Or at least, blog visitor Ed did, back when I reviewed Zombi Holocaust So you can blame him.
.
This, the third panel in the Ian McCulloch Triptych, finds our hero playing an alcoholic ex-astronaut, drummed out of the service after returning from a mission to Mars babbling about a mysterious light and a cave full of green, football-sized, egg-like objects.
Two years later, an apparently abandoned ship floats into New York City Harbour. On board are the mutilated bodies of the crew, while the hold is found to be full of strange green objects. When disturbed, these objects burst and shower anyone nearby with a fluid that makes them swell up and explode.
.
The job of saving the world from this peculiar alien invasion falls to the boozy astronaut, the feisty female colonel who cashiered him in the first place, and a mouthy NY cop who for obvious reasons keeps having his self-deprecating remarks taken at face value.
In other words, the greatest trio of superheroes since The New Justice Team.
[No boobs, but some blood and guts – so probably NSFW.]
#1 by Ed on November 6, 2010 - 7:07 am
Quote
Good stuff, Liz.
Amazingly enough, I think Cozzi has made sci-fi movies worse than Starcrash.
If you ever feel like putting yourself through the experience of a bad acid trip without actually taking acid, check out the 1983 Hercules and it’s 1985 sequel The Adventures of Hercules. He uses pretty much the same star fields from Starcrash, Lou Ferrigno is the star of both (unfortunately dubbed) and I believe Nathan will back me up on how much of a brain melter the finale of the second movie is.
Cannon Films and Luigi Cozzi: A deadly mix if there ever was one. I think they handled the U.S. distribution for Contamination as well.
#2 by lyzard on November 6, 2010 - 2:53 pm
Quote
I suppose I don’t think of the Hercules-es as being science fiction – but yeah, Cozzi definitely shoehorned some SF in there, too.
#3 by Ed on November 6, 2010 - 4:20 pm
Quote
True, they’re more fantasy. Still skin-peelingly bad movies, though.
#4 by B. Wood on November 6, 2010 - 7:50 am
Quote
Sad thing is that this is still a so much better thought out alien invasion than the one in Signs…
Hey just imagine if the people who exploded had naked women jump out of them! We’d have the nudity to go with the gore! Then we’d really have something memorable! Or has that movie already been made?
#5 by Ed on November 6, 2010 - 9:25 am
Quote
I’d imagine that if it’s already been made, it’s probably directed by either Jim Wynorski or Fred Olen Ray.
#6 by The Rev. on November 6, 2010 - 10:27 am
Quote
Well, I have to say, the Cyclops is actually better-looking than what I’d imagined it to look like.
I’m glad one of the Immortal Dialogue entries featuring someone comparing the pods to avocados; that first shot of them in your review, that was my first thought, and yet I don’t think I’ve seen a reviewer refer to them as such, usually going with “green footballs.” Also, thanks for including the olive picture. Good lord, there’s no mistaking them, is there?
It was interesting to see Monty Python references instead of Simpsons ones for a change. You been watching MP lately, or did it just happen that way?
Great review as always. I suppose I need to see this now. I’ve wanted to, due to the gore and wanting to see the Cyclops, but now to that, I’m wondering what the twist is, and whether Aris survived.
#7 by lyzard on November 6, 2010 - 3:00 pm
Quote
The Cyclops is gorgeous. They’ve got it lurking in the shadows for obvious reasons, so it’s hard to get good screenshots, but in context it works really well.
The olives are kind of the reverse of the bad superimposition shots we’ve discussed before: they look rather better with the camera moving and the lighting effects in place than they do in a still; but no, there’s not much doubt about what you’re looking at. Mind you – I really do enjoy this kind of low-budget, imaginative effects work. It makes me smile the way CGI never will.
Honestly, the Holy Grail joke writes itself: I swear that’s Sir Bedevere’s helmet Stella is wearing in that scene. From there I guess it was association of ideas – and, you know, the exploding people.
#8 by Blake on November 6, 2010 - 3:08 pm
Quote
I don’t recall you making much comment in your review as to its appearance and how it compares with certain human parts. I thought that was the first thing most people notice.
#9 by lyzard on November 6, 2010 - 3:16 pm
Quote
Maybe my mind works differently from other people’s, but I don’t see all that much similarity. There are many other monsters where the, uh, family resemblance is much more obvious.
#10 by The Rev. on November 6, 2010 - 10:29 am
Quote
Er, “entries featured,” even.
#11 by Blake on November 6, 2010 - 10:33 am
Quote
I caught the end of this movie on YouTube. The monster is pretty neat, I’ll give it that.
#12 by B. Wood on November 6, 2010 - 9:18 pm
Quote
Hmmn, was there a giant robot centaur in one of those Hercules movies? I sorta remember seeing one with Lou as herc and him fighting a giant robot centaur on the moon. And when your six, that is like the coolest thing ever.
