There are films that make you laugh, and films that make you cry.

There are films that make you angry, and others that make you feel good.

There are films that make you think, and others that are mindless entertainment.

And then there are those films to which the only reasonable response is a cry of—  “WTF!?”

So join us as we take a walk on the weird side…

1000 Misspent Hours and Counting Lisztomania Franz agrees only under duress, but he sets out just the same for Wagner’s Draculean castle. (The matte painting shows it to be built in the form of a titanic head wearing a Nazi coalscuttle helmet.) There, Liszt witnesses through a hard-to-reach window a rite in which solemn, blond children in Superman costumes (except with “W” crests on the chest in place of the expected “S”) watch a bestial Jewish giant rape a bunch of nude Aryan maidens before stealing the glowing, golden glans from atop the phallic obelisk which the girls had all been worshipping previously. Then Wagner himself comes out to sing an anti-Semitic sermon, after which Cosima marches the Wagner Jugend back to the nursery.
And You Call Yourself A Scientist! Hausu (1977) Throw into mix hints of, say, Yellow Submarine, The Umbrellas Of Cherbourg and Suspiria; add a large serving of the absurdist visual humour we now associate with Monty Python (but which in cinematic terms probably originated with Hellzapoppin’, the 1941 film adaptation of the stage musical by Olsen and Johnson), plus the so-sincere-it-hurts sensibility and hyper-real visuals of a Douglas Sirk melodrama; and you have a film for which the word “unique” is an entirely inadequate descriptor.
And You Call Yourself A Scientist! The Unknown (1927) I’m prepared to go out on a limb and declare The Unknown to be their joint masterpiece: a perfect vehicle for displaying their remarkable talents, and a perfect crystallisation of their separate but strangely symbiotic hang-ups. Thus, with respect to Browning, we find ourselves dealing with deviant psychology and the non-supernatural macabre in the abnormal-is-normal setting of the circus which, if not used better here than in Freaks, is at least used less uncomfortably; while for Chaney, The Unknown not only showcases one of the frankly masochistic roles to which he was drawn, and at which he excelled, but contains perhaps his best performance simply as an actor—without elaborate makeup or costuming to either enhance or obscure his art.
Braineater Yak Wat Jaeng vs. Jumborg Ace (1974) Yak Wat Jaeng vs. Jumborg Ace may have been successful in Thailand, but I find it very difficult to believe it would not have been equally successful — maybe even more so — had it been less of a hack job. I can’t believe that any audiences of any storytelling tradition would be happy with the protagonist dangling by his feet in one scene, and then freed and transported to the surface of the moon, without explanation, in the next. Rapid-fire action scenes edited together with a little voice-over may be very appealing for their sheer spectacle, but really: would it hurt their appeal if those rapid-fire action scenes were tied together in the service of a plot?
Braineater Kutty Pisasu (2010) When Priya wakes up, she hears a voice calling to her. “Sister, give me water!” it says; “I’m so thirsty!” In her mind, she pictures the yellow car from her drawing, lit by dazzling sunlight. The house doors spring open without her touching them, and Priya brings a pitcher of water outside. The car is waiting for her in the dark. It blinks its headlights at her as she approaches. “Brother,” she says, “you’ve come back! Here is your water…”

“It’s the anniversary of our deaths,” she goes on, as the old car magically restores itself to mint condition. “Today our enemies will die as well! We must kill them! Kill them all!”

(Let me remind you: this is a five-year-old girl… talking to a car.)

Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension
Teleport City Island Of Death (1976) Nico Mastorakis left the country to pursue his fortunes in a place less volatile and less familiar with him. And that’s when he saw The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The lesson Nico took away from Hooper’s film wasn’t one about economical filmmaking. It wasn’t one about pacing. It wasn’t one about so effectively implying violence that, to this day, people assume The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is much more graphic that it actually is (and this even from people who have seen the movie). No, the lesson Nico Mastorakis took away from the film was that violence sells, so if he wanted to make a bundle to fund his new career as a filmmaker, he should make a film as sick and perverse as he could get away with. So he made a list of perversions, and he basically built the script out of that list, eventually forming it into the story. And so he made Island of Death, an utterly bonkers picture that became infamous when it made the United Kingdom’s “Video Nasties” list…
The Unknown Movies Ninja: American Warrior (1987) For no apparent reason, she then immediately leaps into the air and lands a few feet away. Seconds later, she is attacked by a red-clad ninja, one carrying small hoops as weapons. Though the red ninja tries to defeat the woman with ’50s nostalgia, he is quickly defeated, and vanishes into thin air. The red ninja is then seen several feet away, and while observing the woman in hiding, he rubs his glove-clad hands in anticipation so hard that his hands are soon ablaze. With fire on his gloves, he launches a new attack on the woman. But despite fire on his side, the woman makes short work of this ninja, pummelling him with blows that don’t always make noise when they connect, and sometimes making noise when the woman’s feet and hands are away from the ninja’s body. Seconds after the defeated red ninja disappears in a puff of smoke, the now gleeful woman exclaims, “Ha ha! Now only the black ninja Cougar remains. I’d deal with him tonight!”