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Not the 2006 horror movie of the same name, this particular Slither movie is instead a kooky and charming exercise that could only have come out of the 1970s.

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So, which of these three films of the same title will I be reviewing—

(A) An Oscar-bait drama about race relations in Los Angles?

(B) A controversy-bait drama about literal autoerotica?

or

(C) A low-budget, Hal Needham-esque, The-Exorcist-meets-The-Amazing-Dobermans horror film about a possessed key-ring?

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Pretty obvious when I put it like that, huh?

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CRASH! (1976)

…in which Charles Band takes his very first baby steps towards a killer doll film…

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It’s kind of mystifying that The Mean Season eventually becomes really dumb and weak after starting off extremely smart and strong.

The newly shot footage Roger Corman added to the Italian movie Island Of The Fishmen to make Screamers helps, but it’s not enough.

With Zach Galligan being the star, it doesn’t take a sixth sense to figure out Psychic has to be very underwhelming.

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{*cue sound of loin-girding*}

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THE AMITYVILLE ASYLUM (2013)

…in which a bunch of Brits set out to prove that they can make an Amityville sequel just as cheap, dumb and pointless as any of the American ones.

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While I guess I’m giving King Of The Ants a thumbs up, it was a cinematic experience I’d rather not repeat any time soon.

Las Vegas showgirls are whipped into shape to become mercenaries in Hell Squad. Hey, it could happen. Not in this universe, but it could happen somewhere.

Successfully combining broad comedy with graphic bloodshed is tough to do, but the makers of Blood Diner managed to do it pretty well.

Lions sleep for about two-thirds of a day every day, and you’ll likely join them if you watch Lionheart, despite the movie having a few good touches here and there.