Good thing they labelled it “exploitation movie,” or I might have mistaken it for the latest Criterion release.
Archive for category Gives Me Chills
Gives Me Chills, Pt. XIII.
May 19
Gives Me Chills, Pt. XII.
Mar 23
Betcha can’t guess what the secret is!
But before the winner, the runners-up! Because you all should see what we saw.
In no particular order:
Birdemic: Shock & Terror, the original:
…and two entries, from Christopher Swindell and Doctor Mabuse:
With a Mouse (to Your Mouth), the original…
…and an entry from Christopher Swindell:
And now the winner, remaking the cover of what was the first DVD featured in “Gives Me Chills,” Grave Danger. The original…
…and the redesign by David Foster:
Congratulations, David! You win… a free ebook copy of my novel The Demon Cross! Yes, I’ve been giving out free copies recently, but this one comes without the obligation to review it! (Though you can if you want to, of course.) Let me know what format you’d like it in.
Thanks for playing, everybody!
Just a reminder: The “Gives Me Chills” re-covering contest ends in one week. Full details here.
A great idea was posted in the last “Gives Me Chills” post’s comments: Why not have a PhotoShop contest, with readers and participants giving their new, improved covers for the movies mocked in the series?
To the Batcave!
Here are the rules, then. Pick a previous entry on “Gives Me Chills” (I’ve just added a new category for them, so just click here) and design a new cover, using either elements of the existing cover or new images of your own gathering. (Since this isn’t for commercial use, I’m not going to require you to use public domain or Creative Commons-licensed images, but if your design is overwhelmingly based on someone else’s image, you ought to credit it. Don’t you think?)
You MAY NOT change the title. Sorry. Other text is fair game, though.
Contest will end March 10th. Entries will be judged by the combined Cabal in closed conclave; criteria will not only be improvement over the existing cover, effectiveness in still portraying the same movie in the best light, and general design. Prize will be… I dunno. I’ve got stuff. I’ll find something.
Send all entries to chillscontest@gmail.com. Contest will end March 10th.
Let all of your Worth1000-wannabe buddies know!
Gives Me Chills, Pt. XI.
Feb 22
This installment of “Gives Me Chills” (and no, I never knew that this would be a continuing series when I started) is kind of special. I know that the movie in question has been floating around for at least two or three years, looking for distribution. You can kinda tell, too; the subject matter is something that was all over the news several crises ago, and then was dropped by the ADHD-afflicted mainstream media when a new apocalyptically-overkilled potential catastrophe overtook and almost-but-didn’t-quite killed us all.
Anyway. I saw this bandied about on industry messageboards for a couple of years, always a laughingstock, and always with some lame key art. I had hoped that, if ever it got a for-real distributor, they’d find some way to market it better.
They didn’t.
Gives Me Chills, Pt. X.
Feb 16
Amazon has the release date for this movie as October 6, 2009, but they have never had the cover available for view. I found it listed on eBay, and I discovered why:
No, the director’s last name isn’t “Hayden’s,” or even “Haydens.” It’s “Hayden.” Why the possessive? THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, MAN! THAT’S THE NATURE OF ART!!
Edit: Oh, and someone with the coincidental name of “Taylor” posted this in a five-star review on the Amazon page:
People making a movie find a curse is with it.Everything goes horribly wrong…in a horrible way. With Jael from “Americas Nxt Top Model” and Isabelle from Bravos “Make Me A Suprmodel”. To watch a preview go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUKNxHJf1uw
Somebody else look. I’m scared to.
Gives Me Chills, Pt. IX.
Dec 21
This DVD cover gets featured not because of the graphics (nothing to write home about, but certainly no worse than the average direct-to-video genre flick), but because of the title:
You look in vain for some sign that, maybe, it’s one of those charming mistranslations of something that makes perfect sense in its native tongue (usually Japanese). But no. They just ran out of good titles.
Gives Me Chills, Pt. VIII.
Nov 24
I had a couple to choose from this week, but I think I have to go with the one that’s an action cop thingie, rather than the one that’s straight horror because, well:
I understand how impoverished a microbudget production is. Really I do. But snapping pics on the set with your cell phone still isn’t nearly as good as having a real production photographer. Honest.
(What? You want to see the horror cover that was the runner-up? Fine. Click here.)
Gives Me Chills, Pt. VII.
Nov 16
I’ll let other people give you the details on the restored Metropolis two-disc set or the Criterion Collection edition of Night of the Hunter out today, or even the documentary Best Worst Movie about Troll 2 fandom. Me, I’ve got other fish to fry:
I’m not sure if it’s “the most disturbing film of 2010,” but it’s definitely a contender for the worst DVD cover. Want some more info? Here’s what Amazon says “about the director:”
William E Cheney. As a Director is known for pushing the envelope for new original scripts and the cutting edged look of his films.
The mind boggles.
(And what’s that diagonal legend across the lower half? “Trial Version – www.AudioLabel.com.” That’s right, they couldn’t even spring for the full program, $29.95, before they shipped.)