The B-Masters Cabal

Back from the Grave and Ready to Party!

Archive for October, 2013

Passing the Film Festivals on to You

Oct 28

Posted by El Santo in New Reviews | 14 Comments

The AFI Silver theater went on a month-long Aussie exploitation binge, and I was there.  Also, here’s a teaser for the forthcoming Drive-In Super Monster-Rama update and something extra-Halloweeny just for the hell of it:

 

Fear in the Night (1972), in which Hammer Film Production taunts us with suggestions of all the pseudo-giallo movies they never actually made…

Long Weekend (1977), in which taking a wilderness camping trip together is exactly the wrong way to fix your ailing marriage, even if Mother Nature isn’t out to get you…

Patrick (1978), in which a three-year coma is no obstacle to a psychotic psychokinetic…

Road Games (1981), in which there has to be a better way of occupying oneself on a cross-country drive than throwing down with hitchhiker-stalking serial killer…

Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983), in which it isn’t just the kids running away to join the circus…

and…

Turkey Shoot (1981), in which nobody really expects neo-fascist re-education camps to do any re-educating, anyway.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

It’s a dog

Oct 27

Posted by lyzard in House-Keeping | 8 Comments

Well.

So much for good intentions.

Although I can attest that my good intentions did in fact lead straight to hell.

Sigh.

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CWOTM53-dance1b.

CAT-WOMEN OF THE MOON (1953)

In which the first expeditionary party to the moon, consisting of three people involved in a love triangle, a venal individual who only wants to exploit his experiences for profit and a young man looking for “the right girl”, encounter the all-female remnant of an ancient civilisation.

Unbeknownst to most of the Earthlings, the moon women intend to hijack their rocketship as the first step towards conquering humanity.

But fear not! – humanity will be just fine, as long as the male members of the expedition don’t have any “weak points”…

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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

A sassy Sasquatch

Oct 26

Posted by Greywizard in New Reviews | No Comments

Night Of The DemonRecent news reports may have debunked the Yeti, but there’s still hope for Bigfoot. But if there really is a Bigfoot, let’s hope he’s not as cranky as the one in the movie Night Of The Demon.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Faux Poe

Oct 21

Posted by KeithA in New Reviews | No Comments

OBLONG BOX

Hessler and Price are together again (for the first time) for a Poe adaptation that actually has a little something to do with Poe, or at least as much as any AIP Poe film has to do with Poe. Poe’s short story, “The Oblong Box,” has to do with a man who witnesses the obsession of an artist friend on a ship with an oblong shipping crate. So committed is the man, seeming delirious and mad, to this box that when the ship is wrecked during a storm, he sinks to the bottom of the ocean with the box rather than abandon it. Not to spoil the surprise, but it was a coffin containing his dead wife, though no one knew of the contents lest they refuse to travel overseas with a corpse. Hessler’s film does indeed contain a coffin that is referred to as an oblong box.

ob25

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Keith Allison is the chief Bacchanologist at Teleport City.

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“Golan” and “Globus” sound like names of fairy tale characters

Oct 16

Posted by Greywizard in New Reviews | 1 Comment

Red Riding HoodOnce upon a time, there were two cousins named Golan and Globus. One day, they got in their heads the idea to make a series of movies based on children’s fairy tales, Red Riding Hood being one of them. However, this is one fairy tale that doesn’t have a happy ending.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

A long time in the wilderness

Oct 15

Posted by KeithA in New Reviews | 4 Comments

Timing is everything, and it was fun to coordinate the database meltdown/move to a new home for Teleport City with the same happening to the B-Masters site. But reconstruction is just about complete (still need to sweep up some drywall dust and mount my guffawin’ spittin’ Laffun Head somewhere), and I do have rather a lot of updates since last we spoke. So in the service of not flooding or making a hundred-review post, I’m going to edit things down to the most recent and encourage you to poke around.

Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb, Plague of the Zombies, Cry of the Banshee, The Mummy’s Shroud, and Revenge of Frankenstein — all reviews salvaged from the wreckage of old Teleport City, spruced up, corrected, partially rewritten, and with added artwork.

Colonel Sun – the first James Bond novel after the death of Ian Fleming, written by Kingsley Amis, who comes across as rather a bit above it all. He also really hates M.

That Prince Among Shampoos and Yes, We Have No Pappy — in case you wanted to know about James Bond’s favorite shampoo company and which cocktails to pair with bay rum aftershave, and what whiskey to buy instead of Pappy Van Winkle, the most coveted whiskey in the recorded history of spirits.

From Donald to Dean – a four part series looking at the history of Matt Helm in book and film, and examining how the stone cold assassin of the books became Dean Martin.

Japan Destroys the World — a look at four films — The Last War, Genocide, Goke: Bodysnatcher from Hell, and Prophecies of Nostradamus — in which Japan exterminates mankind in really strange fashion

I think that’s enough for today

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Keith Allison is the chief Bacchanologist at Teleport City.

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We are family

Oct 6

Posted by Greywizard in New Reviews | No Comments

Lovers And Other StrangersWhat makes Lovers And Other Strangers more often than not a lot of fun to watch is that it not only understands how crazy various relationships in a family can get, you’ll see that your own family problems are probably nothing compared to the problems faced by the people in this movie.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.