#13 by KeithA on November 7, 2010 - 12:15 pm
Quote
Those Hercules movies are masterpieces. You people are crazy.
I while back, I found a stack of near mint condition issues of FUTURE/FUTURE LIFE published by the Starlog people. In one issue, which I’ll scan in, is a write up on the thrilling new sci-fi epic out of Italy called STAR CRASH. It’s basically a very long interview with Luigi Cozzi about how much he loves science fiction and how hard it is not to have your films reduced to utter garbage by Italian producers who keep cutting the budget, taking things away, rewriting the script, etc., while you are in the middle of trying to make a movie.
#14 by Ed on November 7, 2010 - 5:25 pm
Quote
Oh, I love those movies too, Keith. I just think they’re terrible. I love them the same way I love Howling II.
I also dig Sinbad of the Seven Seas, you can’t imagine how thrilled I was to find that at my local flea market for five bucks. I had a smile like the Joker.
#15 by supersonic on November 9, 2010 - 4:02 pm
Quote
I take it this is not the Ian McCulloch who was in Echo And The Bunnymen?
I could not keep track of the different characters you were talking about in the review, because you referred to them all by last name and every last name in the movie apparently started with H.
#16 by lyzard on November 9, 2010 - 4:25 pm
Quote
Not by about twenty years.
Yes, that struck me, too. They way the movie plays out, surnames are more appropriate, but I was glad when “Stella” and “Tony” became “Stella” and “Tony”, however briefly.
#17 by El Santo on November 9, 2010 - 7:31 pm
Quote
There’s a similar situation in Women’s Prison Massacre; in that movie, the character names blur confusingly together because damn near all of them end in “-son.”
#18 by supersonic on November 9, 2010 - 9:49 pm
Quote
What, was it a Norwegian prison?
That sounds hot…
#19 by Doc on November 10, 2010 - 8:14 am
Quote
Contamination arriving tonight from Netflix–can’t wait!
#20 by Doc on November 11, 2010 - 9:33 am
Quote
I can’t believe this–Contamination never arrived! The post office only received the red cover, disc missing. First time this has happened to me.
I can’t believe someone could have swiped THIS movie. Now I really have to see it!
#21 by lyzard on November 11, 2010 - 7:57 pm
Quote
I’ve never had that problem, but The Amityville Curse arrived snapped almost in half. I never thought it was that bad, myself.
#22 by KeithA on November 11, 2010 - 10:44 pm
Quote
Fresh off the press, from the February 1979 issue of FUTURE magazine Luigi Cozzi on science fiction, science fiction fandom, working in Italian exploitation film, and Caroline Munroe.
http://teleport-city.com/luigi.pdf
About 30 megs, because quality counts.
#23 by Doc on November 16, 2010 - 11:48 am
Quote
We now live in a world where movies like Contamination are not only mysteriously disappearing in the mail, but where Netflix will get a replacement of it out to you in two days. That thought made me laugh almost as hard as this movie’s jaw-dropping dialogue.
But the Cyclops rocked!
#24 by The Rev. on August 19, 2014 - 11:51 pm
Quote
All right, I decided to put my thoughts here, and leave the Thing with Two Heads thread in peace.
Overall I enjoyed it. I can’t say I loved it, but I was more entertained than not. There were a couple of stretches around the middle that were dull going, and Stella’s transformation to useless damsel in distress was infuriating; those were my biggest problems. I could have done without every single exploding person/animal scene being shot in slo-mo, especially since they were more splattery and enthusiastic than realistic and not helped by getting a good long look at them. The exploding rat was fairly boffo, though. Speaking of, Lyz will be happy to know I worried about what they did to the real rat to get it to suddenly start struggling when they “injected” it. Sure, the animal appeared to end up no worse for wear, but it felt like they either actually injected it with something or the actor started squeezing it.
On the plus side, the opening scenes were good, the warehouse scene had a couple of nice moments, there was some good interplay between the characters, and the last scenes pick up steam again, including that one really good twist (I didn’t think things would play out that way until, well, they actually did). The explosion effect isn’t particularly convincing, as I said, but it happens so often and is so silly that I found it got funnier each time it happened. I found it interesting that the pods cooed (snored?) when they were ripe. My favorite part of the movie was easily the alien. The screenshot Lyz had of it was pretty nice, but isn’t a good substitute for seeing it in action. I really liked it; it had some nice details (like the two slobbering, quivering mouths) and I found it to be an effective presence. It reminded me of the alien from Demonwarp, in that both were rubbery, mostly-immobile aliens that show up at the very end of their respective movies. Of course, this one was a lot better-looking and more proactive in getting its daily requirement of human flesh, so it’s hands-down the winner of that particular comparison.
It’s a fun way to spend some time, I’d say. I won’t be rewatching it as often as, say, Zombi 2, but I’m sure I’ll watch it again.