From the director of one of the worst castaway on a deserted island movies ever made comes Lovewrecked, which is… one of the worst castaway on a deserted island movies ever made.

With care, such as giving a hot woman major firepower, Everly shows you can make a great action movie set almost entirely in one confined space.

It’s been a long time since I did one of these, hasn’t it?

 

Big Man Japan (2007), in which a Japanese TV comic asks, “What if it really sucked to be Ultraman?”…

Bloodrayne (2005), in which Uwe Boll does all the same crap he usually did in his heyday, but it brings me no pleasure this time…

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (1973), in which Nathan Juran just isn’t cut out for the 70’s…

The Children (1980), in which Three Mile Island could have been worse…

and…

Thrilling Bloody Sword (1981), in which a bunch of Taiwanese guys raid the entire corpus of Western (or West of them, at any rate) fantasy adventure literature for source material, and make the strangest sword-and-sorcery flick I’ve seen in ages.

 

I’ve also got another newly rebuilt review:

 

The Phantom of the Opera (1943), in which I’m able at last to explain why it sucks, instead of just how.