Once, every so often, true love comes along and lifts us up above the mortal realm. That is how it is supposed to work anyway, but the B-Masters know better. Just when you think you’ve found the mate of your dreams they turn out to be a prude. Mr. Perfect refuses to date a girl with an extra mouth (Is he crazy? An extra mouth? I’d be all over that!) or Mrs. Priss is scared of a man who turns into a towering sexual demon after coitus. The Cabal understands your plight, we all do.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, the Cabal ignored normal conventions and went looking for Love in all the wrong places. Platonic computers, deviants, spiritual liaisons with snake women, even Liberace as a male sex symbol – we left no bed unsullied. Read on as normal people stop and point, screaming all the while, “That’s just plain wrong!”

Site Tainted Film Excerpt from the Review
The Bad Movie Report The Curious Dr. Humpp Yes, Dr. Humpp… …goes door to door, administering aphrodisiacs to his prisoners and issuing commands like “Put the lesbians in one room… I want to observe them!”
B-Notes Four Sided Triangle Finally, they put Lena in a coffin sized display case. (Yo, Prince Charming! Wake this with a kiss!) Bill goes through the motion of turning things on, but now they have a shot clock and a whirling circle thing that does whatever. (Oh, yeah. It does science (!).)
Badmovies.org Tromeo & Juliet Ah, a classic love story. You find the girl of your dreams, but she is an incestuous love slave. Plus your families are on opposite sides of a vicious gang war. Twisted, you people are twisted freaks!
Cold Fusion Video Reviews Hatchet for the Honeymoon John finally kills his wife, who’s none too stable herself, and a devotee of spiritism; from that point forward, he finds that people around him see her spirit beside him…
Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension Sincerely Yours Even so, it remains difficult to believe that anyone would toss Liberace a huge sack of loot to star in a weepy, straight — in more ways than one — romantic picture.
Opposable Thumb Films Nekromantik Is that the scent of love in the air, or merely formaldehyde?
Stomp Tokyo Demon Seed But if we are attracted to the opposite sex’s reproductive attributes, wouldn’t a computer judge its mates by available disk space and processing power?
Teleport City Green Snake And Green Snake accomplishes what it sets out to do, which is to pull people into its rapturous beauty then leave them confused and depressed at the tragedy of human stubbornness and greed.
And You Call Yourself a Scientist! The Horrible Secret of Dr.
Hichcock
Forgive a facetious interjection, but while watching this film I was irresistibly reminded of an ad for Duckman that has been playing cable here recently, in which the outraged fowl hurls bricks through the office windows of Cosmopolitan magazine. “That’s for making women expect an orgasm every damn time!” Is it this that drives Bernard Hichcock?


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