Although we’re kicking it off a little later than I’d hoped, Teleport City is spending October celebrating the bizarre world of Asian horror films. And what better way to start things off than with…
Old Hong Kong movies use the presence of a Taoist priest as a license to print crazy, despite the real world practice of Taoism’s emphasis on quiet contemplation and equilibrium with nature. As these filmmakers would have it, that age old philosophical tradition is all about people shooting cartoon lightning bolts out of their hands, repelling one another with weapon strength, supersonic laughter and, of course, watermelon monsters. In short, exactly the type of religion that might get me to turn my back on my secular ways once and for all.
Elsewhere in our mad empire, horror films in general are the order of the day:
DAY OF THE DEAD
In which I make myself one of the ten people in the world who actually liked this idiotic 2008 re-imagining of the Goerge Romero movie people now insist is a classic even though most of them didn’t like it so much until someone dared re-imagine it. Still, this is the closest thing we’ve gotten to a good old-fashioned Italian zombie movie in years.
MADHOUSE
In which producers go to the “Vincent Price is a crazy guy who devises elaborate, themed ways in which to kill people” well one too many times and come up with a movie that would have merely been “meh” if it hadn’t also happened to be Price’s final horror film.
SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD
In which George Romero attempts to redeem himself for Diary of the Dead by making a movie that is merely dull and soulless, instead of totally unwatchable.
THEATRE OF BLOOD
In which Vincent Price stars as a mad stage actor who murders critics who called him hammy, resulting in possibly Price’s greatest film and certainly one of my favorites.
Also, if you want to read a disjointed “summary by twitter” account of three days at the New York Comic Con/New York Anime Fest, and hassle me for not knowing the guy’s name was Black Adam instead of Black Atom (seriously,what sort of superhero doesn’t call himself Atom???), and for referring to that sexy fishnet stocking magician woman as Zartana instead of Zatanna, you can do that here.
#1 by Paul on October 12, 2010 - 11:04 am
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” most of them didn’t like it so much until someone dared re-imagine it. ”
Erm, just had to dive in here and object! I always loved that film, partly because even the trailer scared the hell out of me when I first saw it (hey, I was 10!), while Rhodes’ death and Bub are classic moments of 80s cinema. I definitely watched it many times before Steve Miner got his grubby mitts on the title.
I’ve never bothered with the remake, mostly because they apparently ignored the premise of the original in favour of yet another origin story. I will one day, but I’m in no rush.
#2 by Ed on October 12, 2010 - 11:49 am
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I gotta disagree with you on Survival, Keith. I thought it was fantastic. Miles better than Diary, at any rate.
I’m with you all the way on Theater of Blood and Madhouse, though. I think I enjoyed Madhouse a little more than you, simply because it falls apart in such an entertaining way.
#3 by KeithA on October 12, 2010 - 12:05 pm
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Paul, that’s why I qualified it with “most.” I know people who always have and always will love Romero’s original, but I also know a lot of people who didn’t like up until it became some sort of crusade to defend it’s honor against the dastardly 2008 remake, all showing up and twirling its thin black handlebar mustache. Think of the 2008 movie not as a remake of DAY, but as a companion piece to a Mattei/Fragasso movie.
Ed: I do agree that SURVIVAL is miles better than Diary, but for me that’s like saying getting punched in the face is miles better than getting stabbed in the face. It’s true, but neither of them are pleasant experiences for me. Actually, that’s unfair. Survival was better than being punched in the face.
#4 by El Santo on October 12, 2010 - 12:12 pm
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The critics rave: “BETTER THAN BEING PUNCHED IN THE FACE!” says Teleport City…
#5 by The Rev. on October 12, 2010 - 5:04 pm
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Aww, I hope you don’t think I was hasslin’ you! It was an honest question, because for all I know there was a Black Atom out there I had never heard of.
Besides, when the chips are done, I’m guessing you’d have a lot more to hassle me on than vice versa.
On a related note, I kind of like the new blog. It’s nice to get these little reviewlets on a steady basis, to serve as a nice snack between the Cabal’s larger reviews.
(Speaking of blogs, I need to catch up on Ms. Kingsley’s…)
#6 by Dr. Mabuse on October 13, 2010 - 9:14 pm
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I always found it funny, in THEATRE OF BLOOD, that the critics who called Lionheart a bad actor were unable to see through his disguises until it was too late.
#7 by El Santo on October 13, 2010 - 9:22 pm
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You know, that’s an excellent point.
#8 by Blake on October 14, 2010 - 8:48 am
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I think it was at the beginning of 2009 that I finally sat down to watch MR. VAMPIRE for the first time. I thought it was entertaining, although I personally don’t think it should’ve been nominated for the Best Action Design Award at the HK Film Awards, especially considering that the Sammo Hung Stuntman Association (Hung Ga Ban) got two other nominations that year (Heart of Dragon; My Lucky Stars). I think they could’ve at least nominated HONG KONG GODFATHER, which ends with three people armed with “choppers” killing about a hundred and fifty people, also armed with choppers.
#9 by Carl on October 16, 2010 - 9:05 pm
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Heart of Dragon and My Lucky Stars? Both of those movie were terrible. You’re serious?
#10 by Blake on October 17, 2010 - 7:24 am
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The action in those movies is quite good (it’s not every day you get to see Jackie Chan burying machetes in people’s necks or fighting ninjas), although I thought TWINKLE, TWINKLE LUCKY STARS had better action than MY LUCKY STARS. The winner that year, nonetheless, was POLICE STORY.
#11 by KeithA on October 18, 2010 - 12:45 pm
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Heart of the Dragon had a couple great action scenes, but not nearly enough to justify it winning any sort of an award. Ditto the Lucky Stars films.
I can’t say they didn’t chose wisely when Police Story won. It’s been…what? Twenty years or more since I first saw that movie, and every time I watch it, those action scenes still blow my mind.
I wonder why Encounter of the Spooky Kind is so readily available, but Spooky Kind II is MIA?
#12 by Blake on October 18, 2010 - 1:05 pm
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For the record, the fifth movie nominated that year was YES, MADAM!, which has one of the greatest final fights ever filmed. I think that was (or should have been) the closest rival to POLICE STORY.