Will I ever make it all the way up the mountain to Part XV? Keep watching this space!

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.

Madder science, you say?

 

 
 (And yes, I was hoping to get to ‘maddest’…)

 
 

 

 

THE MAN WHO CHANGED HIS MIND (1936)

In which a scientist of questionable sanity throws in his lot with a self-aggrandising press baron, partly in order to test his theories about extracting the thought-content from a living brain…but mostly just to prove the fools wrong…

 

(I have also posted a new Et Al. update.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

Consider this one a down payment.

I’ll have more reviews for the first 20th-anniversary roundtable next time, but for now you can start with…

Black Emanuelle (1975), in which the title character is neither strictly speaking Emanuelle nor strictly speaking black…

and…

From Hell It Came (1957), in which an isolated Polynesian tribe could use the services of a good lumberjack.

Then there are these others:

After the Fall of New York (1983), in which the real 2019 has a way to slip yet before it lives up to its 36-year-old fictional counterpart…

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), in which Sid Vicious crosses oceans of time to steal Veronica away from Ted…

The Inferno (1911), in which Dante Alighieri offers a hearty “so there” to every asshole in Florence…

and…

Interview with the Vampire (1994), in which immortality means never having to shut your bloody gob, you narcissistic gasbag!

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

Mad science, you say?

 

 

 

 
ISLAND OF LOST SOULS (1933)
 

 
One of Paramount’s rare but always fascinating ventures into screen horror, this adaptation of H. G. Wells’ The Island Of Dr Moreau not only upped the ante on Wells himself, but pushed the boundaries of contemporary screen censorship as far as they could go.
 
 
Horror, violence, sex, blasphemy, mad science—ahh, good times!

 

 

 

 

 Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

Catching Up on Past Roundtables, Part… Llama?

While I’m finishing up my first “20th Anniversary” Roundtable entry, it’s time for me to catch up on another missed Roundtable from last year:

Were-WHAT? A Truly Transformative B-Masters' Roundtable
Qarqacha: El demonio del incesto

For some reason, llamas were extremely popular as Christmas decorations in 2018. We had llama tree ornaments, llama greeting cards, llama wrapping paper, llama stuffed toys, inflatable light-up llamas for our yards… “Fa-la-la-la-llama,” they said.

Even after Christmas, the llama theme has continued, with llama candy boxes, more stuffed llama toys, and cards celebrating “Va-llama-ntine’s Day”. I’m waiting for the inevitable llam-rechauns on St. Alpac-trick’s Day.

If more people had seen our movie for today, these gentle South American pack animals might not be quite as popular.

Introducing Qarqacha: El demonio del incesto (“Jarjacha, the Demon of Incest”), a regional Peruvian horror film from 2002, in which people guilty of incest turn into murderous were-llamas. I’ll say it again: WERE-LLAMAS. Even for a genre that’s given us human beings turning into cicadas, reindeer, or sentient puddles of oil, this… is a little weird.

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.

I give it the boot

Puss In BootsThe presence of the dancing (and singing) Christopher Walken almost – but not quite – makes the Golan-Globus produced family movie Puss In Boots worth slogging through.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

A very special episode of butt kicking

Special ForcesWith the skill of the legendary director Isaac Florentine, Special Forces overcomes its limitations, succeeding more than it stumbles.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Doesn’t build up to much

The CarpenterThe makers of The Carpenter managed to get Wings Hauser in the title role, but like a carpenter without his tool belt, Hauser had little to work with.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.