Archive for category New Reviews

Very well done, despite not being a sequel to PIECES

FragmentsWhat happens to ordinary people after a great traumatic experience? Fragments (a.k.a. WINGED CREATURES) provides an interesting and insightful look at the various things that can happen to these people.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

1, 2, 3… hey, look at Mr. Lee

The KeeperThe 1976 horror movie The Keeper is one of actor Christopher Lee’s most obscure efforts. And since it’s Canadian, it is also one of his worst.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Either My Last Update of 2021, or My First of 2022, Depending on Where You’re Sitting

The whole extended El Santo family got breakthrough COVID infections for Christmas this year, so this update is both a week or so late and a couple reviews short. I’ll rectify the second half of that next time. For now, though:

The Lost Empire (1983), in which pretty girls with big boobs take on the mysterious final holdover of an ancient, pre-human civilization…

The Phantom Empire (1988), in which the mysterious, final holdover of an ancient, pre-human civilization is a pretty girl with big boobs…

The Stalls of Barchester (1971), in which a fusspot scholar finds the cathedral library that he’s supposed to be cataloguing a total bore until he gets to the personal papers of an extremely naughty archdeacon…

and…

A Warning to the Curious (1972), in which the aforementioned fusspot scholar has an altogether more direct encounter with supernatural peril.

 

 

 

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

A Con’em film

Con ExpressBy 2002, PM Entertainment was on its last legs, at this point making movies like Con Express, where the extensive footage cribbed from other movies was in every way much better than anything they newly filmed.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Time passes, not much happens

The Time TravellerI think Omega Entertainment wishes they could go back in time so that their release of the movie The Time Traveller (a.k.a. THE NEXT ONE) could then get much better DVD case art.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

26 years wasn’t long enough

ImpsShelved for 26 years (!!!) before finally getting released, the sketch comedy movie Imps has in its cast cult stars such as Linda Blair, John Carradine, Sybil Danning, Fred Willard, Marilyn Chambers, Jennifer Tilly, Jimmie Walker, David L. Lander, and Michael McKean. What it doesn’t have, unfortunately, are any laughs.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Posted Last Night at 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting

I always enjoy an all-over-the-map update after one as narrowly focused as last month’s:

 

Beast from Haunted Cave (1959), in which the bank robbers were ready for anything except a monster…

Dracula (1973), in which I’m not sure how you arrive at the decision to cast a cowboy in decline as frigging Count Dracula, but that’s what Dan Curtis did…

Dune, Part One (2021), in which I’m insisting on that “Part One” precisely because the producers were so determined to downplay it…

Frankenstein (1973), in which Curtis does something even more radical than casting Jack Palance as Dracula: he makes a Frankenstein movie that more or less follows the book!

Halloween: Resurrection (2002), in which the second major timeline of the Halloween franchise reaches an ending even more ignominious than the first one’s…

Superchick (1973), in which she may have a secret identity, but her only superpower is polyamory…

and…

What Have You Done to Solange? (1972), in which I saved the sleaziest for last with regard to my recent giallo binge.

 

 

 El Santo rules the wasteland-- and also 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting.

I don’t get it

Get SantaThe British family Christmas movie Get Santa might have been passable or even very good had it not heavily aped the worst of American Christmas movies.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

A message movie from… Uwe Boll???

Attack On DarfurWhile Attack On Darfur is packaged as an action movie, it’s actually a movie delivering a serious message about the brutality of both armed conflict and genocide.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.

Lost at sea

The Sea GypsiesThere is little in The Sea Gypsies to differentiate it from the plethora of other mediocre wilderness-oriented family movies of the 1970s.
Keith Bailey is the proprietor of The Unknown Movies Page.