The B-Masters Cabal

Back from the Grave and Ready to Party!

Archive for November, 2016

“No Escape” is right

Nov 30

Posted by lyzard in Sock-Hunting | 19 Comments

So I said to The Rev the other day—when I was still young and light-hearted—“I have two more Amityville sequels to go, plus the one they haven’t released yet.”

Apparently I’ve been asleep at the switch:

  • Amityville Asylum (2013)
  • Amityville Death House (February 2015)
  • Amityville: Vanishing Point (April 2016)
  • Amityville Playhouse (April 2016)
  • The Amityville Legacy (June 2016)
  • The Amityville Terror (August 2016)
  • Amityville: No Escape (August 2016)
  • Amityville: The Awakening (aka “The One They Haven’t Released Yet”) (January 2017)

It’s as if someone noticed I was getting close to finishing a franchise—“Put half-a-dozen pieces of low-budget crap into production, STAT!!”

So right now I’m feeling a bit like this:

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The Good, the Bad, and the Muppets from Hell

Nov 29

Posted by Braineater in New Reviews | 11 Comments

HELLO DOLLY

A (cough) typically scary scene from 'Zapatlela'

Following up on Lyz’s typically brilliant take on Child’s Play, it’s time switch gears a little to take a look at the ways in which Tom Holland’s groundbreaking film was interpreted, re-interpreted, re-re-interpreted and mis-interpreted by the various cinema industries in India…

Child’s Play in India

The four movies are:

  • Papi Gudia (1996), in which something was definitely lost in translation;
  • Mantra (2005), which gets a surprising number of things right for a movie nobody seems to have ever heard of;
  • Zapatlela (1993), which takes the story in a totally unexpected (and very silly) direction; and
  • Ammo Bomma (2001), in which Indian cinema turns to an Indian movie for inspiration… and fails to be inspired.

Bah, humbug!

Nov 29

Posted by Greywizard in New Reviews | No Comments

Christmas Is Here AgainThe animated holiday movie Christmas Is Here Again makes Ziggy’s Gift look… well… even better than perfect in comparison.

BFF…and E…and E…

Nov 28

Posted by lyzard in New Reviews | 8 Comments

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Saving the best banner for last…

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CHILD’S PLAY (1988)

…in which the world’s most terrifying doll becomes much less scary once it is possessed by the soul of a serial killer…

 

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Ventriloquism 101

Nov 25

Posted by lyzard in House-Keeping, New Reviews | 5 Comments

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A personalised banner!? I feel so spoilt…

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DEAD SILENCE (2007)

…in which small-town America must be taught once again that vigilante justice is generally not a good idea…

A lesser entry in the ventriloquist’s dummy sub-genre, Dead Silence at least makes up in quantity what it lacks in quality.

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[NB: Probably NSFW—some grue.]

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We also take another look at the roots of this particular sub-genre, with The Great Gabbo (1929).

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The sexy side of gladiators

Nov 19

Posted by Greywizard in New Reviews | No Comments

The ArenaWhile the Roger Corman production The Arena may have had a promising premise – female slaves forced into gladiator fights – something went wrong during the actual execution.

The Rev is SUCH a know-it-all…

Nov 15

Posted by lyzard in House-Keeping, New Reviews | 13 Comments

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You know, I used to wish for a man who could understand me; but now that I have one, it’s actually a little creepy…

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PUPPET MASTER III: TOULON’S REVENGE (1991)

A prequel which contradicts pretty much everything we’ve been told so far about Andre Toulon and his puppets.

But hey! – Nazis vs Killer Puppets!

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I have also revised and added screenshots to Puppet Master (1989), and transferred over Puppet Master II (1991).

And because I roundly criticised the latter with reference to The Mummy (1932), I’ve transferred that over, too.

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[NB: The Puppet Master films are probably NSFW: there’s quite a lot of blood and a bit of almost-nudity.]

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Whoa-o, it’s halfway there…

Nov 9

Posted by Greywizard in New Reviews | 5 Comments

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Attack Of The Beast CreaturesSo-bad-it’s-good status is just missed with Attack Of The Beast Creatures. There is unintentional comic gold in them thar dolls… just not enough to make it essential viewing.