HEED YE THIS WARNING!! STRIP YOUR HOUSE OF ALL APPLIANCES LEST SATAN FIND AN ENTRANCE!!!!
Giving up the fight to think of something new for Long Island’s most famous piece of architecture to do, the screenwriters of the next set of Amityville sequels took a tip from author John G. Jones and packed up their troubles in an old piece of furniture. 1989’s Amityville: The Evil Escapes sees “Three Centuries Of Evil” on its way to the west coast hidden inside – [*snicker*] – a demonic lamp; while three years later, the same Evil (or is it??) takes a similar journey embedded in the workings of an antique clock, in Amityville 1992: It’s About Time. The results aren’t exactly terrifying, but they might make you think twice before you give into that urge to redecorate.
#1 by Nathan Shumate on October 23, 2008 - 9:53 pm
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This is probably a good time to remind everyone that the first season of Friday the 13th: The Series is out on DVD. Because, you know, cursed home furnishings…
#2 by lyzard on October 23, 2008 - 10:58 pm
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I still have a mirror and a dollhouse to get through. I think that will hold me for the present.
#3 by Nathan Shumate on October 24, 2008 - 6:04 am
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Too bad the franchise petered out — the possibilities are nigh endless! A possessed credenza, maybe!
#4 by Blake Matthews on October 24, 2008 - 6:14 am
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Wow, I knew it was a franchise, but I didn’t know there were EIGHT movies bearing the name Amityville.
#5 by MatthewF on October 24, 2008 - 9:17 am
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Amityville VXXVI: The Tumble Dryer – “The stain of evil won’t wash out so easy”
#6 by Blake Matthews on October 24, 2008 - 9:44 am
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Wasn’t that like “The Mangler” or something?
#7 by The Rev. D.D. on October 24, 2008 - 9:48 am
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Amityville Lazy Susan: “Evil goes for a spin.”
#8 by Nathan Shumate on October 24, 2008 - 9:57 am
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I’m still fixated on the Amityville Credenza: “You’ll Never Ask What the Hell a Credenza Is Again.”
#9 by lyzard on October 24, 2008 - 3:19 pm
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Thanks to Maggie Simpson, I already know.
Of all the failures of the re-make of The Amityville Horror, its failure to trigger another batch of idiotic direct-to-DVD pseudo-sequels is the one that rankles the most.
#10 by Nathan Shumate on October 24, 2008 - 3:23 pm
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It didn’t even trigger a ripoff from the Asylum. “The Amity Terror!”
#11 by KeithA on October 24, 2008 - 4:51 pm
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Amityville VXXVI: The Tumble Dryer – “The stain of evil won’t wash out so easy”
Ruggero Deodato beat you to the punch. From the director of Cannibal Holocaust comes…The Washing Machine. He also has one about a phone.
All this does is remind me of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force (a show I can only 75% watch) episode where Danzig moves in next door under the guarantee that Carl’s house oozes with haunted elf blood.
Reading the review of Amityville 4, it’s impossible for me not to spend the entire review waiting for the joke. Even though I know it is, I can’t quite fathom that the movie is serious, or even exists.
#12 by lyzard on October 26, 2008 - 3:15 pm
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Indeed. By It’s About Time the jokiness had set in; but The Evil Escapes plays its ridiculous premise absolutely straight, which very much endears it to me.
Apropos, there were a couple of eastern rosellas in my yard this morning – it was a nice moment.
#13 by supersonic on November 2, 2008 - 3:47 am
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re death by guitar amp — this is probably based on rare incidents in which, when the wiring isn’t quite as it should be, vacuum tube guitar amps have occasionally managed to electrocute musicians.
Minor, relatively harmless shocks from music amps are far more common than they should be. I’ve seen it happen on stage.