B-Masters Have Risen from the Grave

IT'S ALIVE! The B-Masters are Back from Beyond

It’s been a long, long time… but the B-Masters are finally back in our own website. Like most things brought back to life in the movies, we’re missing a few pieces here and there, but that’s no reason we can’t have our Colin Clive moment of triumph. IT’S ALIVE! ALIVE! IT’S ALIVE!!
City of the Living Dead
And what better way to celebrate our resurrection than with a Roundtable — our first in a full year? This time our subject is (appropriately enough) movies about coming back from the dead. To start things off, here’s a review of one of the most infamous films about Those Who Return: Lucio Fulci’s City of the Living Dead (1980), a.k.a. Gates of Hell.

Will Laughlin is the Braineater.


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A scarecrow that really scares

Dark Night Of The ScarecrowThe movie Dark Night Of The Scarecrow manages to be surprisingly creepy and proves that made for television horror movies can be just as creepy as horror movies made for theatrical release.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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The mother of all disappointing WIP movies

The MuthersThe Cirio H. Santiago movie The Muthers is a women in prison slash modern day pirate movie. It sounds like fun, but it isn’t.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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Just rent

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I was, heaven help me, going to take a look at the new batch of pseudo-sequels; but I figured I’d better tidy up this mess first. As far as a mess like this can be tidied up…

 

TAH05-house1b.

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005)

In which a newly blended family moves into its dream home and—well, I’m pretty sure you know how this one goes.

The most significant feature of this version of the by-now venerable tale is that it allows the 1979 version to belatedly achieve its aspiration of looking like a respectable mainstream production…at least by comparison…

 

 

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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Get a clue and watch it

Detective School DropoutsWhat a surprise. Detective School Dropouts is not only a rare comedy from Golan and Globus, it happens to be genuinely funny and deserves to be better known.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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Testing, testing… Is this thing on?

fireworks2014c2Yes, yes – I’m late.

And it’s even later here, so I feel even more guilty.

Of course I have an excuse; and unlike most of my excuses, it’s a really good one!

That old joker, 2013, decided to go out with a literal bang by dropping a tree on my house. Consequently I’ve been a little…distracted.

Not to mention behind in my New Year’s Resolutions by 1st January – a new record!

However…

2013 was indeed a right bee-yotch of a year and I for one am profoundly grateful to see the back of it.

And while I’m not going to make any foolhardy promises for 2014, either on my own behalf or on behalf of the others, I think I can say that we will at least be trying to get ourselves back in some sort of order.

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As always, our sincere thanks and gratitude to those of you who have stuck by us through a very rough ride, and here’s hoping for smoother (and more productive!) sailing in the future.

 

Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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Sole cinema

Sole SurvivorA young woman is a passenger in a vehicle that gets into an accident, and she is the only survivor. After the accident, she starts seeing ghostly figures. Carnival Of Souls? No, it’s Sole Survivor, but its remarkable similarities to the Herk Harvey movie are just minor problems compared to others found in the movie.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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Operation Catchup

It’s been a big year for me putting off and/or not getting around to reviewing movies I meant to write up.  Here’s phase one of a project meant to correct that:

 

Asylum (1972), in which a psychiatrist’s job interview curiously devolves into four short stories by Robert Bloch…

A Carol for Another Christmas (1964), in which Rod Serling deploys every ounce of his famously heavy hand reworking the classic holiday ghost story as propaganda for the United Nations…

From Beyond the Grave (1973), in which a vendor of cursed antiques provides the connective tissue for four short stories by R. Chetwynd-Hayes…

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013), which is the odd review out this time around…

Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds (1977), in which Toei apparently try to salvage an abortive attempt to rip off Dino De Laurentiis’s King Kong by ripping off Jaws instead…

Madhouse (1974), which is sort of like Theater of Blood, only not good…

and…

RoboCop 3 (1991/1993), which is a lot like RoboCop 2, only even worse.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.


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Crawl if you must to see this

The BabyThe movie The Baby is one of the strangest American cinematic productions to come out of the 1970s. Which of course means it is greatly entertaining and unlike any other movie you’ve ever seen.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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Not Bonding with John Gardner

Three more of John Gardner’s James Bond novels reviews. This are fast-paced but really creepy in FOR SPECIAL SERVICES (Bond beds the daughters of his best friend AND his worst enemy), silly in ICEBREAKER, and boring, terrible, and nonsensical in ROLE OF HONOR. Thrill as you read 40 pages of James Bond learning to program in COBOL!

007 IN THE AGE OF CASUAL FRIDAY

bonds

Keith Allison is the ruthless overlord of Teleport City.


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