Archive for May, 2024

Italian cavemen make war, not love

IronmasterDespite being full of issues, Ironmaster remains a strangely watchable take on a pre-spaghetti world.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

This soldier is A.W.O.L. – Always wooden or lethargic

The SoldierIt tries to be a gritty Cold War thriller, but The Soldier mostly just ends up leaving you cold.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

The final word on slasher spoofs

The Final GirlsJust when you think the slasher genre has been spoofed to death, The Final Girls shows up and proves there is still potent comic blood in those veins.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

My First Visits to Normal Theaters for 2024

Another theater-heavy update for what’s shaping up to be a theater-heavy year, this time including reviews of a couple first-run films along with one last B-Fest straggler and something I caught in revival:

 

Delicatessen (1991), in which some French eccentrics see the funny side to the end of the world…

Demonic Toys (1992), in which one of Hell’s less competent devils tried to incarnate himself, but got stuck haunting a toy warehouse instead…

Dirty Ho (1979), in which a tricky prince blackmails a thief into becoming his bodyguard…

Dune, Part Two (2024), in which a messiah is the last thing you want running loose on your planet, even if you don’t belong to a clan of colonizing tyrants…

The Five Deadly Venoms (1978), in which murder mysteries play very differently when they’re resolved by frenetic kung fu fights…

and…

Immaculate (2024), in which forcing a woman to carry a clone of Jesus is just as much a dick move as forcing her to mother the Antichrist.

 

 

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.