After a few weeks spent doing all sorts of work that, if successful, means you will hardly notice it has happened, we’re finally back in the saddle, and man did I pay the price for my absence:
SHAITANI DRACULA
In 1948, French artist Jean Dubuffet coined the term art brut, a term which became “outsider art” when critic Roger Cardinal imported it into the English language in 1972. As Dubuffet himself describes it, art brut can’t be created by anyone who functions as part of regular society, even regular art society, and so this form of fierce and feverish creativity remains the sole purview of madmen and terrifying backwoods hillbillies who make sculpture out of cat skins, metal drums, and human skulls. Or, you know, something like that. One gets the feeling, however, that if a potential creator of outsider art suddenly found himself in possession of a movie camera, some plastic Dracula fangs, and half a dozen cheap novelty wolfman masks, the resultant film that would come from that fertile and lunatic mind would look something like Shaitani Dracula, a creation so far beyond the pale of anything we can recognize as a movie that one can only assume no sane human was involved in the production, and the entire thing somehow simply sprang fully formed out of one of those Victorian era madhouses where the patients all wander around in a big open room, giggling and possessed of various degrees of “crazy” hair.
#1 by lyzard on December 8, 2008 - 5:36 pm
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DIBS!!!!!!!!!!
#2 by Blake Matthews on December 9, 2008 - 4:17 am
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Do Bollywood movies actually have nudity, or is skimpy clothing as far as it goes?
#3 by El Santo on December 9, 2008 - 8:00 am
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I’m hardly an expert on the subject, but so far as I know, skimpy clothing is usually it– which is a shame, because if anybody in the world should be making softcore sexploitation movies right now, it’s India.
And on an unrelated note, I wonder what it says about me that this is the first Indian movie I’ve read about that sounds at all like something I could stand…
#4 by Blake Matthews on December 9, 2008 - 8:46 am
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That “Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love” movie that came out a decade ago–was it an American or an Indian production?
#5 by KeithA on December 9, 2008 - 10:10 am
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That was a US production. here has been nudity in Indian films in the past, almost exclusively in the southern film market (which, though we lump it all in as Bollywood over here, is an entirely separate industry with its own stars and tropes). It seems like it has dwindled to non-existence even there in the past ten years. When a movie does do it, it’s almost always the exact same two scenes — a scene of a woman who starts off showering while wearing granny style undergarments, only to eventually remove her top; and a love making scene where the guy will remove the woman’s top as they roll around awkwardly and rub each others arms. For a people who gave us the kama sutra and those temples with all the sexy gods carved into them, they’re not exactly adept at filming nude scenes.
So for the most part, the whole of Indian cinema walks that razor’s edge of hypocrisy where it’s taboo to show a bare breast or kissing, but you can have a dozen hot models writhing around in a sudden rain storm and gyrating into the camera.
Male nudity is apparently peeking its butt cheeks out in mainstream Bollywood cinema, though. And the kissing thing, while still causing professional busybodies and zealots to affect their usual stance of outrage, has been making some headway. But I doubt they’ll go the route of nudity, at least in Bollywood, any time soon.
Worth noting that the films that feature nudity in the south also favor the less Bollywoodish, more traditional taste in body type -i.e., a few extra pounds never hurt anyone, man or woman, which I think is pretty awesome. The preponderance of facial hair, however, does not make for especially erotic close-ups of people kissing.
Keith Allison, Professor of Nudity
#6 by Todd on December 9, 2008 - 11:01 am
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I’d add that the established fact that mainstream Bollywood stars don’t do nudity leaves many optimistic Googlers undaunted. I wish I had a fiver for every time someone arrived at my site by way of some variation on the search term “Zeenat Aman nude”.
#7 by KeithA on December 9, 2008 - 2:38 pm
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People looking for nude Bollywood star photos accounts for 40% of Teleport City’s total monthly traffic. 50% is people looking for wookie porn, and the other 10% are people who did a search for “John Saxon shirtless.”
#8 by lyzard on December 9, 2008 - 3:06 pm
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You’re lucky: all I get is “Jason [insert number] sex scene”.
#9 by Elizabeth the Ferret on December 9, 2008 - 6:29 pm
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It could be worse, Lyz. I know for a fact that El Santo got at least one hit from someone looking up the words “Bud the Chud” on google.
#10 by El Santo on December 9, 2008 - 10:13 pm
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“It could be worse, Lyz. I know for a fact that El Santo got at least one hit from someone looking up the words ‘Bud the Chud’ on google.”
Wait– don’t tell me you’re Mariah?
#11 by Elizabeth the Ferret on December 11, 2008 - 4:27 pm
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Nope.
And in my defense, I saw C.H.U.D II: Bud the C.H.U.D. when I was about ten, and was feeling nostalgic one day. There were a lot of movies that I thought were great when I was ten. Like the afore mentioned movie, plus Master of the Universe, Howard the Duck, and Motel Hell (okay, I still think Motel Hell is an awesome movie, mainly because of the dying confession of the bad guy).
#12 by kookimebux on February 1, 2009 - 12:53 pm
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Hello. And Bye. 🙂