Please go HERE for an explanation of what went wrong in April 2013, and why so many posts and comments have gone missing. Go HERE for a (so far incomplete) list of the B-Masters’ reviews that got unlinked after the server crash. Our reviews continue below.
Apr 19
As a result of the Great Server Crash of 2013, all the B-Masters’ posts from June 2012 to November 2012, and mid-January 2013 to April 2013, have been lost. Fortunately, these posts were links to the reviews… not the reviews themselves, most of which are still available. There are two major exceptions: Teleport City is currently undergoing a redesign and a site-move, so many of its reviews are currently off-line; while Nathan Shumate’s Cold Fusion Video was entirely hosted on the same servers as the B-Masters site, and is currently in limbo.
The following is a (not yet complete) list of the reviews that were announced here during those time periods:
1000 Misspent Hours
And You Call Yourself A Scientist!
BadMovies.Org
Braineater
Jabootu’s Bad Movie Dimension
The Unknown Movies
More to come, as the restoration work continues…
Will Laughlin is the Braineater.Our regular readers are probably wondering what happened to us at the beginning of April 2013. That’s when our site suddenly disappeared from the Internet. Conspiracy theories began to circulate: according to one, the entire Cabal was a pseudonymous effort by Jess Franco, which ceased to exist at the same moment he did. Other rumors said basically the same thing about Roger Ebert. These rumors may be ignored.
In fact, what had happened is this: the brilliant technicians at the B-Masters’ Internet hosting company suddenly started wondering what would happen if they pushed the big, red button marked SELF-DESTRUCT. The results were spectacular. They told us all about it in an email composed by the light of our burning backup tapes — the only email any of us had ever read that came through written in crayon.
OK, OK: venom aside, it seems the very same technology that was supposed to keep our data safe malfunctioned and killed it all instead. Apparently everybody else whose site was hosted by this company was in the same situation… with no site, no backup and no recourse. This means we’re scrambling to reconstitute as much of the B-Masters’s site as we can, while we look for a slightly more reputable host.
If you registered to post on this site after February 2012, I’m sorry to say your account and your comments have disappeared into the void. We’re deeply upset by the loss of so many discussions with our readers. We may be able to restore our posts that have temporarily disappeared; but we will not be able to bring back those vivid and lively interactions we’ve had in the comments. Please do not let this dissuade you from rejoining us and participating in future discussions! We’re going to be much more careful about backing up our data from now on.
Will Laughlin is the Braineater.Aug 12
While I was on vacation, one of y’all hit a baseball through the window of the Cabal clubhouse and broke something; on the front page, the sidebar loads beneath the main content instead of beside it. Better ‘fess up if you want your ball back.
Update: Fixed it. HTML, it’s so delicate at times…
In the meantime, you can thrill to the action as tough guy George Raft walks all over London in I’ll Get You (1952). No, that’s not all he does, silly. Sometimes he takes a cab.
…so instead of doing anything productive, I changed the theme. Because the only time you see this Mormon drunk is when he’s drunk with power!
Oct 20
Attention, fellow Caballists: there will be a hosting shift in the next day or two. You are encouraged to hold your posts until you hear the all-clear.
Readers, you might also want to hold back on comments, or else they might vanish into the aether.
Update:
The eagle has landed! You may now carry on in the carefree yet tasteful fashion that is the hallmark of our patrons.
We hope you enjoyed your surprise return to August. There was some hosting switchover stuff going on behind the scenes. We are now firmly ensconced in the present, and shall move boldly forward into the future!!!
After a long silence, The Unknown Movies is back and reviewing those obscure movies that nobody has heard of. Check out the new reviews of SALVATION (J.A. Steel of THE THIRD SOCIETY strikes again) and THE HUNTING PARTY (not the wimpy Richard Gere movie, but the he-man 1971 western)!
Jun 1
Due to personal issues for one of us, and technical issues for others, the RUBBER SOUL Roundtable has been officially extended until Sunday, 8th June. So expect to see one, hopefully two, maybe even three—
No, I guess that’s overly optimistic. Let’s make it, expect to see two more Roundtable entries during the upcoming week!
As the nominal webmaster here, I want to wish you and yours a happy and safe Christmas/Hannukah/Solstice/Festivus/Whatever. (I can’t wish you a happy Kwanzaa, because I’m far too white, and thus would be excoriated for my social inauthenticity.)
