In just a little under twenty minutes, the short film Private manages to capture a lot of what made many of those film noir mystery movies from the 1940s and 1950s so compelling.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
Archive for category New Reviews
Short, but sweet
Jan 25
In just a little under twenty minutes, the short film Private manages to capture a lot of what made many of those film noir mystery movies from the 1940s and 1950s so compelling.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
Curious Cannon comedy
Jan 15
An AIRPLANE!-styled comedy made by a dying Cannon Films might seem to have the smell of doom around it, but A Man Called Sarge is probably somewhat funnier than you may be expecting.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
Cannon cover-up
Jan 5
Although the hero in Exterminator 2 wasn’t repeatedly covering his face because he was ashamed, I would certainly understand if that were the case.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
Now that I’m almost done with the Halloween franchise, my thoughts naturally turn toward what I might do for my next long-running undertaking. What I’ve settled on is something of a departure for 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting: under the expert guidance of longtime reader Blake “H-Man” Matthews, I’m going to try to achieve basic competence in the field of Hong Kong martial arts movies. Don’t worry– there’ll still be plenty of slashers, Satanists, rubber-suit monsters, and all the other things you’ve come to expect from me on the agenda, but at least for the near future, you’ll also be seeing a lot more skinny little Asian guys walloping each other. Here’s some idea of how that’s likely to work in practice:
Deadly Embrace (1989), in which David DeCoteau might call himself “Ellen Cabot,” but he isn’t fooling anybody who knows his work at all well…
The Legend of Spider Forest (1971), in which an artist on holiday in Bavaria has his vacation ruined by killer spiders, fugitive Nazis, and a weirdo scientist running his own private nerve-agent lab…
The Vampire Doll (1970), in which Toho tries its hand at Hammer horror, the AIP Poe cycle, and 60’s Eurogothic, all at the same time…
and…
Vengeance! (1970), in which the exceedingly dangerous brother of a slain Chinese opera star vows to get even with the criminal cartel responsible for his murder, even if that means taking on the local warlord and his army.
El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.
This movie really blows
Dec 6
Sub-sub-sub par efforts like The Trumpet Of The Swan go a long way in explaining why the demand for American hand-drawn animated theatrical movies evaporated completely.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
I’m not sure I’ve ever posted an update in which the newest film reviewed and the oldest were separated by more than a hundred years. At the very least, it can’t have happened more than once or twice.
Bad Meat (2011), in which it’s an open question whether the inmates of a reprogramming camp for juvenile delinquents were worse off before or after the camp staff got turned into mindless rage-zombies…
Bones and All (2022), in which awards-bait romance and explicit cannibalism are the two acquired tastes that taste really frigging weird together…
The Frozen Dead (1966), in which the mad scientist and his Nazi paymasters would have a much easier time getting their Fourth Reich up and running if his lab assistant would stop helping…
Halloween (2018), in which it’s another open question whether Michael Myers or Laurie Strode is the crazier one this time around…
Planet of the Vampire Women (2011), which comes within a hair’s breadth of living up to all the implications of that title…
Queen of Atlantis (1921), in which H. Rider Haggard’s Ayesha isn’t the only terminally horny sorceress-queen lounging around North Africa seducing European explorers…
and…
School of the Holy Beast (1974), in which I had no idea they made naughty nun movies in Japan!
El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.
An examination of The Doctor revealed that this is one medical professional you really need to see.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
Frig this Friggin’ movie
Nov 16
In one of his final roles, Robin Williams appeared in the Christmas holiday movie A Merry Friggin’ Christmas, and the finished product may even sour jolly old Santa.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
Kirk Douglas not only starred in Scalawag, he also directed and co-wrote it. And… well, let’s just say that it’s unlikely that even the incredibly prolific Kino Lorber video label will give this a stateside disc release any time soon.Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.
…because, well, how would you tell the difference anyway? Nevertheless, this particular crop of reviews accidentally ended up being pretty close to a normal person’s idea of what might be appropriate to the season:
Count Dracula (1970), in which Harry Alan Towers and Jesus Franco try to con us all into believing they’ve made the Most Faithful Dracula Movie Ever, but the only person they fool is Christopher Lee…
House of the Long Shadows (1983), in which the surviving Horror Geezers gather in a spooky old house to be stalked-and-slashed like a pack of horny teenagers…
The Living Skeleton (1968), in which we begin with watery ghosts, but end with sheer madness…
and…
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (1968), in which Jack Palance sucks even worse than usual, but strangely doesn’t hurt the movie much by doing so.
El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.