THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

In what’s got to be the most frustrating piece of B-movie news in a long time, it’s been announced that the new (if a movie that’s been sitting on the shelf since late 2014 can be called “new”) Amityville movie has been pulled from release yet again. It was originally scheduled to be released at the end of June, but is now on indefinite hold.

My guess is we’ll be able to see this movie’s eventual remake long before we get to see the actual movie.

So I said to The Rev the other day—when I was still young and light-hearted—“I have two more Amityville sequels to go, plus the one they haven’t released yet.”

Apparently I’ve been asleep at the switch:

• Amityville Asylum (2013)
• Amityville Death House (February 2015)
• Amityville: Vanishing Point (April 2016)
• Amityville Playhouse (April 2016)
• The Amityville Legacy (June 2016)
• The Amityville Terror (August 2016)
• Amityville: No Escape (August 2016)
• Amityville: The Awakening (aka “The One They Haven’t Released Yet”) (January 2017)

It’s as if someone noticed I was getting close to finishing a franchise—“Put half-a-dozen pieces of low-budget crap into production, STAT!!”

So right now I’m feeling a bit like this:

.

.

.

Blake Matthews is one of our first (and only) designated groupies, keeping up with just about every venue in which the various Cabalists make themselves known. It is only good form, therefore, to note that Blake has also joined the ranks of the procreative:

I am happy to announce to you all the birth of our first child. Susan da Silva Matthews was born at 9:15 p.m. (Sao Paulo time) at the Santa Joana Hospital here in São Paulo. While I don’t recall her height(length), she is a big girl, weighing in at 8.1 lbs (cut me some slack, I have to convert everything from kilograms).

By all reports, mother and daughter (and father) are doing well. Me, I’m just tickled that I was on the list of people to be contacted. Congrats, Blake!

(There were two photos attached to the email, but Susan didn’t look any happier in the other one. Methinks she’s a little miffed at her change of accommodations.)

Nathan

It’s just outside the town of Cashel, Co. Tipperary, Ireland. It’s a long, long way to Tipperary, but your sock… is there.

Oh, wait, here it is. Never mind.