Sorry, folks. I was supposed to kick off the “Secret Santa’s Revenge” last night, but events conspired to put me in bed by 8pm. (Alone and trying to sleep, lest you think that I blew you off for some nookie.)
Nevertheless! I’m here bright-eyed and bushy-tailed*, to present you with the feature which was “gifted” to me by Greywizard of The Unknown Movies: Titanic: The Animated Movie (2001). Enjoy!**
*As far as you know.
** Technically impossible.
#1 by B. Wood on December 17, 2010 - 8:18 am
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I’ve very glad I didn’t have my drink in my mouth when I saw the rapping dog. Otherwise I would have had to clean my monitor of. What The Hell? What the hell does a rapping dog have to do with the Titantic? Theres so much wrong with it, that my mind has been boggled. The only being I can think of that is so twisted as to come up with such a thing is Nyatharltep himself.
#2 by MatthewF on December 17, 2010 - 8:36 am
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So essentiall it’s a Sliding Doors version of An American Tale, where instead of getting to America, the boat sinks half-way. That’s totally appropriate subject matter for a childrens cartoon, I can’t wait for the Chernobyl movie.
#3 by The Rev. on December 17, 2010 - 8:45 am
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I wonder if anyone involved with this was also involved in that King Kong animated movie Greywizard reviewed years ago…
Schindler’s List: The Merry Musical. That may’ve been the Head’s funniest line yet.
I’m still waiting for the animated Jonestown movie, complete with the Kool-Aid Man in a special appearance! (I know, it was supposed to be Flavor-Aid, but they don’t have a mascot, now do they? Like kids would know the difference…)
#4 by Nathan Shumate on December 17, 2010 - 12:51 pm
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That was Ken who reviewed The Mighty Kong. I thought there might be a connection, too, but I checked and there wasn’t. Two unrelated parties of similar suckitude.
(What about that striped drinking straw with eyeballs on the Flavor-Aid envelopes?)
#5 by The Rev. on December 17, 2010 - 6:57 pm
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I confess, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen Flavor-Aid, so if they had a mascot I’m unaware of it.
You’re right, that was Ken’s piece. D’oh! Time to administer the Seven Cuts of Shame…
#6 by Blake on December 17, 2010 - 9:27 am
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Man, I hope the double-feature that I have lined up for this weekend totally defeats me like this animated film defeated you.
#7 by KeithA on December 17, 2010 - 12:08 pm
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I wish I still had the scan of that Moby Dick DVD with the rainbow and the smiling whale and the happy child sitting atop the whale, which identifies it as being based on “the beloved children’s fairy tale” or something similar
#8 by Alaric on December 17, 2010 - 7:49 pm
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Is this what you’re thinking of?
#9 by Nathan Shumate on December 17, 2010 - 8:27 pm
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Oh my. That’s… well, I hope it’s unique.
#10 by The Rev. on December 18, 2010 - 8:45 am
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Sweet lord…the eye…it follows me wherever I go. That happy cartoon whale is staring into my very soul.
MY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUL
#11 by Nathan Shumate on December 18, 2010 - 10:13 am
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You sure it’s not staring at your leg?
#12 by Jen S on December 18, 2010 - 12:44 pm
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mmmmmm…..leg.
#13 by lyzard on December 20, 2010 - 7:58 pm
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It seems to be a common misapprehension: the Gregory Peck version of Moby Dick was on our local Family Movie Channel over the weekend.
I remember having nightmares as a kid over the animated version of Oliver Twist that ends with Bill Sykes accidentally hanging himself. That thing was on all the damn time…
#14 by Read MacGuirtose on December 21, 2010 - 3:28 am
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Now, really, why shouldn’t Moby Dick be considered a children’s fairy tale? I mean, it’s just like every other cute talking animal story, except that the animal isn’t cute, doesn’t talk, and kills off most of the other characters at the end of the book. Okay, and the pervasive themes of damnation, pantheism, and loss of the self. But aside from all that…
#15 by lyzard on December 21, 2010 - 3:59 am
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And dumplings. Don’t forget dumplings.