The gorilla suit.
The diving helmet.
The legend.
Pages
- About the Cabal
- Full Index of Reviews
- Roundtables
- 01: Brainathon ’99
- 02: Bangs'n'Whimpers
- 03: Post-Apocalypso
- 04: Review All Monsters
- 05: Pretty Mad Scientists
- 06: Tainted Love
- 07: Days of Future Past
- 08: Secret Santa
- 09: Catch a Throwing Star
- 10: Four-Color Features
- 11: Big Bugs
- 12: Fish With Bicycles
- 13: Go Go Go-Go Boys!
- 14: paLe IMITATIONS
- 15: We're Gonna Need a Bigger Roundtable
- 16: Whoa… Deja Vu.
- 17: Month of the Living Dead
- 18: B-Masters Beach Party
- 19: Kinji Fukasaku – The Man No Genre Could Tame.
- 20: Home Video Holocaust – The Video Nasties
- 21: Father Dearest: Who's Your Daddy?
- 22: So Sorry…
- 23: Back to the Well
- 24: Another Month of the Living Dead
- 25: The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back
- 26: Rubber Soul
- 27: Shhhhhh
- 28: Month of the Alternative Living Dead
- 29: On Time & Under Budget
- 30: These Kids Today…
- 31: Mea maxima culpa
- 32: Stingathon ’09
- 33: 10,000 B.S.
- 34: Foot Notes
- 35: Don’t Touch That Dial!
- 36: He Conquered the World
- 37: Secret Santa’s Revenge
- 38: At the Movies of Madness
- 39: They Might Be Giants
- 40: The Other Elizabeth Taylor
- 41: The Dark Guys of London
- 42: Falling Stars
- 43: To Be or Not To Be! (Pilot Error)
- 44: Teeth and Tentacles
- 45: Brunoween
- 46: Howl of the B-Masters
- 47: It’s Alive!
- 48: Bad, Black and Beautiful
- 49: Don’t Quit Your Day Job
- 50: B-Mentia 15
- 51: Quelle Horreur!
- 52: Carradine, Thou Wayward Son!
- 53: Tall, Dark and Gruesome
- 54: Pets Gone Wild
- 55: The Bad Place
- 56: From The Bible To Barbarella
- 57: A Fistful Of Pennies
- 58: Hello, Dolly
- 59: No, Not That One!
- 60: Dr Terror’s House Of Honours
- 61: WTF!?
- 62: In The Key Of B
- 63: The Forgotten Dawn Of Horror
- 64: The Most Dangerous Roundtable
- 65: Room For One More
- 66: Were-WHAT?
- 67: The China Anniversary Syndrome
- 68: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 2
- 69: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 3
- 70: The China Anniversary Syndrome: Part 4
- The Links We Love
#1 by hman on May 12, 2008 - 5:24 am
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When I bought this movie many years ago, my brother, who doesn’t generally like this sort of film, actually was excited to watch it because it was going to be the first film that both of us would ever see in 3-D.
#2 by KeithA on May 12, 2008 - 8:55 am
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Truly a giant among bad films. I never get tired of it.
#3 by Ed on May 12, 2008 - 11:45 am
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Great job, Liz.
#4 by lyzard on May 12, 2008 - 4:57 pm
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Well, obviously, Keith, it should have been you going to those double-bills with me, and not my brother.
Feh. What a wuss!
#5 by Baron Scarpia on May 13, 2008 - 1:32 am
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Once more I curse the Gods that there are too many films in the world. No matter how many I watch, more appear out of nowhere demanding my instant attention. It’s enough to make grown men weep, I tells ya…
#6 by Chadly on May 13, 2008 - 2:47 am
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You can almost here Tucker yelling “Keep moving! Go, George. GO! You’re still in frame!”
Love this movie — so right in its wrongness that it transcends to greatness.
#7 by KeithA on May 13, 2008 - 9:30 am
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My goal is to visit Australia in 2010, provided Scotland doesn’t bankrupt me this year. I’ll bring the 3D glasses.
#8 by lyzard on May 13, 2008 - 4:54 pm
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Thank you for the thought, but don’t bother. My eyesight being what it is, I have a deep and abiding hatred of 3-D.
#9 by lyzard on May 13, 2008 - 4:55 pm
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So, Baron! We meet again! Mwoo-ha-ha-ha-ha! (She said, as her plan to drive the Baron insane by introducing him to all the looniest movies in the world began to bear fruit.)
#10 by Baron Scarpia on May 14, 2008 - 1:30 am
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Lyz, I just watched a charming little low budget film called Penetration Angst, one of the three worst films I’ve ever seen in my entire life. In other words, I think I’ve already reached insanity.
#11 by The Rev. D.D. on May 14, 2008 - 10:22 am
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I still haven’t seen it.
And I don’t even have an excuse any more. It’s in that giant 50-pack of “Sci-Fi Classics” I got for Xmas a couple years ago.
I want to see it. I have every intention to do so.
And yet I have not done so.
I am full of shame.
