Archive for December, 2014

It’s that time again…

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…that time when we look back over the year past and <insert whining and excuses>, but <insert unrealistically optimistic promises>. In fact, <insert resolution broken by the end of the day>!

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However, there is one thing that we can guarantee: <insert genuinely heartfelt thanks and gratitude>.

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Liz Kingsley is the insane genius behind And You Call Yourself a Scientist!

El Santo’s Mario Bava Centennial

For my last update of 2014, I remember one of the greats:

 

Knives of the Avenger (1966), in which we contemplate what to call a Western about Vikings.  A Northern?  A ryer?  A drakenskif opera?

5 Dolls for an August Moon (1970), which was Bava’s own pick for his worst movie ever…

Lisa and the Devil (1973), which is my pick for his most eccentric movie ever…

Rabid Dogs (1974), in which Bava spreads his wings only to have the perch collapse under his feet before liftoff…

and…

The House of Exorcism (1975), in which Bava and producer Alfredo Leone resort to truly desperate measures in the hope of recouping some of Leone’s Lisa and the Devil investment.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

I wanted these end days to simply end

Years Of The BeastWith the world almost a year closer to the end of the world, I thought it would be appropriate to review Years Of The Beast, an end of the world movie that has those familiar trademarks found in most movies made by Christian filmmakers.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

I sing the body electrocuted

The Traveling ExecutionerWords almost fail me with The Traveling Executioner. I can’t think of another movie quite like it, which is one reason why I enjoyed it a lot.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Legend of Suram Fortress

Legend of Suram Fortress

suram15However, some degree of education subsequently achieved, Legend of Suram Fortress remains a very strange film from a very strange director, like an esoteric magical tome written in a language only known in the land of faerie and to Alejandro Jodorowsky. In fact, so surreal was the cinematic style of Sergei Paradjanov that it was considered an affront to the Soviet Union, an artistic divergence so severe that it landed the director in a gulag for crimes committed against social realism. But if one is to stumble semi-blind through the rich and esoteric cultural heritage of the Soviet Union’s Central Asian spheres of influence, one will be confused but enlightened by having Paradjanov as a guide. He was a man trained in the established art schools and production studios of Moscow and Kiev but possessed of a fierce interest in exploring the pre-Soviet indigenous cultures of places like Ukraine, Armenia, Georgia, and Azerbaijan in a way that had little respect for traditional, logical narrative.

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Keith Allison is the chief Bacchanologist at Teleport City.

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Rockers, Racing, & Romance

REDLINE

redline3This is the sort of movie that might spontaneously spawn during a Guitar Wolf concert. Well, this and Wild Zero of course– an oddly apt film to bring up, as the two films share rather a lot besides leather-clad rocker protagonists. It’s over-the-top, anarchic, and every frame is infused with the spirit of rock ‘n’ roll (if not actual rock ‘n’ roll; Redline‘s soundtrack is more thumping techno oriented). It also has a sweet, doe-eyed love story beneath all the engine revving and hair grease — and if you think that is somehow not in keeping with the tough, leather-clad exterior, you might not know many rockers. They are a sentimental lot at their core. Heck, Elvis wanted to be your teddy bear. And Roy Orbison! That dude was all about crying and being sad and taking advice from candy colored clowns we call the Sandman.

 

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Keith Allison is the chief Bacchanologist at Teleport City.

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The Devil and Dikanka

Yesterday we got our first substantial sky full of snow here in the big city, and though it didn’t stick I figured it was signal enough for me to post a seasonal review. We don’t always review Christmas movies during Christmas time, but when we do they involve a Cossack in a furry hat flying around on the Devil’s back.

Evenings on a Farm Near Dikanka

eve48The movie opens as all good Christmas movies should: with a scene of a jolly witch tearing across the night sky astride her broomstick, collecting stars for her eldritch brews, while the devil bats the moon around and eventually slips it into his pocket. Meanwhile, a trio of village elders meet up to go get drunk at the local tavern, noticing en route that it’s especially dark that night and that someone seems to have stolen the moon. The devil responds by sending a snowstorm to bury the three revelers, who become separated in the blizzard but in true can-do spirit, two manage never the less to reach the tavern.

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Keith Allison is the chief Bacchanologist at Teleport City.

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It left me gnumb

A Gnome Named GnormThe Stan Winston directed movie A Gnome Named Gnorm is an especially moronic and annoying comedy that’s understandably unknown.

Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Hollywood Nightmare

MULHOLLAND DRIVE

feat37Mulholland Drive is my favorite film from one of my favorite directors. It’s a film that rewards the dedicated viewer. First, by confusing them and making one think about what the hell is going on. Later, once you have figured out the structure of the film and what the second half means to the first, there is still so much the film has to offer. It’s culmination of all of David Lynch’s sundry obsessions and themes, a tragic tale of the Hollywood meat grinder as filtered through the lens of nostalgia and affection for that very same meat grinder.

 

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Keith Allison is the chief Bacchanologist at Teleport City.

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Cheating on the B-Masters for a Rather Different Anniversary

Some of you may have noticed that I sort of have a thing for the Cold War.  So does the guy who writes Checkpoint Telstar.  Consequently, I thought of him immediately when I realized it was the 25th anniversary of the revolution in East Germany which signaled the end of that era, and we put together a little bilateral roundtable-like thingy to celebrate:

 

Then I also reviewed a couple movies that don’t fit with the main program:

 

Double Dragon (1994), in which a nominal adaptation of an early chopsocky video game goes in peculiar directions indeed…

and…

Unknown World (1951), in which a journey to the center of the Earth goes nowhere at all.

 
 
 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.