Brain and brain, what is brain?

TBFPA57-gor3b

.

As it turns out, a balloon on wires with stuck-on googly eyes. Bet they didn’t tell you that in anatomy class..

 

THE BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS (1957)

In which a “recognised nuclear scientist” is taken over by a giant transparent floating space brain, and immediately starts making plans for world domination. He also turns into a ravening sex-maniac.

Hmm…is it just me, or is a pattern starting to emerge in the reviews I’m resurrecting?

 

 

 

.

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

Sex with androids. Have I got your attention?

Making Mr. RightJohn Malkovich and Ann Magnuson star in Making Mr. Right, a very pleasant comedy that proposes that the best man for a woman may not always be made of flesh and blood.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

Behold– HUBRISFEST!

With 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting passing the ten-year milestone back in July, I decided to do something extra-stupid to celebrate.  I went and took on three of the most thoroughly discussed and dissected properties in all of science fiction:

 

Dr. Who and the Daleks (1965), in which the Doctor is an idiot, the Daleks are pushovers, and only the juvenilized Susan seems truly qualified to go adventuring through the most dangerous regions of time and space…

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), in which motion is famously the thing that’s most sorely lacking…

and…

Star Wars (1977), in which the Force– the energy field created by Peter Cushing, Alec Guinness, James Earl Jones, and a whole lot of immensely talented guys named ”John”– truly was with George Lucas.

 

Also, I’ve got some less overreaching reviews, too:

 

Carnival Magic (1981), in which a tiger-tamer ain’t nothing next to a psychic with a talking chimp…

Pacific Rim (2013), in which HUGE FREAKING ROBOTS punch HUGE FREAKING MONSTERS in the face for two hours…

Phantasm (1979), in which funeral parlors are even creepier than you realized…

and…

Wake in Fright (1971), in which Outback mining towns make for a truly unforgettable Christmas vacation.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

Surfin’ USA. And Portugal. And Morocco. And India. And…

Follow MeThe success of the 1966 surfing documentary The Endless Summer inspired a number of imitators, Follow Me being one of them. Does it find the perfect wave, or does it wipe out? Read the review to find out the answer.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

Moonie loonies

Ticket To HeavenAs you know, most Canadian movies are horrifying for all the wrong reasons. However, the Canadian movie Ticket To Heaven is a scary yet well-crafted exercise, revealing how manipulative many religious cults are and that YOU could become a victim to one of them.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

Everybody must get stoned…

RM36-bill6b.

A resurrected review from the earliest days of the site:

 

REEFER MADNESS (1936)

In which evil marijuana pushers turn clean-cut young Americans into sex-crazed drug fiends (see left).

Oh! – and this one’s a bit NSFW, although not for the usual reason…

.

 

I’ve also reformatted and added screenshots to FRANKENSTEIN (1910).

 

.

 

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

I contest this contest

Million Dollar MysteryThe movie Million Dollar Mystery was made as part of a contest, where moviegoers who saw the movie had the chance to win a million dollars. If the producers of the movie had been charged by the bad movie idea police, I am sure their plea would have been, “No contest.”

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

It’s the 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting Renaissance Festival!

Complete with about as much historical plausibility as the real thing– but considerably fewer mead and turkey-leg concessions, unfortunately.

 

Excalibur (1981), in which John Boorman’s usual approach of smoking half his weight in loco weed before calling “ACTION!” yields respectable results for once…

Flesh & Blood (1985), in which the Medieval landscape is heavily slathered in both of those things…

Hawk the Slayer (1980), in which Terry Marcel proves that the English can make sword-and-sorcery movies every bit as dumb as the Italians’…

Hearts and Armour (1983), in which Giacomo Battiato makes a strong bid to raise the bar on Marcel…

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2006), in which Uwe Boll raises it even further…

In the Name of the King: Two Worlds (2011), in which Boll’s license-grantors take their toys and go home…

and…

Tales of an Ancient Empire (2012), in which Albert Pyun settles the “Who can make the dumbest sword-and-sorcery movie?” argument once and for all.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

Back to square one

Ah, dearie me…and I had such good intentions. Unfortunately, they’ve landed me just where good intentions traditionally do.

I don’t know whether the rest of the world suffers from this particularly idiocy, but here, although they’ve long since stopped bothering about region-coding our actual DVD players, they still do region-code the DVD players in our computers; which means that over time I’ve ended up with three computers devoted to the serious business of screenshots: my old desktop for R1 discs, my new laptop for R4/R0, and – in the relatively short time since it was superseded – my old laptop for R2, which are a tiny but significant minority of the collection.

And now my desktop has gone and died, which threw quite a spanner into my house-keeping plans, since I can’t play R1 DVDs until I’ve come to terms with the prospect of buying a new computer just to take screenshots.

And yes, I do realise that this pretty much defines the expression “First World problems”.

In the meantime, thwarted in many of the plans I’d made, I’ve done what I always do in the face of too much choice, and gone back to the beginning:

VDLL02-moon1b

.

LE VOYAGE DANS LA LUNE (1902)

I’ve gone back over this review and replaced the blurry black-and-white screenshots with images from the recent colour restoration, which allow much more of the film’s fine detail to be observed; as well as offering a salutary reminder that while the Italians may have taken it to new heights (or depths), it was the French who invented cinematic eye violence.

Thanks, fellas!

 

 

 

 

 

.

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit

Okay, but could have been more fly

InterceptorFour years before the big budget movie Air Force One hit theaters, the low budget B-movie Interceptor did “Die Hard on an airplane”. I guess it flies, but boy, it’s often a wobbly ride.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


Click to share:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • email
  • StumbleUpon
  • Delicious
  • Google Reader
  • Digg
  • Reddit