Archive for category New Reviews

I give it the boot

Puss In BootsThe presence of the dancing (and singing) Christopher Walken almost – but not quite – makes the Golan-Globus produced family movie Puss In Boots worth slogging through.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

A very special episode of butt kicking

Special ForcesWith the skill of the legendary director Isaac Florentine, Special Forces overcomes its limitations, succeeding more than it stumbles.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Doesn’t build up to much

The CarpenterThe makers of The Carpenter managed to get Wings Hauser in the title role, but like a carpenter without his tool belt, Hauser had little to work with.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Hey, it isn’t Epiphany yet

Holiday stuff is still technically relevant until Sunday.  Or if that doesn’t convince you, just pretend I’m Russian Orthodox…

 

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982), in which an interesting experiment in franchise theory goes careening off the rails…

Horror Express (1972), in which what sounds like an Agatha Christie riff is actually a fair approximation of “Who Goes There?”…

Murder by the Clock (1931), in which the “clock,” for the record, is the methodical operation of the villainess’s mind…

and…

The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978), in which I still don’t entirely believe what I saw.

 

 

 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

Get on the bus

Exit SpeedAlthough the basic idea of Exit Speed isn’t anything new, the execution of the idea this time around is very well done.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

My bloody Valentine

Psychos In LoveThe horror comedy Psychos In Love overcomes its rock bottom budget and becomes a very funny (and bloody) B movie.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Pee-yew!

WhiffsOne of the worst comedies of the 1970s, Whiffs is not just a very bad movie, its stupidity will make viewers extremely angry.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Nothing to get in a flap about

The Bat PeopleThe horror movie The Bat People makes the idea of a human turning into a monster surprisingly boring.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Some roundtables are harder than they look

When “Were-WHAT?” came up as the next B-Masters roundtable topic, my immediate reaction was, “Oh, no…” Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun topic. But off-model lycanthropy is so much fun that it’s been one of my go-to subgenres for eighteen years. I’ve done were-cats; I’ve done were-snakes; I’ve done were-bugs. The whole cabal did were-jellyfish in 2009. I’ve even done a were-Gorgon, plus that one movie where Raymond Burr thinks he’s a were-gorilla. So it was a real challenge to come up with a were-whatsit weird enough to be worthy of the present undertaking. I think you’ll agree, though, that a vampiric were-reindeer amply fits the bill. And as is my wont, I reviewed a bunch of other stuff, too:

Alligator (1980), in which dumping unwanted baby alligators and hormone-contaminated dog carcasses into the same sewer is a stupid thing to do…

Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb (1971), in which storing the preserved body of an ancient sorceress in your basement isn’t a whole lot smarter…

Carmilla (1989), in which taking on a teenage vampire as a houseguest might be the dumbest thing of all…

Deadly Games (1980), in which a slasher tears through the setting of a 70’s prime-time soap opera that never was…

The Flesh and the Fiends (1959), in which those anatomy class cadavers have to come from somewhere

Halloween II (1981), in which the Boogeyman gets demoted…

The Phantom (1931), in which a bunch of weary old Spooky House cliches go on an insane Xanax-and-Thunderbird bender, and wind up passed out under your back porch…

and…

The Velvet Vampire (1971), in which the director of The Student Nurses practices her Jean Rollin impression.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

Sexy slithering!

 

…just not enough of it, alas.

 

 

 

 

THE REPTILE (1966)

…in which an officious Brit sticks his nose into one “primitive Eastern religion” too many…though of course it isn’t him who pays the price…

 

I have also transferred over Cult Of The Cobra (1955) and The Snake Woman (1961).

 

 

 

 

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!