Also a straggler meant for the last update, which I couldn’t quite finish in time for the deadline.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008), in which the Earth may not until the very end, but Keanu Reeves, as usual, stands still throughout the entire picture…
Death Curse of Tartu (1966), in which mummified Seminole medicine men don’t like go-go dancing superannuated teenagers any more than were-jellyfish do…
Friday the 13th (2009), in which one of the two best chances for the current remake madness to improve upon the past is resoundingly blown…
The Hills Have Eyes (2006), which never had a hope in hell in the first place…
and…
Prom Night (2008), which might not eclipse its so-called antecessor, but at least manages not to suck for the most part.
#1 by Blake on December 14, 2009 - 7:30 am
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I was wondering if any of the B-masters were going to review the second film on that Something Weird Double Feature.
Good reviews as always, El Santo. Wow, you actually made me want to watch, “Prom Night.”
#2 by Christian Brimo on December 14, 2009 - 4:17 pm
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after Sting of Death, i convinced my local cult film group to show Death Curse of Tartu
or vice versa
no wonder it took them a year to let me pick another movie…
#3 by professorKettlewell on December 14, 2009 - 6:33 pm
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Nice job on all of that. You got the nail on the head with your observations on ‘The Hills Have Eyes’. If I’d had a hand in the making of that film, I would have insisted on having a bearded anthropology professor with a pipe pop up from nowhere at the end and sadly say ‘I wonder who the /real/ radioactive mutant cannibal savages are?’ in voiceover, before shaking his head in despair and walking away.
#4 by Cabal on December 15, 2009 - 12:09 pm
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“They tampered in God’s domain…”
#5 by JessicaR on December 15, 2009 - 1:13 pm
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“He learned too late that cannibal mutants are a feeeling creature and because of it, the greatest in the universe…”
#6 by The Rev. D.D. on December 15, 2009 - 8:58 pm
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“It’s not for man or radioactive mutant cannibal savage to interfere in the ways of God.”
#7 by Jellydonut25 on December 16, 2009 - 2:30 pm
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El Santo does it again.
I’ve challenged myself to watch every movie he’s ever reviewed…but I doubt I will because I’ve seen a couple that he’s given low ratings to and I dread ever watching something he gave a 0…seems like with an hour and a half of my time, I could literally do NOTHING and have more fun than watching a 0…
Not sure if El Santo reads this (or if it’s appropriate for me to do) but he’s got some holes in his Godzilla reviews (specifically, he has never reviewed Son of Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters, Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II or anything after Godzilla vs Destoroyah…i’d like to see him take a crack at those…)
#8 by professorKettlewell on December 16, 2009 - 5:06 pm
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Rev: I am going to make a t-shirt with that on it.
#9 by Christian Brimo on December 16, 2009 - 5:24 pm
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i like the graffiti in the Left 4 Dead videogame: ‘Humans are the real monsters’ ‘No, that’s the zombies’
#10 by Read MacGuirtose on December 18, 2009 - 1:34 am
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Indeed, I have a sneaking suspicion that someone who came to Bay and Nispel’s version in ignorance of the eleven films that it supposedly wipes from continuity would find the remake a somewhat confusing experience, like a clip-reel of highlights removed from their intended narrative context.
For what it’s worth, I saw the 2009 Friday the 13th (not entirely by choice; my roommate rented it) without ever having seen any of the older Friday the 13th movies, and I didn’t find it at all confusing. Mind you, I’m not saying I thought it was good; just that I didn’t think it was confusing. There wasn’t really enough plot there to get confused by.
Then again, while I haven’t seen the earlier movies, I certainly know about them—and have read all your reviews of them, as well as Lyz Kingsley’s in-depth dissections. So I guess perhaps I don’t really qualify as being entirely “in ignorance” of the earlier films. So, uh… never mind.
#11 by professorKettlewell on December 19, 2009 - 4:13 pm
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Read: I think that ‘Friday the 13th’ has soaked into popular culture, like ionising radiation into a feral ex-miner to the extent that everbody ‘knows’ the structure by now. A few years ago, I was talking to a nice, polite businesslady in my company who said she always got childishly scared on a Friday 13th in case “Jason comes after me”. This is a person who you could never, ever imagine going to see a shitty little exploitation pic like Cunningham’s, but she knew that Jason wore a mask and killed women with an axe, and yet was completely ignorant of that disagreeable spat between Phillipe le Bel and Jacques de Molay. That’s the extent to which ‘Friday’ has permeated culture. Which may or may not be a victory of sorts.