The B-Masters Cabal

12 Comments

• #1 by Tom Meade on January 26, 2008 - 10:55 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  I am more than a little astonished that someone filmed Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

• #2 by lyzard on January 26, 2008 - 11:02 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  TWICE!! Sword Of The Valiant is a re-make of Stephen Weeks’ own Gawain And The Green Knight from 1973. There’s an old Video Watchdog issue recounting Weeks’ various travails getting these things made, but it’s been years since I read it.

• #3 by The Rev. D.D. on January 26, 2008 - 11:11 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  At first I thought that might be a still from [b]The Iron Warrior[/b], then I realized that, despite his string of horrid hairstyles, this one was too bad to be a part of the Ator cycle.

  Yes, I realize how scary that statement is.
  As well as the fact that I know so much about hairstyles in Ator movies.

• #4 by KeithA on January 26, 2008 - 11:15 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  I still would have liked to hear your thoughts on Sinbad…

• #5 by Ed on January 27, 2008 - 1:23 am

  Reply Quote

  

  I think I recall my senior year high school English teacher showing bits of Sword of the Valiant before showing the class Excalibur. Weird, though to be fair this is a man who would jog his memory by slapping himself in the face.

• #6 by lyzard on January 27, 2008 - 4:21 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  My thoughts on Sinbad? Well, let’s see: how about “HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!!!” – ? Actually, my first impulse in response to this film is to clout Lou Ferrigno upside the head for his treatment of those snakes (after all that, he just left them there!? – and we didn’t even get a scene at the end with Jaffar getting his comeuppance from them!). My second impulse is to throw tantrums until someone buys me one of those piranha puppets. I have an idea that the greatest line of dialogue ever delivered is somewhere in this film, but I can’t quite decide whether it’s Sinbad telling the Amazon Queen, “Gosh, you’re beautiful!”, or Alina referring to her beloved as, “Ali, honey!”, or Sukra announcing – somewhat unnecessarily – “I’m different – and YOU KNOW IT!!” And magnificent as John Steiner’s performance is, I think we have to give equal props to the guy who dubbed him. I remember once asking my brother how he’d like to be the guy who had to dub Toshiro Mifune in Rashomon; I think this was an even tougher assignment.

  (Also, Arabian Adventure is pretty dull. If only Chris had gone the John Steiner route….!)

  Mostly, Sinbad Of The Seven Seas makes me want to watch the Hercules films. And Sword Of The Valiant makes me want to watch the Ator films. And NONE of them are available here!! God, I hate living in this cultural backwater….

• #7 by Blake Matthews on January 27, 2008 - 4:57 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  I think the Hercules films will warrant full-length reviews and I will personally settle for nothing less. 😉

• #8 by JessicaR on January 27, 2008 - 11:15 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  Miles’ wig looks wistful, like it’s remembering its salad days on a Doris Day film.

• #9 by Matthew Fudge on January 28, 2008 - 5:45 am

  Reply Quote

  

  Isn’t that a still from ‘Dressed to Kill’?

• #10 by KeithA on January 28, 2008 - 10:09 am

  Reply Quote

  

  Lordy, I saw Sword of the Valiant in the theater and was, at the time, genuinely excited to do so. But when the “har har, the knight can’t pee in his armor!” can opener joke can’t even make a pre-teen boy snicker, something has gone terribly wrong.

• #11 by Blake Matthews on January 28, 2008 - 11:30 am

  Reply Quote

  

  “The notion that anyone, ever, even for a second, could mistake Maureen O’Hara for a boy is absurd, of course, but that’s just part of the joke.”

  Someone needs to see “The Lady Constables” (1978), where kung fu diva Judy Lee walks into a bar wearing purple (purple!) man’s clothes, and everyone STILL thinks she’s a guy. She even hits on the female owner, whose henchmen try to beat her up for seducing their boss.

• #12 by lyzard on January 28, 2008 - 6:40 pm

  Reply Quote

  

  Isn’t that a still from ‘Dressed to Kill’?

  Yes, there was a time there in the early eighties when that wig looked like it was going to have a great career. Then, one buddy picture with Miles O’Keeffe, and… Tsk.