The sexy side of gladiators

The ArenaWhile the Roger Corman production The Arena may have had a promising premise – female slaves forced into gladiator fights – something went wrong during the actual execution.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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    The Rev is SUCH a know-it-all…

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    You know, I used to wish for a man who could understand me; but now that I have one, it’s actually a little creepy…

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    PUPPET MASTER III: TOULON’S REVENGE (1991)

    A prequel which contradicts pretty much everything we’ve been told so far about Andre Toulon and his puppets.

    But hey! – Nazis vs Killer Puppets!

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    I have also revised and added screenshots to Puppet Master (1989), and transferred over Puppet Master II (1991).

    And because I roundly criticised the latter with reference to The Mummy (1932), I’ve transferred that over, too.

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    [NB: The Puppet Master films are probably NSFW: there’s quite a lot of blood and a bit of almost-nudity.]

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    Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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      Whoa-o, it’s halfway there…

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      Attack Of The Beast CreaturesSo-bad-it’s-good status is just missed with Attack Of The Beast Creatures. There is unintentional comic gold in them thar dolls… just not enough to make it essential viewing.

      Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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        Deep End (1970)

        It’s election day in America, so here’s a British film from a Polish director about sexual and ideological disillusionment.

        DEEP END

        deep-end2There’s a song by Peggy Lee called “Is That All There Is,” in which she wearily reflects on the mundane reality of most of the emotions and events humans consider milestones. Tragedy, love, loss, entertainment, and ultimately death. In every case, upon enduring and coming out the other side, she shrugs and simply wonders, “Is that all there is?” Her realization, the idea that the most important events of our lives often turn out rather mundane when you step back and think about it, would make a perfect theme song for Deep End, a film in which the promise of cultural and personal revolution turns out to deliver a rather drab reality.


        Keith Allison is the chief bacchanologist at MEZZANOTTE.


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          Tags:

          Crying, talking, sleeping, walking…

          …chasing, drilling, slashing, killing…

          Aww, dolls. How sweet. Little miniature humans that can be played with and posed…dresses and undressed…dismantled and reassembled…twisted and tortured… Anything, in fact, that a child’s imagination can concoct.

          But what happens when our playthings get tired of being pushed around? When they decide to find out what we look like with our heads turned around—or how far our arms can bend back—or what we’re stuffed with?

          Join us this month as we follow the adventures of some dolls who give a whole new meaning to the term “action figure”. It might start out as just fun and games…

          …but trust us, it’ll end in tears.

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          It’s HELLO, DOLLY – all through November at the B-Masters’ blog!

           

          Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!


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            Dysfunctional family matters

            FirstbornThe family drama Firstborn is a well crafted exercise that is worth seeing… though only if you can look past the terrible last twenty minutes.

            Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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              Things I Saw in the Theater Recently

              Godzilla: Resurgence (2016), in which a new kind of nuclear disaster demands a new kind of kaiju

              Horror of the Zombies (1974), in which the Blind Dead take a subtropical cruise vacation…

              The House of Psychotic Women (1974), which never had a hope of living up to that title, let alone living up to the old VHS box art…

              and…

              Night of Dark Shadows (1971), in which the best aid to comprehension is probably to be not a fan of the TV series.

               
               
               

              El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.


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                It bugged me

                Empire Of The AntsThe Bert I. Gordon movie Empire Of The Ants must have been seen as old fashioned and out of date to audiences even back in 1977.

                Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.


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                  Taiwan rips off a Thai rip-off of a Japanese Ultraman rip-off

                  MARS MEN
                  feat-marsmen“One thing noteworthy about Giant and Jumbo A, as it relates to Sompote Sands’ larger body of work, is that, because it relies so much on recycled footage, it provides little room for Sands to express the perversity that would later become a marker of his work. As such, it may be one of the very few films Sands made that is actually family friendly, free as it is of gratuitous nudity, violence against children, and graphic scenes of animals shitting on people. It is also worth noting, however, that scenes from Giant and Jumbo A later made their way into Sands’ film Magic Lizard, which contains all of those things.”


                  Keith Allison is the chief bacchanologist at MEZZANOTTE.


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                    Tags: , , , , , , ,

                    Godzilla vs. Red Tape

                    Shin Gojira
                    Aww, look… Toho got me a 50th Birthday present:

                    Shin Gojira (2016)

                    … in which we learn (as the Japanese did in real life in March, 2011) that the only thing worse than a radioactive menace devastating your country is a hidebound bureaucracy intent on covering its o-shiri. You have never seen a Godzilla movie quite like this one.

                    I wanted to get this capsule review/reminder posted immediately, since the movie is still being shown domestically. If you’re in the US and haven’t gone to see it yet, you still have time: it’s playing until Tuesday, October 18th at select theaters across the country. Check for the closest theater in your area here.

                    Will Laughlin is the Braineater.


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