Archive for category New Reviews

A tale of an artificial heart, but a REAL movie

ThresholdThe medical drama Threshold is one of the best efforts to come out of the Canadian tax shelter era.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Revenge here is a dish served bland

Sweet RevengeThe filmmakers who made Sweet Revenge had some promising ideas, but were unable to exploit them properly.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Catching Up on Past Roundtables, Part 2: Peter Cushing

Dr. terror's House of Honours: The B-Masters Salute Peter Cushing

La Grande Trouille/Tendre Dracula (1974)

A great horror star has given up his career in order to devote his life to the cause of Romance. His producer sends two inept screenwriters after him, to drag him back to his commitments. But the fugitive star is much more than he seems to be; and the two idiots soon find that nothing in the real world could prepare them for entering the realm of either horror or romance.

It’s often said that Peter Cushing didn’t make any truly bad movies, because his presence alone was generally enough to save even the worst of them. Trust me to find the exception. La Grande Trouille is so awful that I find myself digressing even further than usual to avoid talking about it. This French would-be comedy wastes not only a good premise, but also the talents of some other fine actors in addition to Cushing: Alida Valli and Miou-Miou.

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.

It’ll make you grin

SmileMichael Ritchie was an inconsistent director, though with Smile he struck comic gold.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

I want my mummy!

 

So I did something about it.

 


 
 

THE MUMMY’S CURSE (1944)
…is notable chiefly for the contempt it displays for the franchise which contains it. That said, it’s probably the only chance you’ll ever have to see a 3,000-year-old, undead Egyptian princess using a microscope.
 

I have also copied over:
The Mummy’s Hand (1940)
The Mummy’s Tomb (1942)
The Mummy’s Ghost (1944)

…and as a consequence, I am currently suffering a strange medical condition I call “bandage-blindness”.
 
 
 
 
 

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

Catching Up on Past Roundtables, Part 1: WTF?

WTF? A B-Masters' Roundtable

Indian cinema frequently borrows from popular Hollywood movies, but never has the borrowing been more bizarre and less appropriate than in Kutty Pisasu (2010), a Tamil film that brings together the divine retribution of Kali and.. and…

You know what? I can’t. I just can’t. Suffice it to say it’s one of my least favorite American pop-cultural artifacts, and it has no place mixing with Indian mythology… but you’ll have to read about it for yourself. Oh, and there’s also a singing/dancing child star who goes around incinerating people. It’s weird, it’s wild, it’s colorful, and it’s much less fun than you might think.

Kutty Pisasu

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.

Love hurts, but not for the viewer

Dream LoverAlas, I could not find the unrated version of Dream Lover to watch, but that did not stop me from enjoying this thriller.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

A B movie with a professional score is music to my ears


The Sword And The SorcererThe David Whitaker musical score for The Sword And The Sorcerer is truly magnificent, helping to raise the movie out of its low budget origins. And shock of all shocks, the movie does not suffer from being directed by Albert Pyun.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Sorry — still no Roundtable entry

Cold MoonOK, I know. It’s bad form to be late to a Roundtable that was my idea in the first place… especially considering my near-total non-participation in the Cabal this year. Trust me, it’s not out of a lack of interest.

In the meantime, here’s a review to prove I’m actually still alive:

Cold Moon (2016)

I spent my teen years hoping someone would make a movie out of Michael McDowell’s “Cold Moon Over Babylon”, and my adult years hoping they wouldn’t. Now that they have, the result is a good news/bad news situation: the good news is the movie is remarkably faithful to the book. The bad news… is exactly the same.

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.

Oozy listening


 

It’s a little known fact that nothing inspires song-writers quite like films about disgusting creepy goo…
 


 
 
THE BLOB (1958)

Steven McQueen vs rampaging red jello!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 
THE GREEN SLIME (1968)

Richard Jaeckel vs rampaging green polyps!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!