Has This Ever Happened Before?

I’m not sure I’ve ever posted an update in which the newest film reviewed and the oldest were separated by more than a hundred years. At the very least, it can’t have happened more than once or twice.

 

Bad Meat (2011), in which it’s an open question whether the inmates of a reprogramming camp for juvenile delinquents were worse off before or after the camp staff got turned into mindless rage-zombies…

Bones and All (2022), in which awards-bait romance and explicit cannibalism are the two acquired tastes that taste really frigging weird together…

The Frozen Dead (1966), in which the mad scientist and his Nazi paymasters would have a much easier time getting their Fourth Reich up and running if his lab assistant would stop helping

Halloween (2018), in which it’s another open question whether Michael Myers or Laurie Strode is the crazier one this time around…

Planet of the Vampire Women (2011), which comes within a hair’s breadth of living up to all the implications of that title…

Queen of Atlantis (1921), in which H. Rider Haggard’s Ayesha isn’t the only terminally horny sorceress-queen lounging around North Africa seducing European explorers…

and…

School of the Holy Beast (1974), in which I had no idea they made naughty nun movies in Japan!

 

 

 

 

El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

It’s got the prescription for your low drama levels

The DoctorAn examination of The Doctor revealed that this is one medical professional you really need to see.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Frig this Friggin’ movie

A Merry Friggin' ChristmasIn one of his final roles, Robin Williams appeared in the Christmas holiday movie A Merry Friggin’ Christmas, and the finished product may even sour jolly old Santa.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Bruised Lee

The Clones Of Bruce LeeNot only does the Bruceploitation movie The Clones Of Bruce Lee fail to deliver much with its action sequences, it is also surprisingly less campy than you’d think, despite its extremely nutty premise.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

This dead man’s chest is dead, man

ScalawagKirk Douglas not only starred in Scalawag, he also directed and co-wrote it. And… well, let’s just say that it’s unlikely that even the incredibly prolific Kino Lorber video label will give this a stateside disc release any time soon.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

I Don’t Normally Do Halloween Updates…

…because, well, how would you tell the difference anyway? Nevertheless, this particular crop of reviews accidentally ended up being pretty close to a normal person’s idea of what might be appropriate to the season:

 

Count Dracula (1970), in which Harry Alan Towers and Jesus Franco try to con us all into believing they’ve made the Most Faithful Dracula Movie Ever, but the only person they fool is Christopher Lee…

House of the Long Shadows (1983), in which the surviving Horror Geezers gather in a spooky old house to be stalked-and-slashed like a pack of horny teenagers…

The Living Skeleton (1968), in which we begin with watery ghosts, but end with sheer madness…

and…

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (1968), in which Jack Palance sucks even worse than usual, but strangely doesn’t hurt the movie much by doing so.

 

 

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

Could be called a time slip

Where Time BeganThere is a definite pleasing nostalgic feeling to Where Time Began (a.k.a. THE FABULOUS JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH) at times, but it won’t be enough for many viewers to completely carry the movie in this day and age.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Hope This Was Worth the Wait

Long-delayed new reviews at 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting:

 

Effects (1979), in which most of the people making a cheap horror movie that’s really a snuff film think they’re in on the con, but nobody’s in on the whole con…

Halloween II (2009), in which Rob Zombie brings the saga of Michael Myers to an ending that not even an Akkad can walk back…

Nope (2022), in which the unidentified flying object is more importantly a misidentified flying object…

The Northman (2022), in which Hamlet doesn’t give a crap what’s nobler in the mind…

She-Wolf of London (1946), in which the second cycle of Universal Horror makes one last orbit around the drain before plunging in…

Terror Train (1980), or Murder on the Disorient Express

and…

X (2022), in which you don’t have to bring a chainsaw for a Texas Massacre.

 

 

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

Kimchi horror with enough spice

The HostThose Koreans keep knocking them out of the park, and their monster movie The Host is one good example of this.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

A good thriller without a Hitch(cock)

Last EmbraceWhen it comes to imitations of Alfred Hitchcock’s films, Last Embrace is definitely among those that are above average.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.