After reading Lyz’s great review, and rereading Ken’s similarly great review, I hereby resolve to watch it this weekend, come hell or high water, and finally cross it off my “to-watch” list.
And if I don’t, I’m going to inflict Blood Tide on myself again.
With no fast forward this time.
That’ll learn me.
#12 by lyzard on May 14, 2008 - 9:11 pm
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You know, I can’t help wondering if there’s something peculiar about the air in that cave. First we get Ro-Man molesting a human female, and then, well, look how Gor behaved once he got control of John Agar’s hands.
#13 by supersonic on May 14, 2008 - 9:56 pm
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Penetration Angst is a blast. Teeth is totally just a cheap ripoff of it.
Excellent and entertaining review as always, Lz.
#14 by lyzard on May 14, 2008 - 11:19 pm
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After that double recommendation, it’s on The List.
(And thanks!)
#15 by Matthew Fudge on May 15, 2008 - 5:07 am
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It’s a great cave. I think it also gets some action as penal colony in Star Trek 6…. and no doubt many alien planet appearances in the original.
#16 by lyzard on May 15, 2008 - 6:03 pm
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“….and if you’ll look to the left, you’ll see the place where Kirk fought the Gorn….”
#17 by Matthew Fudge on May 16, 2008 - 4:43 am
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It’s a testament to the buzzing hive of creativity that is hollywood that I can recognise a cave in a place I’ve never been about 6000 miles from where I live….
“OK everybody this one’s set in the far distance future on a another planet.. suggestions?”
“How about just over there by the carpark?”
#18 by The Rev. D.D. on May 16, 2008 - 11:11 pm
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I inflicted it on myself tonight. Whooo, nelly. Painful stuff.
It was observed that Ro-Man’s constant gesticulations may have been the inspiration for those of Goldar, Rita Repulsa’s henchman on “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.” And perhaps many many professional wrestlers as well.
Poor George, wandering the desert in that costume. I could never have done it without demanding some cash. I don’t care how good a friend you are, you’re going to need to owe me big time for that little favor…
And the arm….oh, the arm is absolutely GLORIOUS. I’m not sure about the watch, but I’m certain I saw a shirtsleeve at one point.
“Oh. My. GOD” indeed.
#19 by supersonic on May 17, 2008 - 12:58 am
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Those gesticulations are what happens when you tell someone to act, and he can’t use his face.
I dig how the voice guy reads the lines not like an actor, but like a radio announcer.
#20 by Chadly on May 17, 2008 - 6:38 pm
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All apologies to Mr. Shakespeare, but…
“Hath not a Ro-Man eyes? Hath not a Ro-Man hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same calcinator death-rays, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Hu-Man is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? At what point do these two ideals connect on the graph? Why can this not be in the plan?!? Therefore if we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. We cannot but we must. For if a Ro-Man wrong a Hu-Man, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Hu-Man wrong a Ro-Man, what should his sufferance be by Hu-Man example? Why, revenge; a revenge most indescribable. Fact: the villany you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction. There is no escape from me!”
— Agent X-J2, “The Merchant of Ro-Man”, Act III Scene I
#21 by lyzard on May 18, 2008 - 4:17 pm
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Well, that’s another one over the edge….
#22 by The Rev. D.D. on May 18, 2008 - 8:33 pm
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[b]”I dig how the voice guy reads the lines not like an actor, but like a radio announcer.”[/b]
“You are tuned in to RMAN easy listening mu-sak. I am the Great Guidance, taking you into the second iteration of your erroneously-calculated ‘rush hour.’ We shall be calculating the traffic of your inferior hu-man earth conveyances as they bring your amusing city to a standstill. Fact: traffic is very slow around Latimer and the I-80 exchange. Fact: there is an accident causing standstills on north I-35. Calculate your chances of getting home before the sun passes the horizon now! Negative. Negative. Negative.
“Our upcoming program shall include the mu-sak of Enya, John Tesh, and Vanessa Williams. We shall also be giving you a chance to win tickets to the upcoming Sarah MacLachlan concert, to be held at the Quest Arena in 20 rotations. But first, a word from the sponsor of my broadcast, the hu-man product known as Oval-teen…”
#23 by lyzard on May 18, 2008 - 9:04 pm
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Aaaaaaaaand over goes the Rev.
You know, I’m starting to feel guilty.
#24 by supersonic on May 18, 2008 - 9:52 pm
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Guilt… remorse… self-loathing… why are these things not in the plan?
#25 by Baron Scarpia on May 19, 2008 - 8:59 am
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I shouldn’t worry, Lyz. We do it to ourselves, you just provide the catalyst…
#26 by The Rev. D.D. on May 20, 2008 - 8:47 am
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I was over a loooooooong time ago. I just usually hide it well!
I planned to inflict this movie way back when I read Mr. Begg’s review.
Although, I guess you were the catalyst reminding me I had the movie and needed to watch it, so…OK, blame’s on you!
Anyway, I’d think you’d be glad for all the people going over the edge lately.
We can keep you company! *ducks and covers*