Too much, really, as it happened. One of the movies I planned to review for this update had to get kicked back into next month’s update so that I could keep all these tangly-ass mysteries about black-gloved killers straight enough to write about them!

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970), in which Dario Argento more or less singlehandedly convinces people outside of West Germany to care about gialli at long last…

The Cat o’ Nine Tails (1971), in which Argento really earns his nickname as the Italian Hitchcock…

Gently Before She Dies (1972), in which I acquire a new favorite riff on “The Black Cat,” but still can’t bring myself to type Your Vice Is a Locked Room, and Only I Have the Key over and over again…

and…

A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin (1971), in which Lucio Fulci, of all people, proves that a giallo can be full of arresting, irrational imagery and still make solid, logical sense for the most part.

Once again, Juniper spent the last few weeks of summer visiting family in the cool and verdant mountains, rather than sticking out the “Hell’s front porch” phase of the season here in the Chesapeake tidewater. So here’s another update heavily freighted with reviews of films she’d rather not think about (plus a couple less loathsome things we watched together after she got back):

Candyman (1992), in which some urban legends really are true, even when they really are just legends…

Entrails of a Virgin (1986), in which there are plenty of entrails, but precious few virgins to be found…

Grotesque (1988), in which you get three movies for the price of one, plus the disembodied conclusions to two more as a bonus…

The Killer Snakes (1974), in which the Shaw Brothers do Willard, and no animals weren’t harmed during the production of this film…

and…

The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent (1957), in which it takes almost long to type the title as it does to watch the movie.

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

It’s been… What? A year and a half since that happened? I’ve been missing that, let me tell you! Anyway, here’s the new stuff:

Gawain and the Green Knight (1973), which you might alternately think of as the beta test for Sword of the Valiant, or as Monty Python and the Holy Grail without the jokes…

The Green Knight (2021), in which the same old story gets a much more thoughtful (and also much more engagingly odd) treatment…

Halloween H20 (1998), in which, incredibly, we finally get a really good Halloween sequel…

The Last Dinosaur (1977), in which the title refers more properly to Richard Boone than to his Tyrannosaur nemesis…

and…

Rolls Royce Baby (1975), in which Erwin C. Dietrich borrows Lina Romay from Jesus Franco, and then just has her ride around the middle of nowhere in an old-timey limousine, picking up hitchhikers to screw.

And here’s another up-from-the-studs rebuild:

The Journey: Absolution (1997), which was my first brush with David DeCoteau way back when.

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.