I know that you — all of you! — love my occasional entries in the “Gives Me Chills” post series, and wish they could be more frequent. Hey, I’m with you, but there are only so many DVD covers produced without the benefit of design competence.
There’s not such a scarcity in books, though. With the groundswell in self-publishing via Kindle and CreateSpace, there are scads and oodles of authors who think that just because they’re competent to string words together in a sentence (itself often a self-assessed competency), they can design their own book covers. Or hire their friend to do it — a friend who promptly subcontracts the task to his teenage daughter because she’s really better at that there PhotoShop thing.
It is thus with mingled horror and glee that I announce Horrendous Book Covers, a tumblog slapdashedly thrown together by little ol’ me to showcase the underwhelming excesses of DIY cover designers. So far I’ve mostly restrained myself from snide commentary — the covers speak for themselves, really — but my self-control on that front could easily slip in the days ahead.
I leave you with one final thought:
There. Consider yourself warned.
#1 by Mr. Rational on October 13, 2011 - 11:44 am
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Great Gatsby! I can’t wait to look these over…
#2 by Gentle Benj on October 13, 2011 - 5:46 pm
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Just when I think I’ve absorbed and endured every aesthetic haymaker punch this cover can dish out–the awkward title, the nauseous mixture of photos, paperdolls and (do my eyes deceive me?) Minecraft, THAT DOTTED LINE–I get to the author’s name.
Which is in COMIC SANS.
PINK COMIC SANS.
#3 by Prankster on October 19, 2011 - 3:51 pm
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Yeah, the pink comic sans is definitely the kicker.
#4 by Cullen on October 13, 2011 - 8:30 pm
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Now here I was thinking the Comic Sans was the best part of the cover.
But then again I don’t get the Comic Sans hate. This might be do to me having to witness what true bad lettering looks like every time I write something down.
#5 by Naomi on October 15, 2011 - 1:07 am
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When you write something down, no matter how bad you think it looks, at least the lettering is unique to you.
Comic Sans hatred stems largely from the font’s ubiquity. It’s designed to look kind of like hand-lettering, but everyone knows it’s Comic Sans because it’s everywhere. It is to handwriting what meat-flavored tofu is to meat.
#6 by Cullen on October 15, 2011 - 9:50 am
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Thank you kindly for the explanation. The level of outrage that it generates still makes no sense to me. But then again I can’t understand why anyone would want to use Comic Sans in the first place. Or most any font beyond Times New Roman and Trebunchet
#7 by DamonD on October 14, 2011 - 3:48 am
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That actually made me lean forward in my seat for a closer look. It rewards closer exception, nay, demands closer inspection.
Beats the hell out of Dreamspell Revenge, at least.
#8 by El Santo on October 14, 2011 - 6:57 am
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I’m just marveling over the fact that it’s apparently book three in a series. Can you imagine what the cover to book one must have looked like?
#9 by Nathan Shumate on October 14, 2011 - 8:50 am
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Why imagine?
http://www.amazon.com/Christmas-House-OByrne-Druantias-Children/dp/1609030001/
#10 by The Rev. on October 14, 2011 - 5:19 pm
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So, the covers have actually gotten worse…
#11 by Nathan Shumate on October 14, 2011 - 6:45 pm
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I would say that the covers have gotten more ambitious while the skill level has stayed the same.
#12 by The Rev. on October 15, 2011 - 10:30 pm
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I dunno…I think it’s better they not get ambitious. More room for failure there. Plus, I like that odd cat critter.
#13 by Joshua on October 15, 2011 - 2:55 am
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So, someone is writing Firelord fanfic? It’s nice to see Galactus’ other heralds get some attention once in a while.
#14 by The Rev. on October 15, 2011 - 10:28 pm
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His name WAS Firelord! Dammit. I tried to make that joke earlier, but wasn’t sure of the name. Then I ended up forgetting about it before I could look him up.
#15 by Joshua on October 16, 2011 - 2:10 am
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Is it a source of pride or shame that I can remember all of their names?
#16 by Jen S on October 15, 2011 - 12:23 pm
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OH. Oh, dear.
Why do I get the feeling this cover artist got a lot of “Everybody Gets A Trophy” awards in middle school?
#17 by Krillion on October 26, 2026 - 1:16 pm
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The point about self-publishing flooding the world with covers designed by someone’s cousin who “knows PhotoShop” rings true — the same optimism that says stringing sentences together qualifies you to design a jacket. There’s a particular horror in a cover that promises one thing and delivers another, which is why curated galleries of bad design are so satisfying to scroll through. When I need a break from cataloguing other people’s aesthetic misjudgments, I’ve been ducking into quick rounds of krillion.me, a free browser word game that asks a lot less of my critical eye.
#18 by Mimic Party on October 26, 2026 - 1:42 pm
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The bit about the friend subcontracting the cover to his teenage daughter because she’s “good at that PhotoShop thing” lands perfectly — self-publishing really did open the floodgates for DIY design that probably should’ve stayed in the drafts folder. It’s a good reminder that taste and tools aren’t the same thing. When I want a break from all that aesthetic horror, I’ve been messing around with mimicparty.me, a free browser bluffing game that’s a nice low-stakes distraction.
#19 by Noillirk on October 26, 2026 - 2:03 pm
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The bit about self-published authors subcontracting cover design to a friend’s teenage daughter with PhotoShop rings true — the whole “competent to string words together” assumption does a lot of quiet damage. Bad covers are almost more fascinating than good ones because you can see the exact moment the design logic fell apart. It’s a nice palate cleanser to switch from judging covers to something with fixed rules, like the daily word game at noillirk.app.
#20 by Baper Rasta on October 29, 2026 - 8:34 pm
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Solid point on In case you’re not being given enough chills… I know that you — all of you!. I would not force a connection to games/AI here — just noting baperrasta.app (free browser Dhaka driving game) as a light break tool.