A leading cause of cinemaphobia

PhobiaThe legendary John Huston directs the Canadian horror movie Phobia, an especially taxing tax shelter production.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

These Went Up About a Week Ago

I cast a somewhat wider net with this update than I’ve managed to do in a while:

 

Crippled Avengers (1978), which isn’t 12.5% as squirmy as that other kung fu movie with “crippled” in the title…

Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay (1971), in which King Arthur’s evil half-sister decides that collecting hot chicks is way more fun than thwarting Grail quests and tricking knights into betting each other their heads…

The Invincible Kung Fu Brothers (1976), in which Chang Cheh’s fourth Shaolin Temple movie looks remarkably like his second…

Shaolin Temple (1976), in which the fifth one, on the other hand, breaks quite a bit of new ground…

Mutant (1984), which isn’t about mutants so much as it is about acidic zombies and ornery rednecks…

The Red House (1947), which always gets awkwardly shoehorned into discussions about film noir and the most aridly fallow period of American horror cinema, even though it’s really a very well-disguised gothic mystery…

and…

Teenage Zombies (1959), in which I regret to inform you that Jerry Warren is at it again.

 

 

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

The lighter side of… euthanasia

Grace QuigleyEven those with a taste for misguided movies from Cannon Films will find Grace Quigley to be very heavy going.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Good old American violence and mayhem

Action U.S.A.A remarkably dumb script doesn’t hurt Action U.S.A. too much, thanks to the movie containing plenty of… action!
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Mann is the man

The Jericho MileMichael Mann made his movie directing debut with The Jericho Mile, and oh, what a glorious debut it was.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Not so magic carpet ride

Arabian AdventureUnless you’ve always longed to see Christopher Lee and Mickey Rooney cast in the same movie, Arabian Adventure is unlikely to give you much enjoyment.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Ringo Starr gets by without a little help from his friends

BlindmanFormer Beatles drummer Ringo Starr plays a Mexican bandit in the spaghetti western Blindman, which shows off his trademark meanness and cruelty well.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Worth the Wait, I Hope

Bigger update than usual this time, because I got blocked on two of the reviews I originally set out to write, and just kept throwing more movies on the pile in the hope that writing about one thing with the front of my brain would eventually enable the back of it to find weak points in the pieces that were fighting me:

 

Assault on Precinct 13 (1976), which might sound like a typical copaganda flick when you boil it down to one sentence, but has a whole lot more going on beneath the surface…


The Bikeriders (2023), which, in contrast, is exactly, gloriously the movie it looks like from a distance…

Cruise into Terror (1978), in which the Love Boat runs off course en route to Fantasy Island, and has to detour through an entire season of “In Search Of”…

Deathdream (1972), in which a soldier finds it difficult to restart his old life back home after he’s killed in action in Vietnam…

Escape from New York (1981), in which a Green Beret turned terrorist without a cause gets dragooned into rescuing the President of the United States from the very same dystopian urban prison camp where he was supposed to be spending the rest of his life…

Heroes of the East (1978), which sounds from the title like an absolutely generic kung fu movie, but turns out to be a chopsocky take on The Taming of the Shrew instead…

Hotline (1982), in which a bartender takes a new job answering phones at a psychiatric crisis hotline, and finds herself playing a dangerous game with a repeat caller who claims to be a serial killer…

Messiah of Evil (1974), in which a woman’s search for her artist weirdo dad unexpectedly takes her to the epicenter of an emergent apocalypse that would probably still have defied description even if the movie had actually been finished…

The Space Children (1958), in which even aliens understand that everything that goes wrong on Earth always ends up being a problem for the next generation to fix…

and…

Starcrash (1978), the Italian Star Wars cash-in so ludicrous, it HALTS THE FLOW OF TIME!

 

 

 

 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

I don’t want my mummy!

The Mummy LivesAfter Cannon Films’ head honchos Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus split up, things were never the same again for either producer, the Globus-produced The Mummy Lives being just one shoddy example.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

It’s The Unknown Movies’ 1000th review. Live with it.

Movie MovieThe utterly delightful Movie Movie shows a great love for movies while effectively poking gentle fun at them.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.