Hellbride (2007) comes from the same writer/producer/director as KillerKiller (2007) but whereas the camp potential of the material in KillerKiller stayed more or less on the periphery, here it’s front and center. The spirit of a betrayed bride who killed the entire wedding party in retaliation still haunts her old engagement ring! Plus, a gang war, and the most non-comedic comedy this side of Bizarro World!
Go Directly to Jail Again
Sep 24
Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41
Shunya Ito’s first entry in the Female Prisoner Scorpion series, Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion, was essentially a women-in-prison picture that combined the action, violence and titillation typical of that subgenre with a striking number of audacious artistic touches. Ito’s second entry, Female Prisoner Scorpion: Jailhouse 41, was a whole other animal entirely. Emboldened, perhaps, by the success of the first film and the amount of creative leeway given him by Toei, Ito this time largely dispensed with genre trappings and delivered a film that was even more obviously the product of a singular directorial vision. Relentlessly bleak and harrowing, yet suffused with a desolate, breathtaking beauty and daring sense of visual invention, Jailhouse 41 is like a nightmare you don’t want to wake up from.
We hope you enjoyed your surprise return to August. There was some hosting switchover stuff going on behind the scenes. We are now firmly ensconced in the present, and shall move boldly forward into the future!!!
Scientists baffled by giant shrimp in Ukraine
Tests are being carried out on a strange creature caught in the Donetsk region of western Ukraine. Images of the weird shrimp-like animal were first captured on a mobile phone camera.
Scientist failed to identify the creature immediately but suspect it could be related to the tadpole shrimp.
These creatures inhabit every continent and can live in virtually any watery area, including puddles.
However, the tadpole shrimp, one of the oldest animals on Earth, does not usually grow bigger than 5-6 centimetres, while the creature caught in Ukraine was almost 20 centimetres long.
Note to Russian Journalists: I know it’s hard to keep focused on such stuff, what with your president murdering you guys all the time, but when picking a photo for an object that’s reportedly huge, something in the photo to scale it against is always helpful.
While the bulk of this issue of Et Al. sees me wandering amongst the dramas, romances and westerns of the thirties and forties, its climax is an unintended Leslie Nielsen double bill. Leslie in a tuxedo, Leslie on the dance-floor, Leslie gets some lovin’, Leslie kicks some butt. It’s more Leslie Nielsen than one woman can handle!
The 1980s brought us a number of cynical views of the future in the movies. Cherry 2000, however, is a more cheerful view of what will be. It’s a sometimes odd little movie (Melanie Griffith as a tracker who can easily battle the dangers of the wasteland?), but it does have its share of pleasures, even though it doesn’t quite work overall. You might even think it better than I did. Check the review out and see if it sounds appealing to you.
"Take my wife — please!"
Sep 17
The Unholy Four (1954) is an unconventional murder mystery, because the victim isn’t dead! Philip Vickers was assaulted and left for dead in Portugal four years ago; finally working through the resulting amnesia, he’s back in England to figure out which of his three “best friends” wanted him out of the picture — and whether his wife had anything to do with it.
In KillerKiller (2007), eight of the worst serial killers in Britain (no, Jack the Ripper’s not among them) are trapped in a version of their prison that looks remarkably like an abandoned asylum, and are picked off one-by-one by a supernatural blonde who turns their favorite murderous scenarios back on them. Yes, this includes a cheerleader costume. And yet, somehow, most of the movie is NOT discernably intended to be campy.
In discussion of Roller Blade and nude kickboxing women, fellow B-Master Lyz asked for nude kickboxing Rutger Hauer in the name of equal representation of the sexes in the sport of nudity. Well, I may not have any nude kickboxing Rutger Hauer, but our next Project VHS review features multiple spread eagle buffalo shots of Robert “Terminator 2” Patrick.
FUTURE HUNTERS
As is often the case with these types of films, I realize that I’m straying a bit too far into the realm of plot synopsis, but once again I feel it’s justified, as there’s not much hope otherwise of explaining just how cracked in the head a film like Future Hunters can manage to be. Because before too long, Michelle and T2 are on the run from a secret society of Nazis who want to get the Spear and use it to cause the apocalypse we saw before the credits. Which is kind of odd, as they couldn’t possibly have possessed the spear the first time they caused the future apocalypse — which is the first and only time I’ll mention the underlying stupidity of the entire time travel plotline, since for starters is gets dropped almost immediately, but mostly because no one should bend themselves out of shape worrying about shoddy time travel threads in Future Hunters, a movie that, soon enough, will present us with everything from an impromptu kungfu film to an army of stone age midgets to a secret society of sexy Filipina Amazons in the jungles of South Asia.
Colour me "ambivalent"
Sep 6
On October 21st, BCI Eclipse will release a double-disc Collector’s Edition of William Grefé’s killer snake film, Stanley. What an age we live in, hey? Stanley stars Chris Robinson as a Seminole Vietnam vet who uses his connection with rattlesnakes to enact vengeance on his enemies. (“Stanley” is the lead snake’s name, BTW.) The film will be anamorphic widescreen, and will come accompanied by commentaries by Grefé and his screenwriter, Gary Crutcher; a 50-minute documentary on the making of the film; and a featurette in which Grefé re-visits locations. In theory, this one’s right up my alley; but given that the film notoriously contains as much real snake killing as its re-make, The Jaws Of Death, did real shark killing….I’m not so sure.
More Warners news. On October 7th, double-discs of The Shuttered Room and It!, and The Brides Of Fu Manchu and The Chamber Of Horrors, will be released. (Odd choice of order, considering that Warners also holds the rights to revered horror icon Christopher Lee’s first outing as the oriental mastermind, The Face Of Fu Manchu.) Again, these will be Best Buy exclusives….although they may not remain so. The previous Warner/Best Buy discs will be re-released for general sale in October. HOWEVER— Word on the street is that Warners’ use of the R-rated cut of When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth (translation: boobies) was a mistake; and that when the film is re-released, they will substitute the G-rated cut (translation: no boobies). So if boobies are of any particular interest to you, you might want to pick up a Best Buy copy ASAP.
(And a public shout-out to Scott Hamilton for nabbing me copies of the first three BB releases.)
Oops! This one nearly slipped by me. September 9th will see the release of the Fox Horror Classics Collection Volume 2. Using the term “horror” rather loosely, this set will consist of the gothic melodrama Dragonwyck, starring Vincent Price and Gene Tierney; the long-MIA Chandu The Magician, with Bela Lugosi in one of his rare post-Dracula hero roles; and Dr Renault’s Secret, with George Zucco as a mad scientist dabbling in Things That Man Was Not Meant To Know.
September 9th also sees a whole slew of earlier releases from MGM/Fox re-packaged as triple-disc sets (although sometimes with four films). The quality of the sets varies from the surprisingly good to the you-gotta-be-kidding-me. This buyer is eyeing off the “Stay Out Of The Water” set (The Alligator People, Lake Placid and Swamp Thing), but there’s something there for most tastes. Details here.